insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[He dumps the shattered crystal into a small garbage can, thinking. They just need to get more of her power to her. Okay.

The other glove is yanked off his hand, handing it to Aether to put on. It didn't seem like a lot of power was returned to her, but there were a quite a few more crystals to go through. And he knows he wasn't seeing things. Something went back inside of her.]

Aether, help me for a moment.

[He waits until the other puts the glove on, and hands him four of the crystals out of the pouch.]

They're not hard to crush. Hold them over her just as I did. Let's see if a few more do the trick.

[He takes a few more for himself, holding his hand over her as he did before, crushing the crystals and opening his hand to allow the essence inside to flow back into her, looking on to see if she improves with each one.]

... Is that really a good place for you to throw those away?

[ seeing that they didn't seem to have gotten those crystals via legal means, and ajax is just dumping it in her trash bin. honestly, she wonders if he and his brother use their head sometimes in very crucial situations.

in any case, crushing multiple crystals all at once seems to have a greater effect. so much so that lumine had to push them both away in an attempt to stop them, leaning heavily against aether. her twin's quick to soothe her, quietly asking what's wrong. lumine doesn't answer right away, taking a huge gulp of air, finding herself overwhelmed with so much power seeping back into her all at once.

her body's feeling lighter now, as if there's very little weight pressing onto her and crushing her. and yet her chest tightens, like something's squeezing her heart with every bit of power returning into her. ]

Let's stop for a bit, please. Just a bit, if we can.

[His eyes widen at her reaction, stopping immediately given how she gasps for air, afraid that they'd gone too quickly with returning her power to her. Of course, he has no idea how this works at all, and it almost feels as if he'd lucked out by crushing one of the crystals to start. That may not of worked either...]

Of course. Perhaps we should let it settle inside you before continuing. Was that too much at once?

[That's what he assumes is what's happened here. He still deposits the crushed crystal in the trash, but he'll take the bag with him since she poses a good point.]

[ aether momentarily removes the glove just so he can rub lumine's back soothingly as she tries to catch her breath and gather herself. it does seem like she's getting better, colour slowly returning to her skin like blood is finally starting to circulate. her breathing has also started to become less and less laboured, each inhale deep and unhindered. that's good, it's good to know that it's working and she's slowly feeling better.

but he also understands if the surge of strength and power in her all at once is overwhelming and too much. it's something he might never personally experience himself, but he assumes it's the same as being fed too much food in one sitting.

take as long as you need to, lumi.

as long as she's slowly getting better, then he can give her all the time she needs. she can take her time regaining her strength once more. her returning to normal is all he wants. ]

Mm, [ lumine responds with a nod, closing her eyes. so much power all at once, and her head feels like it's swimming, dizzy from so much stimulation. ] I just need time ...

[Ajax surveys her, notices how color is starting to return to her cheeks and skin. No longer does she look as if she were on death's doorstep, and he can breathe a little easier knowing that this is working. She'll be fine, they just need to take it a little more slowly now. Give her a moment, to let it settle.

His hand slips into her own, fingers interlacing and and curling around her hand as she deals with the power that's returned to her. She has a lot of it, he knows, and even that much is probably more than any normal person could ever fathom.]

Just let us know. You're looking better already, [he soothes, squeezing her hand once.]

We'll go a lot slower from here on out, too. Sorry for overwhelming you like that.

[ aether remains silent despite noticing ajax's hand slipping into lumine's, pretending that he doesn't or can't see it at all. as much as he wants to scold him for being too touchy-feely with his sister, this might not be the best time for that. it can wait until he can nag at him again after lumine's feeling back as herself once more.

do you want to rest for a bit? he says, carefully letting her lean back against her pillows. anything painful? uncomfortable? ]

I'm fine, Ae. I just need a break.

[ honestly, her brother babies her too much in the past few days. and while lumine totally understands why, he can also be a bit fussy, more suffocating than these crystals being crushed.

she glances down at ajax's hand, her fingers limp in his grasp. she gives it a beat, before she runs a current of electro energy through him. ]

It's fine, don't worry about.

