insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

Alright, alright.

[He stands, having already paid for his meal when she was enjoying her tea, turning toward the exit. He's not sure if she's just agreed to this because he was pestering her about it, or if maybe she is interested, but just doesn't want to deal with him considering the little fiasco back in Fontaine.

Ajax hopes that something will get her to want to follow him down this road. But the only thing now to do is to go to that spot, where Childe and Lumine had spent a nice moment together. When he thinks about it, he wouldn't mind having a nice moment like that with her, too. He laughs at himself for thinking that. As if that could happen.]

Since you know where it is, mind leading the way? I can call a cab if it's far.

What, too rich and spoiled to walk?

[ that's a good suggestion, but lumine quickly weighs the pros and cons of hailing a cab in her head before she starts walking towards the direction of the bridge.

sure, it'll be faster, but she'll also be stuck in a small, enclosed space with him. the last thing she needs is less distance from him, which could potentially trigger another series of visions or whatever. no, walking is preferable, if only bec she can put a few feet's distance from him.

the bridge isn't very far anyway, and the night air is nice and cool from parts of the marshes that still survived after a thousand years. it would've been a pleasant walk, but then, she's stuck with ajax. ]

It was just an offer.

[He shrugs, but walking is perfectly fine by him. It is a nice night out, as they set out on their journey down to the bridge. He makes sure to look around and take in the sights of the little suburb of Liyue Harbor, noting how quaint it was.

He doesn't figure she'll be in the mood for talking, so he stays relatively silent for most of the walk over. It's not until they finally reach the bridge that he speaks again, giving it a look over.]

I guess I shouldn't of been expecting the same bridge. I wonder how many times it's been rebuilt since then.

[His hand runs over the metal of the railing, looking up to see how well he could see Dragonspine from here. Buildings and homes litter the landscape now, though the mountaintop does peek above the edge of it all. There's an absence of the nail that floated above the mountain from the vision they'd had, but other than that nothing especially sticks out to him.

He hadn't really known what he was expecting, looking down into what's a river now than a marsh, the water still flowing down from Dragonspine.]

I suppose you were right, after all.

[Ajax looks a little down at the discovery of nothing, turning to her.]

Listen, I know you don't want to have anything to do with me, but...I still want to say thank you, for at least giving this a chance.

[He offers a hand, as some kind of last goodwill gesture.]

I guess it's time we go our separate ways. Partings are special moments, after all. Grant me that I can at least make this one amiable in some way.

[ she's admittedly surprised that nothing happened. though a part of her expected this, another part of her hoped that something would—if only to bring some form of closure to this weird incident between them. maybe that's it, though. maybe that's all there is to it, just visions of a past that never happened to the both of them.

her gaze flickers at dragonspine rising above the rooftops and eaves of the houses littering the once previous marsh. that one remains unchanging, a landscape that's always been unforgiving.

lumine turns back to him at his remark, her eyes dropping to the hand he's offering to her. funny, how he expects her to take it as if he didn't just sprain her other hand some days before. she almost rolls her eyes, even if it's supposedly there to make things "better".

she can't see how that would now. ]

... Wait, [ she pauses, her brows wrinkling. ] Say that again.

What?

[He's starting to feel weird with the proffered hand out in public, and he doesn't quite know what to do with it since she hasn't taken it.]

You were right? Thank you? It's time to go our separate ways?

[Those were all things she'd like to hear, right? He looks at her confused, perhaps he'd it at least the right one.]

[ it's true that those are the things she wanted to hear from him, and more, actually. but: ]

No, [ lumine replies with a shake of her head. ] Partings are what?

[ because where has she heard that before? certainly not from aether, not from anything or anywhere recent. and yet it's something that's always resonated with her somehow. she doesn't know why, though she has an inkling as to what might be causing it, but still.

he can keep his hand right there until he's said it. ]

Oh, yes.

