insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[The god strides forward, lifting Ajax from the floor by his neck once more, the man helpless to stop him as he gasps for air. He instantly feels weaker in his grasp, teeth gritting as he tries to pry the other's hand off his neck as he's lifted, looking down into cold grey eyes that have a malicious glint to them.

The god turns sideways, just to make sure Lumine has a good view of Ajax, glancing over to her with a grin on his face.

Say goodbye to him.

His hand comes up, and he thrusts it right into Ajax's chest, that same blue enveloping the hole that seems to open up at the god's command. Slowly, a white ghastly form seems to be withdrawn from his chest as the other grips a hold of something and pulls it out, Ajax's screams echoing in the room as the god makes sure it's as painful as possible. The form is something familiar, the likeness of Childe emerging from Ajax's body, eyes closed as the god pulls him out completely.

It's then that Ajax stops screaming, his eyes losing any traces of life that they once had, his body going limp. The god simply tosses his body towards Lumine, and Ajax rolls a few times before coming to land on his side, body crumpled with no signs of life.

The soul that's emerged seems to wake, and looks over to Lumine, seeing the dead body on the floor, but doesn't seem to be able to move.]

Lumine...hel- AHHHHHHHHH!

[The god laughs, the blue aura of his arms enveloping Childe, sending a power through him that continues the torture he means to put upon him and, in turn, Lumine.

What's this? Two consciousnesses inside of one soul, how perfect. I'll keep you both as pets and torture you for eternity!]

[ her blood freezes in her veins as lumine watches the entire spectacle in horror, rooted in place. she doesn't know what's going on, doesn't understand what's happening, but ajax's screams seem to wake something up within her. but even before she can reach the god, now holding onto what looks like a shadowy form of childe, it tosses his body towards her, lumine leaping forward to catch it.

he's heavier than her, however, and she finds herself crashing onto the floor with his unmoving body, her arms wrapped around him. ]

Ajax! Ajax!

[ she can feel a build-up of emotions inside of her, her chest squeezing tightly and blood pounding in her ears. his skin is starting to get cold against her touch, the expression on his face slack and blank. lifeless. dead.

when lumine finally looks up once more, her eyes widen at the sight of another of ajax's forms screaming in pain. no, that's not just ajax, is it? she squeezes her eyes shut when she feels a sharp pain lance through her head, more screams filling her ears.

except it's not childe's voice that she hears, but— ]

What did you do to him? [ her eyes seem to flash brightly, more gold than amber. ] My brother and I should've finished you when we had the chance.

[Another jolt of power gets sent through the soul of the two men, Childe's ghastly and ethereal scream echoing throughout the room again. This god seems to enjoy it, seems to revel in his pain. A small crystal focus appears in his hand, holding it up to the spirit held tight in his grasp.

And now you'll regret it, little star. I'd love to sit here and torture the Harbinger for a while longer, but I've got you to deal with. Don't worry, I've got a home prepared for him...well, them, isn't it? How foolish, now they'll both suffer. As for that thing, don't fret- he's already dead.

Childe stares at the crystal focus, his eyes widening, fear filling him. If he goes in there, he's probably not coming back out. Though, he recognizes the change in Lumine, and he knows his comrade has come out in this crucial moment. He laughs, his voice strained, trying to distract the god from doing the deed so Lumine has a good shot at him.]

Oh, you're in trouble now. It's like the old Snezhnayan saying goes, "The lady bears a crust of rage as the ground bears hardened frost in the morning. Some days, it melts with warm persuasion, but on others, it lingers, and all is hollow ere its cold fury."

Don't say I didn't warn- Ngghhhhhhaaaaahhhhh!!!!

[The god lances more power through the spirit, gripping the ghostly neck of the Harbinger even tighter as he loses his temper with Childe's sassy mouth, his attention momentarily moved to silence him.]