[Ajax's hair instantly stands on end as she shocks him, his teeth clamping together. Yep. She's definitely fine, that's for sure. It also gives him ideas for later, but maybe he'll suggest them to her when they have some private time.]

She's telling you the truth, you know, [he says, leaning against the bed so he can let go of the rail to try to smooth his hair down. And yet, he doesn't let go of her hand.

But he does give her a look to ask if she'll lay off the electricity. That sort of hurt...]

Trust me, I can tell.

[ lumine just shrugs at the look he gives her, feigning ignorance at what he's trying to say. she's more surprised that he didn't let go after that, that he decided to still hold onto her despite clearly in need of a seat after that bit of a shock. she wonders if she should try it again ...

maybe not, not when aether is glancing between the both of them as if suspecting some foul play happening before his very eyes. once again, lumine just shrugs her shoulders. ]

Ae, I'm hungry, [ she says out loud, her stomach chiming in as if on cue. ] I want something to eat.

[ ... okay, but are you sure you're going to be all right? he says this while pointedly staring at ajax, sighing only when lumine nods at him. why is his sister like this?

fine, but no funny business. and don't continue with the crystals until i'm back. ]

[Ajax is pretty sure he's got his hair down. Mostly. It probably looks like Childe's, except even more spiky now. Blast her, did she really have to do that...now Aether's looking at them like he's onto them.]

Don't worry, we won't continue with the crystals. I might not have the strength left to crush them all myself anyway.

[Which isn't a lie. He can do some of them, but there's no doubt he'll need Aether's help. He's already getting a little tired, but whatever bit of fatigue he feels doesn't matter in the wake of finding out that Lumine can return to normal now. He does ponder if she's sending Aether away not only to get her food, but so she can ream him out in private. Ajax is prepared for it anyway, as he figured she might get mad at him for one of several dozen reasons.]

I think I saw a vending machine down on the first floor. There's a kitchen too, or I suppose there's always the option of fast food. Food options are limitless here downtown.

[ again, aether sends them both a suspicious look before he relents, kissing lumine's forehead.

okay, i'll be right back. don't hesitate to call the nurses if he does something stupid.

he grabs his wallet and phone, delivered a few days ago by his assistant, and leaves the both of them. almost immediately, lumine takes her hand out of ajax's, plopping heavily against her pillows and letting herself sink in. she turns her head and averts her gaze away from him, looking at the window that on the other side of the bed. now that she's had a bit of rest, she feels much better, less in pain and more like herself.

it's still a little uncomfortable in a way, pain still existing in some areas of her body. but it's much better than before. ]

You should probably sit down. You look like you're going to keel over anytime.

[His mouth turns down, unhappy that she still won't look at him. It's not as if he didn't notice, the minute she'd looked into his eyes and saw the unsettling sight that he too saw reflected in his own mirror. Ajax shuffles back over to the chair, but instead of sitting down, he simply grabs his walking stick and hobbles over to the other side of the bed where her gaze is facing.

Not like he doesn't know she'll just turn her head away from him anyway.]

Oh? I didn't know you could tell, you won't even look at me anymore.

[He doesn't bother to mask the hurt in his voice, because while he realizes it's disturbing, at least she could talk to him about it.]

[ ... how persistent, she thinks.

but then, lumine's just as stubborn as her twin brother, perhaps even more, and lumine shifts her gaze once again away from him, folding her hands on her stomach. honestly though, what did he expect? it isn't as if he hadn't known her for a while, hadn't figured her out in the past months they've been together. this shouldn't have been a surprise. ]

I don't need to look at you to be able to tell.

[ after all, she's known enough about him as he has about her, right? this isn't an issue for someone like her. though it's clearly one for him. a part of her wonders, though, if she shouldn't have sent aether away to get food. ]

Edited 2022-07-07 12:05 (UTC)

Lumine...

