i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[monoceroscaeli]

[Fontaine: The technological hub of Teyvat.

For as long as anyone can remember, the country of Fontaine has always been the innovative center for the continent. High speed rail was originated here, and now spans across the entirety of Teyvat and beyond. High rises and skyscrapers pepper the skyline, modern Victorian buildings supporting a gear-like aesthetic from an era gone by. A thousand years ago, it was a much different place, but now it thrives with the bright lights and bustle of its people. One can hear the occasional street performer playing for cash, as businessmen and tourists alike walk down narrow cobblestone streets. People are buried in their phones, some take pictures as they gawk at the sights of the city, but one young man in particular walks languidly down the street, enjoying the life around him. He's in no hurry to get where he's going, as he has plenty of time to get there, noting a deli across the street from where he is now that he'll have to try.

Unfortunately, he is on business, so that'll have to wait.

Never being one to be dressed completely formal, he wears a comfortable pair of slacks and dress shoes, with a collared shirt that isn't buttoned up all the way under a grey vest. Various pieces of metal are woven into the vest, notably a crest on his right shoulder with a chain attached to it that hangs under his arm to the back. On his belt lies a Vision, glowing blue with hydro. The young man always seems friendly and easy going, but what lies underneath is something that not many are allowed to know- the heir to the family business of a company who develops tech for various products is also the right hand man of the mafia that runs the city.

And, their true business behind the scenes; creating Delusions to sell on the black market.

Today is a day where some investigating has to be done, and he's headed to see an old friend of his, from university. One that he's sure can help him with this problem he has. Entering the building, he swings in quietly to give a polite wave and a smile to the only person there.

Someone who looked exactly like their brother, whom he can only assume is the twin sister he'd yet to meet that he'd heard about.]

Hello, I was wondering if Aether was in today? I had a...business proposal for him, and I'm sure that he'd love to hear it. Unless of course, you might be of assistance instead.

Comments

[traversal]

[ it takes her a few more minutes to calm down, breath hitching as sobs fade and emotions ebb away. and yet, the pain remains, a numb sensation that seems to linger and clench around her heart. it's excruciating, a vine of thorns wrapped around her chest and making her work hard for every beat.

her fingers continue to curl and uncurl around the fabric of his shirt, her breathing matching the rhythm of his. like a child being lulled to sleep by the beat of their mother's heart. if only it's that simple for them, having seen such terrifying visions. ]

That felt real ... [ she murmurs against his shoulder, closing her eyes. ] Too real ...

[ his skin cold against her lips, her fingertips, the taste of his blood on her tongue—she can't imagine it. she doesn't want to imagine it. it's too painful to think about it. ]

So Lumine too ...

[monoceroscaeli]

[He knows exactly what she means. When he thinks on it, it's as if he can feel that numb cold that slowly consumed him, as Childe slowly died watching them fight. Perhaps, the only comfort was that the Harbinger had been satisfied with his fight, and his death was how he would have wanted it, facing his enemy head on. But Ajax feels left behind in the man's bloodthirsty wake, having to suffer through those moments as if he'd lived them himself.]

Did she die?

[He can't help but ask, his head pulling back to search her eyes.]

Don't tell me she did. He wanted her to live on...to have a happy life before she...

[His voice trails off, unable to say the rest. But somewhere, deep in his heart, he already knows. It wrenches at him, and it's almost as if he could hear a voice in the back of his mind quietly sob with that knowledge, as if he'd just found out that she hadn't survived past that battle.

Ajax closes his eyes, apologizing to the man who'd long passed, even though he knows Childe can't hear him no matter how loud his thoughts are.]

[traversal]

[ lumine looks up to meet his gaze and she almost winces from the look he gives her, the same look his counterpart had when he watched his archon die. she wonders then if he's somehow developed feelings towards the other lumine in their visions, his emotions influenced and affected by childe's feelings towards lumine.