Edited 2022-07-17 00:50 (UTC)

[ lumine can feel a strong swirl of emotions within her, conflict brewing like storm clouds in the horizon. but she quickly shushes the rage of her current self, shutting her down like she had done so many times to her. she'll relinquish her body back to her, but only after she's certain that childe's been saved. after all, ajax too is in trouble.

with the god distracted by childe's talkative mouth, lumine moves. the cryo sword in her hand dissipates, summoning instead a silver and gold blade, still well-balanced in her hand after all these years. but her current body is weak, inexperienced, feeling it shudder from overexertion as lumine sprints up to the god.

she has to finish this right away then, before this body gives in.

her blade, glittering like starlight, is aimed towards the god's arm, the one still holding childe, slicing through it like it's made of butter. a howl tears through the building, its walls vibrating, as ichor flows out of its wound, dropping childe back to the floor. ]

Don't worry, I can still finish you off even without Aether.

[ she practically springs from the ground, sword brandished towards the god to slash at it. ]

[The spirit falls to the floor, finding it strange that he feels no pain when he hits it. The sensation of being a spirit is unlike how they'd met with the two in Snezhnaya, having only been a fragment before, but now...it's a strange rooted connection he has to the mortal plane. And the object of which is lying in a crumpled heap on the floor.

But first things first, he has to get to his body, before it shuts down completely and can't come back even with the soul inside of it once more. He feels weak, having been somehow injured even in this form, crawling towards his own dead body.

He hates that he can't take part of the battle that's started between Lumine and this god, but maybe if he gets there, he can join in too.

The god summons its own weapon, a claymore that clangs against Lumine's, snarling at her. Now with one arm, he has to choose between defending himself from her blade or discarding it to grab her. The weapon is thrown right at her, to do exactly that- make a grab for her to extract her soul before Childe can get to his body.

You'll pay for that.]

[ lumine parries the claymore thrown at her before she ducks to avoid the hand that tries to grab her. her sword comes up once more, slashing at it until it withdraws, clearly in defence and out of frustration that it can't reach her. she summons a geo contruct between childe and the god, its fury felt as she continues to evade it.

still, she can feel her own body shaking, barely able to withstand the immense pressure from the celestial being and the inhuman movements she's making. if she continues this for too long, it might break lumine's body.

despite her words earlier, she wishes her twin brother is here.

but it's fine, she tells herself firmly as she parries another blow from the god, coating her blade with electro and slashing an arc towards it. there will be healers, she'll be able to recover. childe, on the other hand—if they lose him, then they lose him and ajax together. lumine's not going to allow that. ]

Come, then. Make me pay.

[Gladly.

The assault from their foe continues, alternating between claymore and failed attempts to grab a hold of Lumine, though he realizes it may be too late if he continues to mess around with her.

Meanwhile, Childe manages to crawl over to Ajax's body, looking down at it in his own mild horror. There's something undeniably disturbing about looking down to your own, lifeless face, frozen in a scream as he was plucked right out of it. But the Harbinger knows he's got to pull himself together, quite literally in this case, taking a deep breath as he lets himself sink back into his body.

Ajax's eyes snap open, gasping for breath as he fills his lungs with oxygen, the sounds of the battle raging behind the geo construct seeming to grow more intense. He can hear Lumine facing off against him, the frustrated grunts of the god who she's managing to keep her own soul safe from, and keeping him from reaching Ajax on the other side. It's difficult, but he picks himself up off the ground, getting his bearings once more, before he runs straight at the geo construct. He doesn't have time to wait to recover.

The god takes a swing at the construct, trying to break it to keep the soul from reaching the body on the other side, when a voice is heard from above it-]

I can't let you two have all the fun. Don't forget about me!

[Ajax counters, the polearm in his hand being thrust forward, sinking it into the shoulder of the god, twisting it as hard as he can as he lands on the floor next to Lumine, grinning.]

Let's not let this one get away this time. They're the ones intruding into our lives, after all.

[It'll be fun, he thinks. Killing a god.]

[ lumine feels a sliver of panic spiking through her, her eyes wide when he goes for the geo construct. she whirls around, ready to cast another construct in its place, but she finds herself pinned in place in an attempt to parry that swing instead. any tendrils of fright and dread are quickly dismissed, however, when childe lands next to her, his polearm wounding the god's shoulder.

there's another howl of rage from the being, thwarted a second time around, the sound echoing in the hallway of the abandoned building. that's going to attract attention, no doubt, but then, lumine decides that there won't be a third time. ]

Keep it in place.

