insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

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i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[Fontaine: The technological hub of Teyvat.

For as long as anyone can remember, the country of Fontaine has always been the innovative center for the continent. High speed rail was originated here, and now spans across the entirety of Teyvat and beyond. High rises and skyscrapers pepper the skyline, modern Victorian buildings supporting a gear-like aesthetic from an era gone by. A thousand years ago, it was a much different place, but now it thrives with the bright lights and bustle of its people. One can hear the occasional street performer playing for cash, as businessmen and tourists alike walk down narrow cobblestone streets. People are buried in their phones, some take pictures as they gawk at the sights of the city, but one young man in particular walks languidly down the street, enjoying the life around him. He's in no hurry to get where he's going, as he has plenty of time to get there, noting a deli across the street from where he is now that he'll have to try.

Unfortunately, he is on business, so that'll have to wait.

Never being one to be dressed completely formal, he wears a comfortable pair of slacks and dress shoes, with a collared shirt that isn't buttoned up all the way under a grey vest. Various pieces of metal are woven into the vest, notably a crest on his right shoulder with a chain attached to it that hangs under his arm to the back. On his belt lies a Vision, glowing blue with hydro. The young man always seems friendly and easy going, but what lies underneath is something that not many are allowed to know- the heir to the family business of a company who develops tech for various products is also the right hand man of the mafia that runs the city.

And, their true business behind the scenes; creating Delusions to sell on the black market.

Today is a day where some investigating has to be done, and he's headed to see an old friend of his, from university. One that he's sure can help him with this problem he has. Entering the building, he swings in quietly to give a polite wave and a smile to the only person there.

Someone who looked exactly like their brother, whom he can only assume is the twin sister he'd yet to meet that he'd heard about.]

Hello, I was wondering if Aether was in today? I had a...business proposal for him, and I'm sure that he'd love to hear it. Unless of course, you might be of assistance instead.

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Hahaha, right to the point, then.

[He happily takes a bite out of his wrap now, chewing thoughtfully on it. Goodness, that poor little tomato. What did it do to her?]

I think we belong together.

[Ajax speaks earnestly, with confidence- because everything leading up to this point, it feels almost as if all they've done is avoid putting titles or labels on what they were. He at least, is sure that what he feels is his own feelings for her, and maybe it's time to stop pretending like it isn't there.]

And I want to know what you think about that. So what do you say?

[ lumine can't sigh heavily nor roll her eyes hard enough at the risk of losing oxygen or her eyeballs falling out.

truth be told, there's a part of her that expected this turn in the conversation, realising her mistake of asking him outright. and then, there's another part of her that somehow hoped he wouldn't be too shameless in saying this out loud. and despite lumine's heart skipping a beat for a split second, her exasperation reigned over in the end. ]

I think you're rushing through this without thinking.

[ she looks up from her plate at him, her expression a mix of disbelief and chagrin. it isn't that she doesn't get what he's saying, but: ]

Especially when you're starting to merge with Childe.

Mmmmm, I have considered the pros and cons of this. All of which have to do with Celestia hunting us.

[And not anything else, really. Because to him, their counterparts won't hinder this at all. If anything, the more he merges, the more strongly he feels for her. And.

She hasn't said once that she didn't care about him, did she?]

But I don't see how my slow merger with him makes a difference. Are you trying to say that you still believe that my feelings may not be my own?

[ once again, lumine pauses from taking a bite of her makeshift salad, lowering her fork back to the plate. at this rate, she'll go about her day without eating again, something she's starting to get used to again. ]

No, but how do you know where his feelings for Lumine end and yours begin? I see the changes in you every day, changes that reflect him.

[ his eyes, his mannerisms, even the way he sometimes laughs or the way his expression shifts. she's seen childe through the eyes of her counterpart, and there are moments when she wonders if she's seeing him in the flesh. ]

Maybe Aether hasn't noticed it, but I have.