[He's surprised that's the thing she clung to. It's such a sentimental part of him, one he doesn't show often to other people. So he only smiles warmly and repeats himself.]

Partings are special moments. I wouldn't want to leave with nothing but complete animosity between us, because I think we really get on well, you know?

[Aside from sprained wrists and shady deals.]

It's just too bad things ended like this, is all.

[ she'd argue with him on that. that things would've ended badly anyway, that there would still be animosity growing between them as an eventuality. it just so happens that she's managed to learn about aether's involvement in his family's shady dealings early on. ]

That's what you think.

[ she takes his hand with another heavy sigh. maybe with this, she'll finally be rid of him once and for all. aether just needs to—

her eyes widen when he suddenly disappears in front of her, the landscape completely changing. liyue architecture, the designs very much oriental, but at the same time, she knows this isn't a typical liyuen establishment either. the masked individuals standing at certain points of the room tell her as much, as is the man in a familiar coat.

so you were here the whole time? what are you hiding for?

lumine turns around at the shrill voice, seeing three figures from a distance, her eyes widening just a fraction at the sight. it isn't really the floating little girl that startles her, babbling incessantly, but "lumine", the other lumine—

partings are special moments ... that's not a memory i want to leave him with. ]

What ...

[Ajax is pleased when she steps forward to take his hand, grasping it firmly as he always would when greeting someone, whether it be a friend or a business partner.

What he doesn't expect is what happens next, the landscape of Dihua melting away and being replaced with a familiar image he'd seen before in her office, when he'd told her about his siblings while ordering food finally shapes into something familiar, more solid, and vivid. This was the room he'd been talking to those two figures, what he recognizes as that bank. The liyuean architecture gives it away almost immediately, and yet he also recognizes things that are distinctly Snezhnayan in nature. Old, but Snezhnayan.

The bank teller has a mask on, there's a few other people in the bank, and when he hears those voices, his head snaps in that direction. And he's not alone. Lumine is here too, looking as confused and shocked as he felt.

There stands Childe, a spitting image of himself, hair looking like how he wakes up in the morning. Every line and crease in his face mirrors his own, and he's completely unsurprised that Lumine lied to him about this man's appearance. He steps closer to her, too engrossed in what they were saying to give her any guff about it yet, as they continue on.

I should have been the one taking him back. I do have subordinates to escort him, but I still feel a little uneasy.]

That's me...and you again. Who's the little flying fairy there though, I wonder?

[He looks to her, before returning his attention on the trio...]

[ who cares if she lied anyway? for one thing, he's researched about this childe person—or so he claims; he should at least have some idea what he looks like. for another, it's clearly two people in the same shape and form as they are, seeing how this has been going on. ]

I don't know who that is ...

[ lumine has certainly never seen her before, at least not in the visions she's been granted lately. it's always been just her ... and him.

but one thing that really strikes her are the way these conversations seem to go, the way they reflect the current ones they have. which makes her wonder if ajax has known all along and has been leading her by her nose all this time. would it be surprising? no. but would it annoying?

terribly, yes.

she watches as the other lumine's expression soften even just a bit when he mentions about leaving someone in her care and feeling at ease about it, wordlessly expressing his trust towards her. trust that she can't tell she shares right now.

and to think not long ago, we ... ]

Long ago, they what? What??

[ wtf is this cliffhanger? it's like watching a drama. ]

[Ajax only shakes his head, jaw still hanging a little open in shock at this entire exchange. Given the interaction from the last vivid vision, he can see why Childe trusts this Lumine so much. He clearly did then, too, if even more so at the time.]

I don't know...he's not saying, either.

[It's like he can tell, that was a subject Childe didn't want to breach at the moment. Probably something unrelated and sensitive, avoiding it in a way he would too. The man in grey continues on, mentioning a fight, a promise of a rematch.

This time, with my honor as a Harbinger on the line.]