[ she runs her hand across the flat of her sword, the blade shining bright gold. the god thrashes against the polearm, trying to break free, its eyes widening at the sight of her sword.

i won't be the last. we'll keep hunting you and your ilk down! ]

I know, [ lumine replies flatly as she leaps at the god, thrusting her blade into its chest and piercing whatever core it has, the momentum pushing it down to the floor. she leans in, sinking her sword deeper. ] That's why you're not getting away.

[There's a small shockwave of power that radiates from the god, making Ajax's bones seems to clack together as Lumine buries her sword into the core of the god. Though he was in a suspended state back then, he remembers something similar when she'd killed the god back in Inazuma, though on a much smaller scale. His eyes widen, but he's reassured almost instantly- don't worry, she's got this.

The free hand of the god, despite impaled on his polearm comes up to slice Lumine clean through with his claymore, fighting through the pain. But Ajax is too fast, a blade appearing in his hand and cutting that arm off too, grinning maliciously back at the god. He screams in pain, hot fire in his eyes, cursing at Ajax.]

Sorry. If I had it my way, I'd play around with you a little more before finishing you off...but I don't want to step on any toes.

[He smiles, before his own blade joins with Lumine's piercing its core with as much strength as he can muster behind it, feeling something under the weapon crack with the combined pressure of both of their swords through it.

The god's body shudders violently, a calm smile on his face. If he's going down, he'll take them with him. But he says nothing, as cracks begin to form across his face and body, and Ajax's eyes widen with surprise. That's not the expression of a foe who's lost, and he grabs a hold of Lumine instinctively.

The sky seems to darken, before a moment of silence falls over the city landscape, until it's broken by an explosion that rocks the entirety of downtown. The entire top of the building seems to vaporize, and the foundation of the building itself shakes and shudders under the weight. People scream in the streets, running away from the wreckage that falls from ten stories high, concrete dust erupting downwards as the rest of the building falls. Glass shatters in every building around it without warning, the metropolis thrown into chaos while people try to survive.

Ajax's eyes open slowly, a hydro shield encasing them both, his ears ringing as they fall, wondering idly if they'd survive this. His mind is sluggish, the force of the explosion as the god died felt as if he'd gotten a concussion, and he tries to concentrate well enough to transform. But a light seems to shine down on them, and it's a familiar presence, one that calms him- and Ajax passes out.]

[ lumine knows what's coming next, and there's a part of her that wishes to let things end here. but she can't, because that would mean leaving aether behind, and he won't survive this ordeal if she dies. still, she doesn't know how they'll escape or survive this, especially when her and ajax's shields combined shattered under the explosion of the god, the both of them falling with the building's steel, concrete and glass debris.

her gaze flickers to ajax, face slack and eyes closed, before she closes her own eyes. she supposes that, at the very least, she's gotten to spend these last moments with him.

the next thing she realises, however, a familiar light envelops them and they're whisked away to an alleyway nearby the incident. lumine lands back on her feet, staggering and a little shaky, her ears still ringing from the explosion. right next to her is zhongli, an unconscious ajax in the ex-archon's arms.

looks like i was right on time. ]

You always were, [ she says with a sigh and a sheepish smile, peering at his current load. they both look like a mess, like they've just been through the abyss and back. ] ... Before we go back to the teapot, can I take a picture?

[ it doesn't really matter what zhongli's response is, but lumine's taking a shot anyway of ajax being princess-carried by the former geo archon. ]

[The next time he opens his eyes, Ajax finds himself in his own bed back in the teapot, his head pounding. The events of...how long ago was it? A day? A few hours? He's not sure how long he's been asleep, but everything felt so surreal. He'd pinch himself if his head didn't already hurt so badly, to make sure he wasn't dreaming, or if he were still alive.