[ she doesn't hate it and there's a part of her that's already accepted its inevitability, but her feelings of discomfort has yet to go away. ]

I know what you mean. I've noticed them too, but what he said the other day really struck a chord with me.

[A lot of things made sense once Childe spoke to Lumine that day, and Ajax is sure that was a big part of the reason why she wouldn't speak to him for so long. But it's still a truth that has tied nearly everything together for him.]

If he and I are truly the same person, then it's not that his feelings end and mine begin somewhere. It's only that I've simply fallen in love with you all over again.

[That's a sappy thing to say, and he knows it. He knows how it sounds. But it's a simple explanation, and would explain why he'd felt drawn to her even before Childe joined him. Not that Ajax feels like he needs an explanation for it- he knows himself, and there's something about those words that ring true for him. Though whether she'll accept it is a different story.]

[ if there's anything that he's said so far that's rendered her speechless, it's this. really, who else could say this with a straight face other than him?

the absurdity of his words and the lack of shame is just appalling to her, so much so that she's impressed that he hasn't exploded yet from mortification. instead, he seems to have passed it onto her, heat rising up her cheeks. lumine shakes her head, once more looking back down on her plate in an attempt to stamp down her embarrassment. ]

And what did you fall for, exactly?

[ this is probably a grave that she shouldn't be digging, and yet here she is. because she doesn't understand this at all. ]

Was it me ignoring you more than half the time? Or was it all of my rejections of your intentions and plans? Or was it all of our arguments and disagreements? Make it make sense, Ajax.

Hahaha! What if all of those things were a part of it?

[He looks back at her with amusement, eyes practically twinkling at her embarrassment. For a moment, he thinks that she really doesn't understand him or how love works at all- it doesn't have to make sense, sometimes it makes no sense, but what he does know is that he sees a lot in her that he can't help but be attracted to.]

Besides. What about the other half when you weren't ignoring me? When you accepted the flower I gave you at Windblume and the wonderful night out we had then? Or perhaps when we went out to dinner and ended up back at your apartment, and I ended up staying the night with you? Even then, being with you that night felt...right. Just to name a few things.

So you might not be able to believe it, but I find all of who you are attractive. Even the things you seem to deem as negative. Surely, I thought by now I've proven to you that you mean the world to me. You make me happy, arguments, disagreements and all.

[He folds his arms over his chest and sits back a little in the chair expectantly. As if he's waiting to hear from her how she thinks his feelings are invalid, when he knows perfectly well that the aren't.]

[ she says nothing in response to all of that, simply staring at him with a flat expression on her face. her mortification has momentarily dissipated, but it's left traces of heat on her skin anyway, her cheeks still a flushed colour. but lumine refuses to acknowledge her own body's reactions, deciding that they're a betrayal and nothing else. ]

I'm somehow not surprised you thrive in masochism.

[ considering the ups and downs of all of their interactions so far. this relationship of theirs, whatever they'd call it, is too volatile, too unpredictable with a tendency to hurt the both of them.

lumine gets up from her chair and picks up her plate, her appetite gone. ]

Anyway, my sentiment still stands. I don't want to say your feelings are wrong, but you should probably rethink them. Simply because I care about you doesn't mean it goes any deeper than that.

Hahaha, well, I'm flattered that you feel comfortable enough with me to tell me that.

[Months ago, she never wanted to see his face again. So Ajax won't sneeze at her admission, though he wonders if she realizes that it's given him even more motivation to win her over. It would take time, and hopefully he doesn't die beforehand, but he's positive he'll be able to get her to come around.]

But- [he begins as he gets up from the table, following behind her to the sink and waits until the plate is set down to wrap his arms around her waist.]

-I think you should also consider more what I've said today. Because do you truly want me out of your life when the dust settles?