[Ajax won't pretend like he doesn't know what this is about, standing there as solidly as one can with an injured leg and ribs. Though he tries to see it from her point of view, how she must look at him and not see the same person anymore. How that sight alone might bother her terribly, to be shocked with it in the aftermath of what could have been a deadly outcome.

He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment to center himself, before he continues.]

I'm still me. I'm still Ajax Volkov. You know, the guy you punched right in the jaw? I haven't changed.

[Though when he says it, he's still unsure if he believes his own words. He's noticed a difference in his demeanor- and it was during that fight. He's never craved for violence so much in his life, enjoyed it so much. Even now, his mind drifts to fighting far more than it ever has before.]

[ the way he says it, it almost sounds to lumine as if he's trying to convince himself more than her. as if he's still unsure if he truly is ajax or if he's someone else, someone he's been trying to hold back and has consistently failed to do so. ]

I wonder ...

[ his words earlier, the look on his face—it's as if she's staring at a complete stranger, talking to them familiarly and yet not recognising them at all. and all this time, the other lumine had been silent with no words to convince her otherwise.

she glances at the window once more, her gaze moving completely past him. ]

... Should we reconsider what we talked about back in Inazuma? [ she doesn't want to, but if she needs to, then she won't flinch. ] I wonder if this wouldn't have happened if we just let it go on.

Even if that weren't the case, we'd still have to reconsider it. We must find a new place of residence that's safer to stay at.

[Ajax's face construes into an expression of frustration, the reasons numerous for why it does. First and foremost, because they need to find a new place to live. All three of them, when he thinks on it. Just because he happens to be the hardest of the three to capture, doesn't mean he isn't just as at risk as they are. And then all the problems that go along with that.

Second, because he knows that she's not convinced by his words. He isn't either, but there's got to be a reason as to why this is happening to him. He doesn't remember being like this while he was being intimate with her, because she would of reacted back then. No, perhaps it's because of something else.]

I don't think we should look back at it and blame ourselves for the events that took place this last week. Looking forward and being glad we're all still alive is what should matter most. Even if it came at a price.

[He sighs, gazing down at her as she looks right past him out the window.]

Lumine...please look at me. It's already hard enough knowing that the Foul Legacy Transformation might of done something to me. It makes sense, now that I think about it. Why Childe told me to save it for crucial moments, and why my eyes are starting to look like his.

[And yet, something deep down tells him that isn't the case at all. Like whatever happened to the Harbinger long ago had occurred before he learned the transformation.]

[ even if it came at a price, he says. a price she's unwilling to pay for—has been unwilling to pay for since the very start of everything, and it isn't as if ajax is unaware of it. she's always made her feelings certain and straightforward with what's happening to them; there was never a time when she sugarcoated her own words.

in any case, lumine finally looks at him, reluctance underscoring her expression. sure, perhaps the only change he physically had are his eyes, no light currently reflecting in them. but there's something else, something she can't put a finger on. ]

Aether and I spoke about finding a new place to live in.

[ it's something aether didn't want to burden her so soon, especially when she's just woken up. but her brother realised how urgent things are. ]

We're thinking of moving out of Fontaine and living elsewhere. [ being on the run seems like a cowardly thing to do, but that's better than dying. ] We haven't decided yet where we'll go, but we've been to a lot of places. I'm sure we'll find somewhere that will suit us.

[ she's careful with her words, making sure she's referring to herself and aether alone. ]

[Ajax frowns- that's not the situation he wants at all. That's just as bad as them being separated from each other, in his opinion. And as it seems, the twins are not prepared to deal with a god. He's not even prepared for it, but he put up more than a fight than Aether had been able to, though he hardly blames him for it. How can one man only armed with a delusion stand up to that?

Besides, he sees what she's doing here. He's not about to let her leave him behind.]