He sits up, his body aching but overall, feels okay. His mind drifts back, reflecting on his time as a spirit. Was...that was it was like to be dead? He'd felt so light, the only weight was the power of the god that had been torturing him...and then he remembers how it had felt to have his own soul ripped out of him, and Ajax shudders at the thought. His body had shut down slowly, until his eyes had opened again only to find his dead body on the floor, the dread that had lanced through him...

He swings his legs over the side of the bed, shaking his head as he sits there on the side. He's alive now, and that's all that matters. Ajax notices now that there's a sleeping form in a chair next to his bed, the familiar gold of her locks visible in the low candlelight, and he chuckles quietly to himself. He was afraid she was still avoiding him, but he supposes after something like that, it changed her mind.

Ajax reaches out gingerly to put his hand on her leg, rubbing it gently as he calls for her softly.]

Lumine...hey. Lumine...

[ the trip back to the apartment and the teapot had been a quiet affair, save for a gentle reprimand and a few questions from zhongli. admittedly, lumine wasn't the one who addressed those, her counterpart relinquishing her body back to her only after she's made certain that ajax will be fine in his own bed. it was a bitter affair, really. after all, the control was forcibly wrenched out of her hands and she was made to watch everything, her voice muffled.

though she supposed that she does owe their lives to her. if it weren't for the traveler's love for childe, they might not have survived. still, she can't help but feel like the autonomy childe insisted they respected had bee shoved aside.

in any case, the entire ordeal has left her exhausted, the other lumine overexerting her body beyond its capacity. to the point that even aether is impressed that she's managed to come home in one piece. and while aether urged her to get some rest while he and zhongli talk about these incidents with celestia, lumine insisted on checking up on ajax, eventually dozing off in a seat next to his bed.

she stirs at the gentle touch on her knee, groaning at the soreness of her entire body. she really should've just gone to bed, lumine blearily thinks. but any thoughts of getting any more rest is briefly set aside at the sight of ajax awake and sitting up. ]

Ajax ... [ she feels relief flood her, audible in her voice as she calls his name, still recalling what he looked like lifeless in her arms ... lumine squeezes her eyes shut, trying her hardest to dismiss it. ] Should you be up? Zhongli said you still need your rest ...

[The warmth of his smile is accentuated by the soft glow of the lit candle next to the bed, procured by how relieved she sounded to see him alive and well. It seems that her counterpart has given control back to Lumine, making him wonder again exactly how long he'd been asleep in bed. His body feels heavy, but it doesn't stop him from scooting closer to her, also relieved to see that she was okay.

He squeezes her leg gently, to reassure that he was alright, his emotions beginning to swirl inside of him at the sight of her here next to him. His eyes betray him- he'd missed her, hating the time they'd been apart, even though they lived in the same house. Ajax can't express into words how happy is he to see her, banged up a little but still seemingly okay.]

I'm fine, no need to worry about me, [he says to dismiss any concern about him away.] Are you okay? How are you feeling? Were you hurt?

[He peppers her with questions, leaning forward towards her with eyes wide as he searches her own for hints or answers that she may not convey to him otherwise.]

[ lumine says nothing for a long while, her eyes searching his face for any hint of discomfort or pain. anything that would indicate that he still needs time to recover his strength. he may not be injured like the last time, but what happened to him with the god might've had some kind of effect on him. ]

I'm fine, just tired. [ understatement of the month, really. it feels like she'd run across the four islands in the teapot without stopping to rest or take a break.

her gaze flicker to the hand on her leg, letting a beat pass, before she takes it into hers. a part of her somehow expects it to be cold, wondering if she's having a nightmare of sorts. but it's solid in her fingers, his touch warm against her skin. ]

... I'm glad you're okay. I thought I ...

[ lost you, remains unspoken, caught in her throat. would she have forgiven herself if he had died before they made up? she probably wouldn't have. ]

[He can certainly understand her sentiment. His body seems to be doing alright, despite the time that it had stopped working, for lack of a better term, he supposes. But where she may be physically tired, he feels it in the core of his own soul, a tiredness that he can't quite explain. Perhaps it was Childe who needed to take a break, he thinks as he closes his eyes briefly to feel for the other's presence inside of him. It's harder to sense, but he doesn't know if that's because of the god...or if he's merged even farther.

