insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[ lumine nearly jumps in surprise when she suddenly feels his presence behind her, his body pressed against her once more. it's a familiar gesture, his heat permeating through the fabric of the sheets, but something totally unwelcome and distracting that very moment when she's busy trying to gather her composure. that, and she can tell that he's trying to get her agitated again.

she takes a deep breath, keeping her eyes focused on the menu and pushing down any warmth from rising up her cheeks. ]

Of course, it wasn't because of you. [ self-centred much?? her entire world doesn't revolve around him, please. for him to make such assumptions— ] I just wanted to get out of bed and get something to eat.

[ she gives it one long beat before she glances up at him, lips pressed together. ]

I thought you're hungry, too.

I am.

[He answers quickly, letting himself lean down a little to let his head droop near hers, his other arm coming around her to point at the menu. He reads it, pretending like he's trying to consider what he wants off of it, knowing full well that she's probably getting a little flustered with him. It's the point, and it will always be really cute to him how she tries to fend him off.]

Can I have this? [He points to a wrap on the menu, something small and light for just waking up.] With a pickle? And some water.

[Ajax pointedly doesn't move away from her though once he's finished telling her what he wants, acting as innocent as he can about it.]

[ he could've easily told her this from a few feet away with his pants on. but clearly, ajax's here to annoy her so late in the day, rubbing her embarrassment in her face. lumine's not going to give him that satisfaction, though, letting out a huff and pretending she doesn't notice that he's leaned in closer as she reaches out for the phone and dials the number for the front desk.

it's really a good thing that she's sensible enough to wrap something around her. at least that would keep her own body from betraying her so openly, as it's wont to do when he's around. ]

Ajax, you're heavy, [ she grumbles after she finally puts the phone down, the receptionist cheerily saying goodbye. ] I need to go to the bathroom. Childe made a complete mess out of me.

[ and she needs to clean up!! make sure she's at least presentable when the food and/or aether arrives!! and also, take meds just in case!! honestly ... ]

[Ajax continues to drape over her as she orders, tempted to do something else to distract her while she's on the phone, but it's probably for the best that he doesn't. The huff is good enough, she can pretend all she likes while she makes the phone call, chuckling lightly when she finally hangs the phone up.]

Haha, sorry about that...

[If it were him, he would have used a condom.]

I...didn't realize he didn't know condoms were a thing, until recently...it's no wonder he didn't think to use one. Hey...ahhh...you're on birth control, right?

[He doesn't want a baby right now. Later, sure. Now? Nope.]

[ what a thing to ask her, omg! ]

Worried about child support looming over you in nine months?

[ then again, she also doesn't want a child at present. she has an entire life ahead of her, a career, a company that she's leading alongside with her twin brother and crazy gods wanting revenge on their counterparts. things are already complicated as they are; having a baby will make it even more batshit to deal with.

lumine squirms out of his arms, adjusting the sheet around her once more. just in case he managed to put it out of place with all his clinging. ]

Don't worry, I'm on birth control, so no surprise babies at your doorstep.

[He huffs at the mention of child support. One, because of course he can pay for it, and two, there's something in that statement that stings. He doesn't want to think about raising a child without her, if that were the case. It surprises him, so much that when she wriggles out of his arms, he barely notices.]

That's a relief, [his response sounding a little hollow,] I can't imagine what our lives would become if we brought a little bundle of joy into the world in our current situation...

[There's no way that could happen. His stress level would shoot through the roof while trying to fight gods and take care of a baby, all the while worrying when their enemies would use that against them.]

Anyway, go clean up. I'll check to see if Aether is here.

[ it would be a mess, no doubt. all the anxiety they'll have to deal with on top of everything else, ensuring the safety and security of the baby—she can't imagine it at all when she's already up to her neck worrying over her own twin brother. and perhaps that's why lumine and childe has also never one, never found the time or opportunity to make a family.

still, that's no reason for them to use her and ajax as substitutes for their dream of having a family. they both have their lives to think about, to live as their own selves.

in any case, lumine says nothing more, shuffling over to the bathroom to take a shower. a part of her still doesn't feel like herself, as if the other lumine has already settled in, taken over. it's different from the possession she's experienced the day before, a little less invasive and more ... right. if right means submitting to a person who's already lived their life a thousand years ago. how unsettling.

she wonders how ajax is faring, though. he seems outwardly unfazed by it all, but having gotten to know him, he also might just be keeping it from her.

lumine steps out of the shower twenty minutes later in a yukata, her hair still dripping wet onto the fabric. but she finally feels refreshed and just in time too as she hears a knock on her door: room service with their dinner. ]

Ajax, can you get that for me?