[But Ajax doesn't want to know what her snap answer would be and won't let her answer the question anyway, bringing a hand up as he says it to turn her head just so, abusing the height difference between the two of them to lean over to take her into a kiss. It's simple, almost innocent in nature as if Ajax were capable of such a sentiment- but he kisses her in a way to convey love, without the lust and want that often accompanies their kisses in the past. The same kind of togetherness that they'd shared in his bed the night before when he'd buried himself in her, just thankful to be alive and with her.

When he breaks, Ajax only smiles at her and moves back to the table to finish his food, sitting down with his back to her to avoid the glare he assumes is being levied at him.]

[ the question gets him a look from her, because how audacious is he to ask her that? but lumine doesn't even get to respond, whatever words she has in store for him dying on her tongue. she tries to squirm out of his grasp, feeling like she's being swept away so she wouldn't have a say in it.

when he finally pulls away, her cheeks are pink once more, breathless and annoyed. the smile he wears doesn't help either, and there's that temptation to try and hit him in the face for looking so self-satisfied. ]

You ...

[ lumine watches as he walks back to his chair, disbelief written all over her face. her hand moves on its own, grabbing a handful of cherry tomatoes and tossing it at the back of his head before she storms out of the kitchen. ]

Hey-! Hahaha!

[He feels all the little tomatoes hit him in the head, the vegetables falling to the floor almost silently. Ajax turns, quickly picks one up, takes aim and-

And throws it right at the back of her head. It plinks off of her, a direct hit right to the center of her head, dropping to the floor and rolling only a few inches away from her.

Ajax's arms lay across the back of the chair, his face amused, eyes bright as he tries to stifle a laugh.]

[ lumine stops in her tracks and for one long moment, she debates on simply letting this go. it's not worth it, ajax is the only one who'll enjoy any form of retaliation from her, she's exhausted after everything earlier that day. but she decides that she won't be able to sleep unless she responds in kind.

she walks back to the sink where her plate is, grabbing it and throwing its contents at ajax's head, dressing and all. ]

That's for throwing that tomato back at me.

[ if he thinks she's just going to walk away and let this go, he's mistaken. if anything, he's lucky that she didn't decide to throw a meteor at his head; then again, she does quite like this house, even if it doesn't belong to her. ]

[Uh oh. When she goes and grabs the plate that has the remainder of her salad on it, he gets out of the chair immediately. There's only two things that happen here, and he's not letting her break that on his head. But thankfully the one that would actually hurt isn't the option she picks.]

Lumi-!

[The salad and the dressing go right into his face, his hands barely coming up in time to at least block some of it. He can feel the liquid dripping down his face onto his shirt, and some of the lettuce has stuck to the bare skin from leaving it unbuttoned.

But the only thing that serves to accomplish is make him laugh again, covered in dressing and various other vegetables that have stuck to him. Grinning, he comes right at her, using his long legs to close the distance quickly.]

Com'ere, you rascal!

[Grabbing her shoulders so she can't get away from him, he rubs his cheek all over hers- smearing the dressing on her face.]

Edited 2022-07-24 15:13 (UTC)

[ the shriek she lets out is almost unworldly as lumine tries to avoid his hand, circling the kitchen to sidestep him. but ajax quickly catches her, rooting her in place as he rubs his cheek on hers. she lets out another yell in an attempt to push him off of her, smearing the dressing further on her skin. ]

Ajax, stop—

[ she shoves him off of her, taking a few steps back and wiping the mess on her face with the back of her hand. a bit of it starts to drip from her cheek to her dress, staining the white fabric.

she'll have to change into something clean again. ]

You idiot.

Haha, sorry, [he says, genuinely apologetic but still amused that some of it has dripped down to her dress. He can probably get that out, and it'll be good as new.

Ajax grabs some paper towels from the counter, wiping his own face and chest off, his own shirt having become a casualty in this tiny food fight they've had. He rips off some and gives them to her, proudly gazing down at his work.]