Ajax slips his other hand under hers, enclosing her hand between both of his, letting the thumb of one run over her skin, thankful for the warmth of it. It's a grounding feeling, knowing that he really was alive and she really was here with him. He breathes out a heavy sigh as he looks down at their hands, before looking up again, giving her a tiny tug, inviting her to sit next to him.]

It's okay. I'm still here.

[He knows he owes it to their past counterparts for surviving the ordeal. Which is why he doesn't say anything to her for the moment about it, knowing that there was a non-zero chance she was really upset, but not dwelling on it for the time being.

All he really wants is for her to be with him now, so they can rest and relax together. He feels as if that's really what will help him recover.]

Come. [He tugs on her lightly again, urging her to sit.] Sit with me for a little bit.

[ there are still a few things she'd like to say to him before she'd allow him to pull her closer, things that she should've said earlier. things she might not have had a chance to say if she had lost him. but as usual, those things get lodged in her throat, painfully reminding her of their fight weeks ago. ]

Ajax ...

[ the second tug on her hand gets her to move closer, but lumine remains seated across him and not on the bed. her fingers shift in his hands, tangling with his. once again, she's thankful that he's still there, alive and well. ]

About what happened a few weeks ago, I ...

[ she was upset, she was angry. she had said something that she shouldn't have said. and yet she doesn't want to make excuses for her actions; after all, she said it because she wanted it to hurt. ]

I'm sorry.

[Ajax squeezes her hand, gladly letting her fingers interlace with his, letting out a deep breath seems to finally let go of all his stress and anxiety about what had happened between them. He's thankful he can let go of their fight, and all the terrible feelings that had accompanied it in the weeks to follow. He hated ignoring her, acting as if he hadn't cared about her.

The way his shoulders relax seems to take on that physical representation of the ease he feels, smiling sadly back at her, unable to hide his feelings. It had hurt, her words had done exactly what she intended them to do, but he doesn't want to dwell on it either.]

Apology accepted. I'm sorry too. I lost my temper a little back then, and I shouldn't have done that.

[Ajax looks back down at their hands, letting himself concentrate on that instead of their fight. It's in the past now, water under the bridge. All he'd like to do is move on, and look to the future rather than the past, just as he's always done with matters like this in his life.]

So, we're not fighting anymore?

[He says with hopeful eyes, wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms and forget about it.]

[ he honestly doesn't have to apologise to her. it was well within his rights to be upset at her, to lose his temper at her. and it wasn't as if she was being cooperative or allowing him to placate or comfort her in any way, and yet, she still lashed out at him.

it wouldn't surprise her either if that was the end of it. after all, that's not how they should've dealt with what's happening to them. and again, lumine refuses to make any excuses for her own responses. ]

I mean, we could still fight, [ she says with a shrug, her gaze lowering to their hands. ] If that's what you want, I'm easy enough to be convinced. I'm just ...

[ exhausted and tired of having so much frustration within her, and dumping it on other people, hurting them in the process. it's not what she wants at all. ]

I don't want this to linger between us.

Oh, stop that.

[He tugs on her again now, pulling her out of the chair to sit her down next to him, wrapping his arms around her as he brings her into him. He doesn't want to hear any of that, and refuses to give her the opportunity to think farther along that line of thought.]

The only kind of fighting I want to do with you is sparring, nothing more, [he says as he buries his face in her hair,] but even I know when to put that on hold.

[Having her in his arms only serves to remind him that he'd almost lost the chance to ever do this again, remembering how he'd gazed down at his own lifeless face, and he hugs her a little tighter. Ajax's eyes squeeze shut, and his breathing becomes a little shallower, trying to keep himself in check.]

Stay with me, please. For at least a while.