[While she showers, he's gotten dressed after finding some tissues to clean himself of anything that had been leftover on him, lying on top of the comforter of the bed while he plays on his phone. He looks up as she comes out of the bathroom, before his attention is brought to the door.]

Mmmmmhm.

[Getting up, he answers the door, thanking room service for bringing them their dinner, and he brings the food in and sets it on the table.]

Good timing. Whatever you got smells good.

[His looks appetizing too, but that might just be because he's hungry and he'll eat anything right about now.]

[ there's a part of her that wonders for a moment if this is how things will be in the bedroom if they start living together. she supposes that it's not too terrible and, if anything, it's rather domestic—until lumine realises what she's imagining and pushes it out of her mind. one afternoon of sex with ajax—or childe—and she's already entertaining stupid thoughts.

... she really must be going insane, too. no wonder it feels like the other lumine is slowly taking over, influencing her actions and decisions. ]

It's just riceballs and soup, [ she replies, shuffling over to the table and tucking back her damp hair behind her ear. she didn't want to order too much, just in case she's unable to finish it. ] Though I hear they make specialty riceballs in this place.

[ lumine settles on one side of the table, folding her yukata properly to keep it from getting wrinkled. ]

[He looks over to her as she joins him at the table, finding himself absentmindedly admiring how she looks in a yukata, his head propped up on a fist. He stares a little too long, before her words register, blinking a few times when he realizes he's staring and looks down to his wrap.]

I regret not ordering my own soup now. It smells divine. Hey, I'll let you try some of mine if I can try some of yours.

[Ajax isn't sure how she feels about sharing food, but the smell of it is enticing. He wouldn't mind in the future to be able to sit down and have a nice meal together, at home without having to worry about being presentable to go out. Maybe, he'd cook something for her. He finds himself longing for this to be a more regular occurrence, sighing through his nose at the thought.

He's being awfully sappy with himself right now, he thinks, and he's not usually like this.]

[ lumine does her best to ignore his stare. it's rude, she almost wants to point out, but pointing out means highlighting it, including with slowly growing embarrassment over said staring. so, for now, she pretends that she doesn't notice it, her gaze lowering to her plate and bowl and feigning an expression of interest towards, well, her riceballs.

to be fair, it does look quite tasty and filling, even if it's probably more suited for a snack rather than for dinner. she supposes that she could always go to kiminami restaurant, which seems to be open 24/7 if she gets hungry in the middle of the night. ]

Why don't you have a bite first? [ she replies, pushing the bowl towards him while picking up an onigiri in her other hand, nibbling at it. ] Let me know if it tastes good.

[ ... this entire scene is just weird. it feels weird, and she doesn't even know why. she can only attribute it to the other lumine again, seeing that she seems to be the cause of certain circumstances lately. ]

Edited 2022-06-19 15:28 (UTC)

[Guess she caught him staring. Ajax doesn't seem to take too much mind though, only briefly sorry that he'd been staring at her. He wants to believe he can't quite put a finger on it, but he knows he's lying to himself- he can feel his heart beat a little harder every time he looks at her.

He takes the bowl that slid to him, sampling it a little. It's good, just as good as it smells, and he smiles back to her after trying it.]

It's as good as I thought. Do I have to give it back?

[He teases her, taking another sip of her soup. If she leaves it with him too long, there might not be any left. He gazes over to her mischievously, as if he'd actually keep it if she let him.]

[ she blinks, somehow surprised at his question. ]

Is it really that good?

[ for him to suddenly ask if he has to give it back to her. lumine lowers her onigiri for a bit, her gaze flickering to the bowl. admittedly, she didn't really think too much of it when she ordered it; she only wanted something warm and filling to pacify her growling stomach so she can continue sleeping in peace later tonight. but for him to ask for it all of a sudden ...

or maybe she's just overthinking as usual, and ajax is being ajax, pulling her leg and being a belligerent idiot. ]

Sure. Let me have a taste first, and then, you can have it after.