... she doesn't know if she has the courage to ask him that. if she's prepared for the answer to that. in any case, she gives him a slight nod, a wordless confirmation to his question, before she lowers her gaze. ]

She was heavily injured in that fight. She just didn't show it.

[ she doesn't think she's ever felt such pain in her life, every single bone in her body broken and fractured. every breath seemed to burn her lungs and every pump of blood through her veins seemed to carry shards of glass throughout her body.

it was excruciating, and she can't even imagine how the other lumine was able to still move in that state. ]

Besides, Lumine had already accepted her death. [ with both aether and childe gone, she could feel lumine's deep anguish and misery with every passing second. she knows she wouldn't survive such an ordeal. ] I don't think there was any reason for her to linger in Teyvat ...

[monoceroscaeli]

[The breath he lets out is sharp, squeezing her tightly to him as his fears had been confirmed. His head lowers again to bury itself into her hair, the sweet scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils. That entailed so many horrors, and Ajax tries to keep his breathing under control while a pain shoots through him, gripping his heart so tightly that he thought it might burst.]

I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I'm so, so sorry, Lumine.

[Experience the heartache, the pain, how her body must have been ripped apart from the battle. Every sensation was real, every lancing pain and every crushed bone, except it just wasn't happening to them- just the traveler's and the harbinger's.

But as far as Ajax is concerned, it might as well of been happening to them too. Even if all the other visions fade, he'll never forget this one. It was too painful, too vivid to forget.]

I won't let that happen to you. No matter the danger, I will parry it.

[Because there's no way he could possibly handle the thought of Lumine, his Lumine dying in such a way that's so terrible. Childe did what he could to protect her- but Ajax promises himself that he'd learn from the Harbinger's mistake.]

[traversal]

[ the tight hug squeezes the air out of her lungs, but for once, lumine doesn't have any complaints, her hands once more curling into his clothes. pressed against him, solid and warm, it reaffirms that he's alive and well, that the vision was just that: a vision. it was nothing more than history that wasn't written on paper or stone.

but tears begin to fall again anyway, soaking into the fabric of his shirt, as she also pulls him closer, steeping herself in his presence, before she draws back. lumine wipes her tears with the back of her hand, shaking her head. ]

Funny you say that now when you were just suggesting to have me protect you instead earlier.

[ that's where the other lumine failed: protecting him and protecting aether. and it isn't for the lack of trying, she thinks, as she's always had full trust in what those two were capable of.

but still ... ] Aether's going to think you're the root cause of my being upset again.

[monoceroscaeli]

[Hearing Aether's name makes his features fall for only a moment- they both watched him die too, and Ajax has to stifle a sob when he thinks about it. Perhaps their relationship wasn't much now, due to business and work piling up, because that's just how life ends up working sometimes, doesn't it? But he's still a friend, despite all the shady dealings, and it still pained him to see him die in such a way.

So instead, Ajax chooses to smile and gives a small little laugh instead, maybe to bring a more lighthearted air to the room.]

Well, he won't be too far off, will he. Guess I'm in trouble again, haha.

[He wants to stand, to move on from that vision for now.]

You know, why don't we call it a day. Let me take you to dinner, get something nice with somewhere that has some good wine of sorts. I'm not ready to face down what we just saw, so I'd like to drown it out for the time being, if you're willing.

[Because right now, he could begin tearing up again if he's left to brood over it. He knows it, it tugs at his heart even now and he'll concentrate on it if he's not distracted.]

[traversal]

[ lumine also gets up from the floor, patting the dirt and dust from her skirt and goes through her purse to find the packet of tissues she carries around. she's a mess, she can tell, and no doubt the others who will see them walking out of this room and this crazy building will think the same. ]

Wine again? Are you sure about that?

[ she's surprised he's willing to give her a second chance in drinking after the incident at mondstadt.

finding the packet of wipes in the pocket of her purse, she takes a few out and rubs them on ajax's face, as if scrubbing a really bad, really stained surface. ]

[monoceroscaeli]

[He blinks a couple of times before she starts rubbing her tissues all over his face, not understanding what she's doing. But it makes him laugh all the same, his hands coming up to take the tissues out of her own so he can start wiping and dabbing his eyes, and his tear-streaked cheeks.]