[ it doesn't seem like ajax is taking a no for an answer, cutting off her attempts to protest with another insistent tug. all lumine can do is bite her tongue and helplessly allow to pull her against him, her hands curling into his shirt. it feels like a lifetime since she's felt his warmth like this, their very last one an eternity ago even if she knows it's only been a month or so.

lumine tucks her head under his chin, saying nothing as he hugs her tighter. she can almost guess what he's thinking about, figure out what's going through his head. and he confirms it when she hears the quickening of his heartbeat, the sound of his breathing uneven. ]

... Okay, I won't go.

[ it's the least she could do to comfort him: to stay in his arms as he wanted, to allow him to embrace her if it means for him to be able to sleep better. ]

[That's exactly what he does, holds onto her like a lifeline, not daring to let go for fear that if he does, that cold would wash over him again like it had when he'd left his own body. Ajax does not cry, but rather focuses on the warmth from her, her own breathing, how she grips into his shirt. He sits with her for many long moments, until he finally feels his body begin to completely relax and his mind begins to clear.

It's not until then that he slowly releases his arms from around her, his breathing even and steady. Her presence is calming, and he still wishes for her to stay with him, though the hardest part of this whole ordeal for him seems to finally be over. He finds her hand again, taking it, unwilling to let her leave him.]

Thanks.

[Ajax offers a smile, indicating that he feels a little better, though sad undertones still line it in the creases at the corners of his lips.]

...How long was I asleep for?

[ there's something about his smile that she can't put a finger on, that she wants to erase from his expression or face. but since she can't do the latter, lumine simply pulls her hands from his grasp and cups his face. fingers mold easily against his cheek, familiar as always, and her thumbs trace away anything else underscoring his expression. any person, thing or what. ]

Almost a day.

[ it can't be helped, considering what was done to him. and it isn't as if the explosion in the aftermath of the god's death made things better either. ]

You had a concussion, and Zhongli said that god may have done something more when it pulled your soul out ... Are you sure you don't need more rest?

[Ajax finds himself unconsciously pressing his cheeks into her palms, his eyes closing with the comfort from the warmth of her hands and the knowledge that he'd been asleep for almost a day. He's not surprised, choosing to let her thumbs soften his expression, opening his eyes again to reveal something more calm and at ease rather than sad.]

Is it possible for your own soul to be exhausted?

[His hand comes up to lay atop of one of her own. If it weren't for her, he'd surely be...

Ajax breathes out another heavy sigh, pushing that thought away.]

I'm not really sure what happened. I can still feel him, but I noticed it's harder to sense him...

[And he doesn't know why. That will bother him in the days to come, until he's been able to fully rest.]

...Anyway, you might be right. You look exhausted too. Perhaps we both need some rest.

[But instead of asking her leave to let him sleep, he playfully wraps his arms around her middle, his eyes asking her to stay with him even longer.]

Edited 2022-07-18 02:17 (UTC)

We're not sure what happened, either. But Zhongli said he'll try to see if he can find out anything.

[ she tried to explain the phenomenon to zhongli, but even the former archon could only give her possible theories. after all, even if he took up the mantle of liyue's ruling archon, it didn't mean that he knew everything about the gods, especially their abilities and what they're capable of doing other than those they've witness a thousand years ago.

her thumb brushes against the curve of his cheek, an attempt to gently, slowly soothe them. to keep his mind off of the recent events. even though lumine knows how hard that's going to be. ]

I—

[ she pauses despite the arms around her waist, her eyes flickering to the half-open doorway to the room. again, it doesn't seem like he's taking no for an answer. ]

You won't be able to rest with me around.

On the contrary, [he protests, as he presses his forehead against hers, eyes closing yet again.]

I think I'd rest much better with you around. Last time, I was out in less than a few minutes.

[And that was a restful sleep if he ever had one. He hadn't even woke to her yelling at him to wake up, and Ajax is generally a light sleeper given his profession. He shifts a little to lean against her, his neediness obvious, ready to lie down with her in his arms and fall asleep again. Even now, he feels the weight of sleep on his eyelids, just as tired as she assumed he was.

His voice is a quiet murmur, wanting to coax her to give into his demands.]

Lie with me, [he whines softly, nuzzling her.] We can worry about everything else tomorrow.

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