[It's difficult for him to hide his surprise. He expected to be sassed by her, but it never comes. But he doesn't find this disagreeable by any means, sliding the bowl back to her.]

You're getting better at not taking my bait. Here.

[He offers her his wrap, so she can try that as well. They're in Inazuma, it's only natural to want to try everything it has to offer. And there's no need to spend the extra cash when you can just share.]

You barely ordered anything at all. Try this too, if you like it, we can split it if you're willing to share your soup.

[Ajax's eyes soften now, losing that gleam of a bratty kid who wants to start a fight- instead, they take on a dim glow, as if the moon itself was reflecting in his eyes as he gazes back at her.]

You're just getting too obvious.

[ or she really genuinely thought that he wanted it. either way, she wouldn't have minded if he took the soup for himself so long as she at least had a spoonful of it. just so she'd know what it tastes like and understand why he even wanted it. but that's done, and lumine's pulling the bowl back to her.

she doesn't continue eating, however, once more pausing to blink at him and stared at the proffered wrap. she would've declined the offer, arguing that she's barely eaten her rice balls, before she decides otherwise, her hand reaching out and curling around his wrist.

her other hand tucks back her hair behind an ear, the action deliberately slow. the hand around his wrist tugs it closer to her as she leans forward, cants her head a bit to one side and takes the end of the wrap into her mouth. her gaze flicker to his face, like seemingly asking permission for one very long moment, before she bites off a piece of it. a moment later, she's pulling back, releasing his wrist and chewing thoughtfully. ]

Mm, this one isn't bad either.

[At first, he's glad that she's taking his offer, as she reaches out. What surprises him is when she grabs his wrist instead of taking the wrap in his hand, and his eyes widen.

It's almost as if it happens in slow-mo, the hair being tucked, his wrist getting tugged forward. A heat shoots through him, his jaw dropping as her eyes momentarily meet his own as she holds the food in her mouth, and he knows his cheeks are lighting up as they flush, pink coloring his face. He can feel himself rise in his pants, still staring at her mouth as she chews the wrap. He hangs there for a moment, before sighing and putting the wrap back down on the plate that it came on, his head meeting his hand.]

Lumine...

[He pauses, because what does he even say to that.]

You know, as much as I thought that perhaps my end would come at the hands of an ancient god...I suspect it's going to be because of you.

[She did call it last week, didn't she.]

[ lumine continues to chew, glancing at him and cocking an eyebrow at his remark. ]

Is that your way of saying that you'll never win against me?

[ that's a shame. she thought he'd put up more of a fight against her, especially when his counterpart seems to be the type who wouldn't give just in. then again, childe seemed to fold under lumine's touch easily and quickly, without too much effort from teyvat's famed traveler. she really had her leash around his neck, that one.

she rests her chin on a hand, tilting her head to one side in amusement. oh, this is quite entertaining, isn't it? just like their little stint last week. ]

Don't tell me that turned you on.

[His head raises to look back at her, a mix of amusement, defeat, and happiness on his face. She's issued her challenge, and he'll always rise to meet it. And yet, at the same time, he's well aware that he may lose, and often. But it doesn't bother him in the slightest, he'll just use those experiences to learn from it and make their little bouts that much more exciting and fun.]

So what if it did? I'm hardly ashamed to tell you what excites me. In fact, that makes it all the more enticing.

[He gives her a sly look, meeting her gaze with his own.]

But don't think it means you're going to win every time just because you know such personal details about me. I'll still come back with my own strategies for next time.

[Because it's not as if he doesn't know how to entice her, too. And learning more ways to coax her will always entertain him.]

[ oh, ajax. he underestimates her so.

lumine gives him a mild look over her onigiri, and for a full minute, she doesn't say anything. she does take a bite of her food, however, once more looking thoughtful as she considers his words. she's pretty sure she's going to win every time, if only because he's almost similarly built as his counterpart, mind and body, and because he's clearly acting like a lovesick pubescent teenager.

she tests it out underneath the table, shifting her leg and pressing her foot against his calf, running it lightly and suggestively along its curve. all the while, her expression remains nonchalant, finishing her first rice ball before reaching out for another. ]

Mm, we'll see about that. I'd like to see that determination break down into pieces.

[He's not going to let his food go to waste either, so while she's silent, he eats some of his too. She's got a good poker face, he'll give her that, but if he didn't know any better he's willing to bet she's got a plan, got a way of making him submit in some way to her. Not as if he minds, but he loves seeing what new and creative ways she'll think up to get him to do so. So who's loss is it, really.