Harbinger? Harbinger Childe... [Ajax pinches the bridge of his nose, visibly shaken as to how familiar that was. Lord Childe, Master Childe, Lord Harbinger...why is this all coming to him suddenly?

Hahaha... Regardless of who wins or loses our next bout, I'd also like to invite you over to my home. I'll introduce you to my other siblings, Tonia and Anthon.

They're great kids, and I'm very proud of them both.]

Haven't I said that before? [He looks at her, a frightened confusion on his expression, then suddenly realizing.] Lumine, he was talking about Teucer before...I'd bet you all the mora in my bank account.

[ his mention of his siblings flies over her head for a moment, her thoughts lingering on his declaration of a fight against her.

harbinger ... he called himself a harbinger, which she admittedly has never really heard of before. granted, she's never studied any specific history about snezhnaya, and from the looks of it, it seems that ajax is quite familiar with the word. but it sounds so ... ominous, in a way.

is that his occupation? he sounds just as shady and sketch as his current counterpart. ]

... You've been saying a lot of things he's said, actually.

[ things that seem to struck a chord in her, settle heavily and deeply in her chest and squeeze her heart painfully, every time. and he's using it on her even now.

how unfair.

til we meet again ... now why did those words strike her harder than everything else he's said? it's a question she asks when the scene fades and returns to the marsh, her gaze trained on the white scarf floating behind her counterpart's retreating back. ]

What's ... a Harbinger?

[As the vision fades, he watches them go their separate ways. Childe, presumably back to an office or somewhere else in the bank, and Lumine, leaving the bank. His heart is pounding, something he hadn't noticed while viewing the vision, confused as to why this time they had watched it instead of living it like the last one.

He barely realizes she's asked him a question, focused on the fact that Childe has confirmed that he's from Snezhnaya too. There's so much about that that bothers him. His siblings have the same names, the only difference is that Childe is Childe and he's Ajax. Is that his actual name? What is going on...]

...What? Oh...sorry. I was lost in thought for a moment there.

[He rubs his head, thinking.]

I remember reading that Childe was some sort of general in the military when he was alive. But now that I think about it, his title was Harbinger, so I'm guessing that's what a Harbinger is. One of the most powerful people in Snezhnaya, widely feared for his battle prowess.

[He shrugs- that's all he has, right now.]

I didn't have too much time to look deeply into it, but that's the little I gleaned from a few historical websites. I think the paludamentum across his chest suggests that's true. That garb was very much militaristic, don't you think?

[ a general in the military, someone powerful, feared by the people—honestly, what did this other lumine find attractive in that? unless it was all about the power he held, which she supposes is a lot if such a person is influential in snezhnaya. ]

Mm, I don't know. I think it looks very try hard.

[ the open shirt, the small window near his hip, not to mention that long red scarf. lumine admittedly didn't notice those things the first time around when her counterpart shoved him into the marsh, but then, now that she thinks about it ... aren't their styles too similar, too?

she glances sideways at ajax, wrinkling her nose as her eyes narrow just a bit.

in any case, this vision was certainly a waste of her time. there was no answer to any of questions whatsoever, other than the fact that she was able to confirm that she really does look like the girl in his dreams, to put it literally. not very surprising, but it's not very comforting either. and this entire walk to the bridge produced nothing substantial other than ajax practically parroting this childe person has been saying. ]

Anyway, happy with what you've learned?

[Ajax folds his arms, looking back at her. He's not sure why, but he's a little offended for the Harbinger, insulting his outfit like that. He thought it was cool, it's something he'd wear himself if he found himself in a setting like that.]

I am. It's given me much food for thought. By the way, [he begins,] don't you want to know about what I learned about your doppleganger too? You know she has history records too.

[He raises an eyebrow at her. Lumine has been suspiciously quiet about learning about her own counterpart. Whether or not it's because she doesn't want to seem interested around him, or if she really doesn't care, or if she doesn't want to learn...well, he supposes he'll find out.]