Hahahahah, what are you doing, you rascal. Give those here.

[Ajax's eyes crinkle at their edges, thankful for the tissues.]

Anyway, the only rule is that you're not allowed an entire bottle of wine to yourself. I think we'll be safe if we go by that.

[traversal]

[ look, she can tell that that vision wasn't very pleasant for him, either. after all, it involved someone they both know other than themselves, and despite ajax being seemingly frivolous and facetious for the most part. lumine doesn't think anyone can get out of that completely unscathed.

she lets him take the tissues, watching him quietly as he cleans himself up. ]

You made me drink an entire bottle? How is that responsible?

[ honestly, she doesn't remember how much she's drank that night. only that ajax has been plying her with alcohol until everything's blur. is he saying he gave her an entire bottle to drink? ]

[monoceroscaeli]

Made you drink isn't the right wording for the situation.

[He finishes cleaning himself, feeling a little better now that he's moved on from the prior depressing conversation to this one.]

It's more like, we went to the bar, had an equal amount to drink before leaving, and I bought a bottle to bring with us. We shared that, and by share I mean I got a few swigs out of it and when it was your turn with the bottle you emptied it and laughed at me when I reached back out for more. You subsequently ran off knowing you did something wrong, laughing your little head off all the while.

[Which was not fair at all.]

Then I had to chase you down. Seems you'd forgotten that I'm much taller than you.

[Because she wasn't hard to catch.]

[traversal]

[ huh. what a weird series of events. but to be fair: ]

I've forgotten a lot of things that night. I don't think your height was one of my biggest concerns back then.

[ actually, she doesn't even remember what her biggest concern back then was. probably how to not trip on her heels in mondstadt's cobblestone pavement; that place is a nightmare for someone like her who wears heels all the time.

lumine takes a deep breath before she opens the door once more, rubbing her cheeks with her fingers again to try and put some colour in it. ]

I think all I remember is ... [ kissing him? nah. who in their right mind would admit to that. ] Waking up in the bathroom.

[monoceroscaeli]

[Following her out the door from the training room, his eyes widen. Wow, she missed most of the night. Ajax begins to laugh, putting his hand over his face as if he was having any success hiding his amusement.]

My, did you miss out. You got a piggy back ride to the statue, got your picture taken with a crystalfly, gained new elemental powers, got a shuttle ride back to the hotel and...

[He stops, not knowing if he should tell her. Probably not, she might get mad at him for suggesting that she'd pressed up against him like that. Then he doesn't have to explain why her shirt seemingly avoided the fate of being smeared with vomit.]

Haha, I mean to say it certainly had its ups and downs. I still had fun, anyway.

[He grins back at her, as he quickly grabs his jacket in the range room to slip it on over his shoulders, not worrying about her gun for now unless she says something.]

[traversal]

[ nope, lumine's not saying anything about that gun. and she's hoping he wouldn't say anything about the gun either, unwilling to have to address it for the time being. it's not like it's needed at the moment and even if it is, she's more than certain that someone is watching over the both of them.

aether pretty much implied that ajax has the means to look out for her. ]

And my shirt was taken off halfway through the night?

[ she glances at him over her shoulder, feigning a look of curiosity and mild bewilderment. the great thing about having a face like aether's is that she also knows how to work it to her advantage.

let's see how amusing his response would be to that. ]

[monoceroscaeli]

...It was, [he says, thinking on how to navigate this one.]

I'll gladly tell you how and why, if you'd like. But, I'll be honest with you and let you know that you might be a little embarrassed by your actions while you were drunk. I was drunk as well, so I'm not exempt to this by any means.

[He says it earnestly. He's telling the truth, after all, though he's hoping she won't press him.]

I don't want to put you on the spot just in case it's something that you would have rather not heard.

[It's in the past, right? Right???]