He lets his head fall into the palm of his hand, tilted to one side as she rubs his calf with her foot. It's nice, and he loves the touch, but he keeps his face plastered with that same cocky smile he likes to wear so much.]

Is that what you're into?

[He says, picking his wrap up again and taking another bite. Delicious.]

[ then this is going to be a lovely dinner indeed. the fact that he's playing along with her only makes it even more entertaining, if only to make sure that she can rub her victory later on in his face. ]

Maybe, [ she replies with a shrug, glancing at him once more. ] Though there are only a few guys who managed to meet my expectations, so I can never tell.

[ barely a handful, really, with all of the guys she dated in the past few years. maybe that's why aether didn't feel threatened by them or didn't have such an adverse reaction towards him; her own twin could feel that her interest is lacking. her foot brushes against the underside of his knee before it plants itself between his legs on his seat.

now that things are slowly unraveling, however, she has a feeling there's a reason for that. ]

What about you? Are you only into me because of Childe?

[Her foot against his leg is making the skin beneath prickle, as he eats more of his wrap. It's so tempting just to slide over and kiss her, and he feels like he'll never tire of her teasing like this. If he weren't eating, he'd reach down and start to give her a foot massage, so she'll just have to wait until he's done. His expression remains unthreatened by her remarks about her exes and past flings, not caring for what they did or didn't do for her. He knows he's different, with the way she responds to him, plays with him.

But the question gives him pause. It's not a question that he expected her to ask so cooly, as cavalier as he acts sometimes almost. It's a trap, it's a question that's rooted in something more serious, something that if he answers incorrectly could hurt her.]

You want the truth? I've had my eye on you since the day I met you.

[He's not lying. He remembers how he felt drawn to her, before their first vision, before their whole world broke down and transformed into this cat and mouse chase between themselves and Celestia.]

I didn't think much of it at the time, because of prior responsibilities I had to take care of. I almost thought I was being quite ridiculous, but you've been on my mind ever since then.

[He says it with confidence, not a hint of doubt painted on his features. What transpired after, well that's another story. But he's not sure how he could convey that to her, not in this scenario.]

[ an honest person, or a good poker player—she can't really tell. to be fair, he hasn't really completely lied to her. omitted a few details, sure, and kept her out of the loop, but lie? no, not at all. which is hilarious and ironic considering his job.

still, she keeps her eyes on his expression, observing any changes in it, any shift that would indicate that he's being irreverent and thoughtless. confidence can be easily masked if this was over the phone, the tone of voice effortlessly manipulated. but there's always something on a person's face that gives them away.

but there's none on ajax's face, which makes her feel a multitude of conflicting feelings. it would've been easier for her if he had answered yes. ]

But whatever your feelings are, is it your own or is it Childe's?

[ she doesn't know why that matters, but she feels that it should, considering what's happening to them. ]

When you look at me, is it the other Lumine you're seeing? The one in our visions?

[There it is, the root to all this. It's the same thought that's clouded his own perception of reality, whether any of his actions are truly his or if they belong to the long dead Harbinger. And what of her? He can't be the only one between them that feels like their life is slowly being taken over by someone else, that even their whole personality is changing with it. Ajax takes a deep breath, pushing the remaining food to the side, and looks at her with a straight and serious face.

He won't play around here, no teasing, nothing of the sort.

Because out of everything that's happening to them, this frightens him the most.]

Lumine, I think at this point we have no reason to hide things from each other. Would you agree?

[It's not that he's trying to dodge her question, but he wants to make sure they're on the same page before he answers it. It's a conversation that he feels has been coming for some time now, but how to approach it is important to him.]

[ lumine wants to argue that, well, no, not really. there are still things that she'd rather not tell him, things that she'd rather keep a secret from him. not out of fear of him learning about it, but out of uncertainty of what will come next, what he would say after. it's the first time she's been given something that she doesn't know what to do about despite her decisiveness on a lot of matters.

but she supposes that that's something that can be discussed on another day, a less tiring, less frustrating day.

she gestures at him, withdrawing her leg and letting her foot drop back to the floor. her own food is also set aside, most likely to be forgotten depending on how this conversation will go. ]

Sure, go on.

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