[ it doesn't surprise lumine if he's offended by it. considering the way he dresses and how he looks so much like the guy, she supposes her comment has hit a nerve somewhere sensitive. his ego, probably.

at his question, however, she turns away from the bridge and from him and back towards wangshuu inn. she doesn't see any point in answering that question and indulging his curiosity (and hers really, but that's beside the point), not when they've agreed that she will no longer get involved after this little trip. ]

I'm sure she does, [ lumine replies dismissively, waving her hand in the air as she starts to walk away. ] But it's not really my business anymore.

[ right? right. she agreed to walk away from this, even if her desire to know more remains unsatisfied. it just isn't worth all the trouble, all the confusing feelings that's clearly not hers, all the conflicting thoughts she's been having. ]

Suit yourself...

[He watches her go, doesn't reach out to stop her, and won't look away if she turns around to glance backwards. He watches until she's gone, sighing and returning his gaze to Dragonspine, wondering what it all meant. Perhaps Childe and Lumine only appeared to look like them, since they were the victims of the visions, but he still can't figure out the discrepancy in his name versus the Harbinger's.

It really was a beautiful view. He too, feels like he wouldn't ever get sick of it, if he could see the full beauty that they saw back then. Ajax's hands grip the rail once again, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath just as his counterpart had so long ago...he'll figure this out. He has to.

He walks back to Wangshuu Inn, not having a place to stay for the night. It's simple enough to get a room, and he collapses into bed, exhausted from the day. It's not long before he finds himself dozing off, eyes fluttering shut as he lies on the bed.

The next moment, he's still in bed, but it's somewhere else. A warmth is pressed up against his bare skin, familiar and welcome. Childe nuzzles up against Lumine, his arm draped over her side as they lie together, still awake in his apartment kept by the Fatui for him under the Northland Bank in Liyue. He plants a few kisses to her back, taking in her scent, as if this were the last chance he'd have for a while.]

So you're leaving tomorrow, comrade? The Hydro Archon is known for her love of the courtroom, embodying justice. Careful where you tread there, for the last thing you'll want is to find yourself in the annals of Fontaine's legal system.

[He lets his head rest in the crook of her neck, sighing. He'll miss her, since he won't be able to accompany her to Fontaine. And he won't hide his feelings, of course- he's never been one to do that.]

[ lumine's not as quick to fall asleep, even with the comfortable bed offered to her by the inn. there's that simmering regret inside of her after leaving the bridge, wondering if she's done the right thing by walking away from this. and yet, a part of her stubbornly insists that she did, that she doesn't have time to deal with this. that she has a life to live, an entire future ahead of her.

what's the point in looking back, in trying to make sense with something that seems to have happened a long time ago, involving someone else? because she refuses to think that that's her.

it can't be ...

she doesn't know, then, when she's finally fallen asleep. but she does remember stirring from a soft, familiar voice murmured against her neck, lips trailing kisses along her skin. she shivers from ticklish sensation as her fingers slip in between his on her waist, curling gently into his palm. ]

You make it sound like I look for trouble in every nation I go to ...

[ pls, on the contrary, she's the one getting roped into their respective troubles instead.

lumine closes her eyes when she feels him bury himself against her neck, his hair and breath tickling her skin further. ]

You can come with me. I'm sure Paimon wouldn't mind a tagalong as rich as you.

I wish I could.

[He replies sadly, breath soft and slow as he allows himself the comfort of her presence. Though, he does find humor in her statement, about looking for trouble- he knows very well that trouble finds her, very easily. And with every nation she visits, it seems to come more and more easily to her than the last. He's really not sure how she manages it.]

I'd buy Paimon all the food in the world if she so wished had I the opportunity to leave my duties and accompany you both. But duty calls, and I must remain here until my next orders are issued. The Tsaritsa's will is as solid as the permafrost, and bends for no man.

[He squeezes her hand, pressing one last kiss to her back before settling on the pillow once again.]