[traversal]

[ her expression shifts for a moment, looking a little disappointed by his response, but says nothing further. what a copout. and here she thought she'd get something from him she can tease him with. technically, there are a few, including some of the information she's managed to gather during her free time after their trip to mondstadt.

in any case, she huffs, walking toward the car and stretching her arms above her head. finally, out of that stuffy, sketchy building. ]

I suppose that's true. I'd rather not hear how you've started to like me because of Childe or whatever.

[ she'd also prefer not to hear how much attached he's gotten to the other lumine. honestly, anything to put these visions behind them and move on from it is great. ]

[monoceroscaeli]

[Kind of a weird thing to bring up in regards to why she was only in her bra when she started to be able to remember the night's activities, he thinks. Unless she's saying that because she knew he'd taken it off, because she thinks he's been influenced by Childe's love for Lumine.

Well, he's really not so sure if she's that far off, if that's the case. Something he struggles with internally even now. A line that's only gotten more blurry as time as gone on. Where does Childe end, and Ajax begin?]

That's what you're concerned about? Lumine.

[He unlocks the car, sliding into the driver's seat, setting his GPS to a favorite restaurant of his that he knows has great food and wine available, and one that doesn't force them to wear formal wear just to enter.]

I liked you before that.

[He shoots a grin at her, is he being serious or just trying to pull her leg? That's for her to decide.]

[traversal]

[ please, she's not really concerned about it. there's nothing to be concerned about it at all. she just refuses to be mixed with the other lumine, mistaken for her or compared to when they're clearly two separate people. she already has her twin brother to contend with as much as she loves aether deeply.

she stares at ajax over the car, a look of confusion crossing her face before she slides into the passenger seat. ]

You didn't even know me before.

[ definitely pulling her leg, especially when she doubts that aether had told her anything about her to him during their uni days. and even if her twin brother had shared anything about her, it's been years, hasn't it? ]

Unless you're the type who likes complete strangers before you get to know them.

[monoceroscaeli]

Hahaha, that's not- never mind, I shouldn't say so much.

[Guess everything is perspective, and he's not about to have a discussion with her on when exactly either of them could be influenced by their counterparts officially when it came to their affections. He's just happy she seems to have returned to some kind of normal state, one where she's perpetually mildly irritated with him for some reason or another.

Well, until she gets drunk, then everything changes, apparently.]

Since I've been pretty successful in choosing places to eat that you've liked, I'm confident that you'll enjoy where we're going for tonight. Their dessert is to die for, so I hope you'll keep room for it before we leave.

[And off they go, to the restaurant to get their minds off things, in the meantime. Ajax is glad for the distraction, the good food, wine and company- it sets his mind at ease, something he really needed after experiencing death for the first time.]

[traversal]

[ lumine has to agree that dinner is a very good distraction. having to select what to eat, what to drink has kept her mind off of the vision they've had some time ago despite seeing constant reminders of it everywhere: with ajax, with the messages she's exchanged with aether, her twin brother a little concerned that she went off the grid for a bit. she supposes there's no complete escape from it, just a moment to turn away and think of something else.

she thankfully drinks responsibly that evening, not wanting to end up with a bad hangover the next day. plus the last thing she wants is for ajax to rub something in her face again, as if he wasn't drunk himself on that evening in mondstadt. still, she's managed to drink enough to get disqualified to drive.

directions to her shared apartment with aether are given (as if ajax doesn't know this, anyway), the car pulling over just outside the high-rise apartment. lumine glances out the window, closing her eyes for a bit when she feels the cool air outside kiss her cheeks. ]

This is my stop. [ she gives it a beat before she glances at ajax. ] Do you want to come in and sober up before you go home? I can make coffee for us and then kick you out after.

[ a grin tugs at her lips. ] I also promise not to vomit on you again.

[monoceroscaeli]

[He ponders it for a few moments, or at least, pretends like he is because the answer is yes, of course he'd like to come in and stay with her for a little bit. He's not so inebriated to not be able to drive, but if this is the reason she's giving to let him come in, he won't pass on it.]