Just throw it in the basket and I'll get it washed right away. You know, [he begins to think aloud,] you've got pretty good aim even with a plate of salad, comrade.

[ she reluctantly accepts the paper towel, wiping the rest of the dressing off of her. the kitchen is a complete mess, unsurprisingly, but she's letting ajax clean up that one. this is his fault in the first place, after all. ]

Stop calling me that.

[ comrade is what childe calls the traveler, after all, and it's frustrating as it is to see the changes happening in ajax. and while this isn't exactly the first time he's called her that, it somehow grates on her nerves more. ]

I have a name, you know.

[Ajax hadn't realized how easily it had slipped from his mouth, but at the same time he'll let it roll off his back for the moment. It's a process that cannot be stopped, only slowed down, is what he said- and he feels that reality even more in this moment.

But it doesn't come across as so terrible. That if this is what it's like to merge, small little things like calling her comrade or enjoying battle even more than he used to, then perhaps he'd been frightened of something that wasn't that scary to begin with.]

Sorry, [he apologizes again, grabbing a broom out of a nearby closet and sweeping the salad and scattered tomatoes back up, and using more paper towels to get the dressing off the floor.]

You wouldn't mind if I call you Lumi then instead, would you?

[A substitute instead of falling into comrade, or anything else. And, he finds it cute.]

[ that nickname again.

lumine pauses for a moment before she resumes her clean-up, grabbing another piece of paper towel to wipe the dressing from a lock of hair. she seems to chew on that request while she's silently washing her hair in the sink, sniffing it gingerly. once satisfied, she turns to ajax. ]

I do mind.

[ lumi is a nickname used by her brother and a handful of people who were intimate or close to her. despite having slept together, she doesn't think ajax qualifies as that just yet. ]

So just call me by name as you normally do.

Haha, alright. Lumine it is then.

[He'll have to come up with some cute Snezhnayan names for her instead, something uniquely his. But that will come a different day, because for right now he'll focus on making the kitchen look like they didn't just have a small food fight.

The broom is put away, satisfied for now with the kitchen. There wasn't enough to really warrant a mop, but he makes a note to get some kind of microfiber floor mop so they don't have to get a whole bucket out for a small job like this.]

Come, let's get your dress washed, so I can get the laundry started before Aether comes back.

[Ajax begins to stride out of the kitchen, heading to her bedroom, unbuttoning his own shirt that's covered in dressing. Eh, it was worth it.]

You should wash them in the apartment so it's less noticeable.

[ lumine's in the process of tugging her own clothes, wrinkling her nose at the permeating smell of vinegar and whatever else he's put in it, trailing after ajax to the bedroom. after all, they've left the laundry basket in there along with the bedsheets they've managed to ruin, thanks to ajax being unable to keep it in his pants. the moment she steps inside the room, she pulls the dress over her head and tosses it into the basket, padding over to the dresser in just her underwear.

what lumine doesn't realise, however, her attention occupied by annoyance and dismay and the fact that he's already stripping even before they get to the bedroom is zhongli and aether's presence in the doorway, the latter's golden eyes narrowed as he follows their trek to his shared bedroom with lumine. of course, the ex-archon says nothing, simply walks over to the living room to take a seat, while the older twin storm towards the bedroom.

aether slides open the door with a loud thud, looking in dismay at his shirtless friend and almost-naked sister. lumine immediately stands up with a shriek, covering herself with the first dress she grabs from the dresser. ]

Ae! Knock next time!

[ really? in my bedroom, the both of you? ]

[Ajax doesn't see Aether and Zhongli in the house, having been looking down as he unbuttoned his shirt as he walked right into the bedroom. The shirt is thrown into the basket, picking it up as Lumine tosses the dress into it. His head turns sharply at the thud of the door, eyes wide with surprise as Lumine shrieks and covers herself.

Well, this is bad.