There isn't anything more I would like in the world than to go with you. Please forgive me.

[ ah, of course. the tsaritsa.

sometimes lumine wonders if she's vying for attention against someone who has established herself and is far more deeply rooted in his heart than she is. not that she holds it against childe; after all, his archon has always been someone he's respected and revered for so much of his life. while she's only showed up because she had to show up.

she tugs his hand until his arm is wrapped around her waist and he's pressed close against her back once more. ]

Just quit, then. Surely, your Tsaritsa can deal with it.

[ she's an archon, after all. someone else can take his place as a harbinger. she won't have difficulties looking for one. ]

[The tug of his hand makes his heart flutter, his muscles relaxing completely and sighing with content. A small smile plays on his lips, both amused and sad, wishing he could give her what she wants from him. To quit the Fatui, and join her on her travels across Teyvat.]

I'm afraid I have to play my part for a while longer. Though the Tsaritsa and the Fatui could easily continue without one of their Harbingers, I still gain an advantage staying for the time being. I never planned on staying with the Fatui anyway, not if I'm to achieve my goals. But please, bear with me for now, until that time.

[He presses into her more, wrapping his arm more tight around her. It's not an easy subject to talk about with her, he knows.]

Because I can still use the Fatui's resources to help find your brother, too. Having eyes and ears all over the continent doesn't hurt. [He sighs heavily.]

We'll find him, Lumine.

[ she's already found him, though. so many times in so many places, but each and every time, aether remains distant. always reminding her of what he needs to do, what she needs to do. not that childe knows of this, anyway.

lumine shifts and turns around his arms, burying herself against him instead, her face pressed into his chest. ]

I don't need the Fatui to find Aether, [ she says quietly, closing her eyes. she realises that this is probably revealing too much of what she knows about her brother's whereabouts, but knowing childe, he'll probably brush it off as her own self-assurance. ]

You just want to stay because you haven't fought everyone there yet.

[ seriously, of all the things to motivate him to stay with the fatui. ]

Hey, c'mon...

[Childe buries his face in her hair, the fresh scent of shampoo still in it from a shower, letting his hand run through the strands to further then trail down her side before resting on the small of her back. The night would end all too soon, and who knows when he'd get to see her again after that.]

I don't need to be Fatui to fight the other Harbingers if I so wished. It would be child's play to find them and face them myself.

[But he can't reveal much more to her otherwise. He wants to see the Tsaritsa's dreams fulfilled, his faith in her unshakable. It was a precarious line they walked, being lovers despite standing on opposite sides of a war that even the people of Teyvat didn't realize was happening. His hand leaves her back, index finger finding the bottom of her chin and pressing upward on it to get her to look at him, pulling his head back slightly.]

I do wish you'd let me help, but, I'll continue to respect your wishes- I only hope that you are reunited with Aether sooner rather than later. I know how much he means to you.

[ lumine wonders if his sentiment will stay the same once he learns who her brother truly is. will his hope for a happy reunion between the twins endure, or will it fizzle into something else when he realises how much she's kept from him (and everyone else who's called her a friend, to be fair)?

perhaps that's why she feels a little inclined to insist to stretch out this journey with him as much as she can. because lumine's more than aware of how tenuous this relationship is. ]

You realise my brother and I will leave once we're reunited, right? And then, you'll never see me again.

[ she smiles smugly at him, curious as to how he'll even react to that. ]

Never, eh? How are you so sure I won't just tag along?

[He cranes his head downward now, capturing her lips with his, deep and long to slowly turn her mind into mush so she doesn't try to prolong this kind of conversation. It's not a situation he wants to think about anyway, because the idea of losing the sight of her eyes in his life was enough to make him want to rip his heart right out of his chest.]

Why don't we just concentrate on having each other for tonight, instead of future days who's events are still undecided.

[His hand snakes down into her underwear, fingers teasing at the edge of her folds.]

One last time before you go.

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