And they'll just follow you there as well. If they can reach you in Inazuma, they can reach you in any part of this world. And you're cutting me out, too. How can I be there so quickly if something like this happens again? And...I don't want to be away from you, Lumine. You already know how I feel about that. It didn't work then and it's not going to work now.

[That can't be the solution to this. He puts his thumb to his chin, as he's been doing quite a lot lately...let's see. Moving far from him is bad, but Fontaine is their hub as well.]

Honestly...it's too bad we don't have that teapot our counterparts mentioned. Do you remember? The first vision we shared together? It seemed to be a place of refuge, if the vague memories I have from Childe are true. It would have been the perfect hideaway.

[ she says nothing about his assertion that she's cutting him out, neither denying nor confirming it. instead, she simply considers their options, hers and aether's, on how to sort this out, a part of her regretting that she's even shared that with ajax at all. perhaps then, he wouldn't have a say in it.

... or should she start calling him childe, she wonders, despite his claims?

lumine slides a little lower down her pillows, turning her head away from him again and letting it slide towards the door, wondering when aether's coming back with her food. ]

No, I don't, [ is her abrupt answer despite remembering it otherwise. wangshu inn, she recalls, they left it there.

but lumine doubts that it's still there after all these years. surely, the adeptus who used to dwell in the eaves of that inn would have retrieved it in some way. if not, then it would've been left in lumine's hands, stowed away elsewhere. if only her counterpart would speak right now as she's wont to do when childe is involved. ]

[Ajax lets a sharp sigh out of his nose. Turning away from him like that, knowing full well that she's lying to him. She certainly remembers, how easily could it be forgotten? His mind shifts, away from the problem of finding a place to stay to the fact that she is acting as if she wants nothing to do with him.

It wrenches his heart a little, frustration and sadness building in him at the sight of the back of her head. He doesn't know how to convey to her that he's still himself, despite his new lust for battle that he finds himself reveling in.]

Lumine.

[His hand reaches down, cupping her cheek, moving her head towards him as he leans over, his face already close to hers before he's even turned it far enough. Without any regret, he takes her into a deep kiss, in the way he's always kissed her in the past. Not as Childe, but himself- because he doesn't know how else to show her that he's still the man she met in their office building months ago. How he's the same guy that sat with her and worked out a deal in a deli just down the road, the one that she was so angry at for almost getting the in trouble in Liyue, the one she drunkenly kissed in the Grand Goth Hotel during Windblume.

Ajax is greedy and needy with his kiss, unrelenting and unwilling to let up until he's satisfied that he's shown her that he still is and will always be that clingy, aggravating heir to the family business.]

[ lumine senses him before she hears him, already letting out a deep sigh, which, for once, didn't hurt to do. but even before she can say anything, he's already turning her head towards him. and before she can react, he's already leaning in and kissing her.

admittedly, her first instinct is to shove him away. for one thing, they're in the hospital and she's yet to completely recover her strength. for another, this is the last thing she wants to do at the moment when her own feelings are conflicting with one another. and yet her hands refuse to do so, curling on his chest but with no strength or attempt to stop him, hating every moment that she's completely helpless beneath him.

her breath catches in her throat when he doesn't let up, seemingly deepening the kiss with every second that passes, and her body betrays her further as her lips part and accept him without question, responding to his kiss.

she doesn't know why, but she finds herself sighing in relief against his mouth, a heavy weight she didn't know she was carrying lifting off of her shoulders despite her heart skipping a beat. as if a part of her dreaded that this would never come to pass again, as if the recent events had put the fear of losing him within her.

lumine isn't sure how much time has passed, her mind focused on ajax and ajax alone, his warmth and his touch, that she doesn't even hear the door sliding open.

... really?

her eyes flash open at the sound of her brother's voice, immediately shoving ajax away from her to turn towards the door. aether is standing right there, a flat look on his face as he stares at the both of them. heat rises up her cheeks, unbidden. ]

Aether!