The man decides, in that moment, to just be straightforward with Aether, blinking once at him before cautiously beginning what he'll say to cover for the both of them as best as possible.]

Hey, calm down. Lumine's salad took an unfortunate spill all over us. If you don't believe me, you can look in the trash in the kitchen. I swept it up a few minutes ago, and since it was my fault, I told her I'd take care of the laundry before both my shirt and her dress get stained.

[Ajax starts to walk towards the doorway, using a free hand to shoo Aether out of the room so his sister can put on a new dress in peace.]

C'mon, let her get changed.

[ wha—

aether has a lot of questions, starting with why is ajax in their bedroom and why is it his fault that lumine's salad spilled, followed by why is the laundry basket in their room in the first place. but he doesn't even get to ask them, ushered out of his own bedroom with the door shut in his face. how dare that ginger!

unable to do anything, aether storms back to the living room to join zhongli, huffing and folding his arms across his chest, his gaze burning a hole at the closed door to the bedroom.

they have to get out of there soon.

lumine, on the other hand, hastily puts on another dress, smoothing it over her body. this is what she's been worried about, aether getting back home. at the very least, they've managed to clean things up, but she still didn't think he'd be back so early. ]

Why aren't you heading to your room to get a shirt, Ajax? [ she asks with a groan, turning towards the mirror in the room to make herself presentable. ] Don't tell me you're planning to walk around shirtless in the house.

[He sighs with relief as Aether gets pushed out of the room, he'll have to think of something else to try to calm his friend down while avoiding the topic of sex in their bed. He's sure he can navigate it, but it'll be difficult.]

Honestly speaking, I was going to go straight to the washing machine to get the clothes in there asap. I'm serious that I don't want them to get stained.

[And wouldn't it be slightly more suspicious if he didn't at this point?]

Anyway, it's not against the rules for me to walk around without a shirt. If Aether's bothered by it, then that's his own problem. I'll happily tell him my workout routine.

[Ajax opens the sliding door to step out, to head right to the washing machine as promised, closing the door behind him. He looks into the living room to see the two men, nodding at Zhongli in acknowledgement before he makes his way to where the washing machine is.]

[ cue eyeroll from lumine. ]

Isn't it an unspoken rule to have some modicum of shame?

[ not that ajax has ever had some semblance of shame since she's met him. either it's not something he's born with, naturally shameless and all, or he just doesn't see the point in having it. lumine can't tell which is worse, truth be told.

she emerges from the bedroom minutes later after he does, her gaze flickering towards the place where the washing machine is and then towards aether, who's staring at her flatly. his folded arms tell her enough of his mood, and she's not about to aggravate him further. especially when he probably hasn't had any sleep yet. ]

Did you eat? Ajax made salad with chicken, [ she asks him as she takes a seat on one of the armchairs. ] You can then nap afterwards. I hear you haven't slept yet ...

[ lumi. aether gestures at her neck, his lips thinning. are you seriously thinking you can hide things from me?

ugh, ajax. he and his hickeys. ]

[Ajax throws everything in the wash, before heading upstairs to find a new button up to throw on. He's not gone long, before he pads back downstairs and into the living room, prepared for either a scolding or a lecture or whatever kind of stream of angry consciousness Aether has prepared for him. He hopes Lumine hasn't broken and just spilled the beans entirely- hopefully he'll have something to work with here to keep him as satiated as possible.

Ajax takes a seat in a chair near Zhongli, greeting him first so as to not be too terribly rude. He still needs to speak with him, and the two men exchange a few words about taking a walk later to speak about things and "catch up" as Zhongli puts it before Ajax turns towards Aether and Lumine, the former of which is still scolding his sister.]

Aether, c'mon, let up on her, [Ajax says with a bored look on his face, trying to spare Lumine any more pain than she has to go through. He'd caught snippets of their conversation, sounds like Aether figured out more than he's comfortable with.]

If you want to be mad at someone, come over here and be mad at me.

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