[ i leave for a while to get what you want and you guys just take advantage of it. ]

[It's a relief to him how she responds to his kiss, the way her lips open to him and let him in, sending a shudder through him. His mind begins to cloud, shoving away the negative thoughts he'd had throughout the last three days. If she was actually going to get better. If she'd be able to look at him in the eye again, after the display she'd given at being upset over his appearance.

Instead, he focuses on the fact that in this moment, they're still alive, and he still gets to kiss her like she mattered more to him than almost anything else in this world. And he's not afraid to show it, every caress of his lips slow and deliberate, to make absolutely certain he gets his message across to her.

It's as if he doesn't ever run out of breath for this, tiny whines coming up out of his throat, but they suddenly get interrupted by another voice in the room that he wasn't expecting. And then, sudden pain, his chest exploding in a violent storm of broken bones reminding him that he was injured.

Ajax groans, his hand grabbing onto the rail of the bed as he leans over in pain, the other hand somehow managing to keep a hold of the walking stick. Everything hurt, but he can't say it wasn't worth it...]

Uhhhggggg...Lumine, did you really have to do that...

[His forehead hits the rail that his hand grips, breathing hard to try to deal with the pain from her shove.]

Sorry Aether...I was just overjoyed that she's going to be okay, is all. Give me a minute, though...

[He can't move yet, he's in so much pain.]

[ lumine doesn't give him a second glance, even when he's practically doubled over her bed. instead, her attention is directed towards aether, his expression still that of annoyance and exasperation as he sets down the paper bag of liyuen takeout on the bedside table. his eyes briefly flicker over at ajax, before he hands over a small box of rice buns to his sister.

pretty sure you already knew she was going to be okay days ago, ajax. at this point, you're just taking advantage.

there's a roll of golden eyes from the other twin as he continues to unpack the food he's just gotten. once he's done, he turns to lumine, pressing a hand to her forehead as she takes a bite of one of the buns.

feeling better? ]

Mm, I was just hungry ...

[ i've gotten you something to eat too, volkov. unless you've already had a fill of my sister while i was gone. ]

[He groans again while he tries to stand up straight, the pain still radiating through his body from her shove directly to his chest. Ajax breathes a little harder than normal, but manages, sighing once he's caught his breath.

He thinks Aether is being a little too harsh on him, giving him an exasperated look back.]

I appreciate the thought, [he says, in regards to the food, now beginning his protest,] but you're really assuming a lot here. I'm not taking advantage of your sister at all, we share moments like that all the mMMmmmNnghhh-!

[Suddenly, a rice bun is shoved right in his mouth, his hand grabbing for it. Ugh, it tastes so gross...who even eats these things anyway!]

[ honestly.

a sharp look follows that bun in the wake of it being shoved in his mouth, courtesy of lumine who's currently finishing one up. someone really has to teach ajax how to shut his mouth, especially during inopportune moments like these with her twin brother. and to think she hasn't told aether yet that he was staying with him the entire time he was gone ... ]

What he meant to say is that he's shared moments like this with a lot of girls already, as you already know, Ae.

[ aether's eyes narrow for a moment before he rolls his eyes. as if he doesn't know this already regarding his friend, used to his antics even back in their college days.

yeah, well. that's ajax for you. ]

[Ajax highly doubts Aether bought whatever Lumine is trying to sell him here, but it's fine. Probably for the best either way, letting Aether believe whatever he wants to believe. He chews on the rice bun once, before relearning all over again how much he doesn't like them, taking it out of his mouth and regretfully swallowing the little that he bit off.]

Anyway, [he says by trying to discreetly throw away the rice bun,] why don't we continue after we've eaten. We'll administer it slowly this time, and hopefully they'll be able to discharge you from the hospital tomorrow. I'm sure our enemies are banking on your death from those crystals, so hopefully they won't be looking for you anytime soon.

[That gives them time to set some kind of residence up. That's done easily and quickly, for someone like Ajax.]

Can we get necessities out of your offices tomorrow? No more going out in public for a while. Working remotely will be completely necessary.

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