I'll hold you to that promise, now. [He smirks back at her, before it breaks into a genuine smile.] Coffee sounds wonderful. Here, let me find somewhere to park.

[He drives down into the underground parking, not caring much for where he parks, as he figures he won't be here for very long if she's kicking him out after coffee. He gets out, to follow into the elevator that will take them up to her apartment, leaning against the wall as she punches in their floor.]

We'll have to go back again to that restaurant. I can't tell you why, but I think the wine tasted a little sweeter tonight.

[He looks proud of his cheesy line, though there is some truth to it. He'd had a good time with her, and he won't hide it.]

[traversal]

[ if lumine notices his attempt at trying to flirt with her using dinner, she says nothing about it. nothing new with him, really. and she's somehow learned how to brush it off or, at least, deflect it easily.

with a snort: ] You sure it wasn't because of the server we had?

[ she won't deny that she's very pretty: redhead, blue eyes, a very cute smile. too bad she's not attracted to other women, but she can at least appreciate someone pretty when she sees them.

lumine lets him into the apartment, tossing her keys into the glass bowl near the door and her cardigan and coat into the closet next to it. the hallway is pretty dark, but she easily meanders her way into the living room, lit up by the bright lights of fontaine through the huge glass windows. it's the one thing she appreciates in this huge space,
the fact that she's able to keep the lights turned off and just bask in the illumination from the city below. ]

Make yourself at home. [ she gestures at the sofa, also tossing her purse onto it before turning to the direction of the kitchen. ] How do you like your coffee? Black? Sugar and cream?

[monoceroscaeli]

[At her remark about their server, he just gives her a flat look. Please, as if that was what he was referring to at all- she should know that he had his eyes glued on her all night. She really is just like her counterpart- enjoying ruining moments.

Once they're up in her apartment, he takes his shoes off at the door, following her into her living room. The giant glass windows are a nice touch, and he really enjoys the view that this gives them of the city.]

I'm not too picky. I'll take my coffee however way you're having yours.

[Ajax doesn't make his way over to the sofa yet, choosing to walk over to the giant windows to gaze at the city of Fontaine- the night lights a sign of how alive it all was, and he takes a deep breath out at the sight. He'll stand there for a minute longer, before turning and settling on the couch for the time being.]

[traversal]

[ she did tell him to make himself at home, so he can go stand next to the window all he wants.

lumine, on the other hand, just proceeds to the kitchen to make them both coffee. admittedly, she hasn't done this in the past few days that aether has left for inazuma, not seeing any point when she's going to drink it alone. so for once after several days, aether's nespresso machine is finally put to use again.

she returns minutes later with two cups, setting them down on the coffee table. he did say that he'll take it however she's having hers, so sweetened coffee it is for him, too. ]

That's Aether's idea, you know. [ she waves at the window, which looks obnoxious sometimes. ] Something about wanting to see the sky even when he falls asleep in the living room.

[monoceroscaeli]

Haha, I can't say I fault him for his choice.

[He picks his cup up, sipping it carefully and slowly, his eyes closing to savor the flavor and scent of it.]

The night sky is a beautiful sight, even more so when you're away from the lights of the city. But, even the lights down below signify the life that thrums all around us...which, if you ask me, is equally as beautiful.

[Ajax takes a deep breath, always finding that he's appreciated simply being alive. Even more so now, after the vision they'd had earlier in the day.]

It might sound a little sappy coming from someone like me, but I've always treasured being able to look up at the night sky and know that no matter where I am, my family, and those I care for can all look up at that same snow white moon.

[He looks down into his coffee cup and smiles softly, letting the mug warm his hands as he reminisces fondly on what he has, instead of what he doesn't.]

[traversal]

[ lumine tucks her legs underneath her on the sofa, cradling her cup of coffee with two hands and closing her eyes. it's warm against her skin, the scent soothing after a rather pleasant evening. normally, she'd still be in her study at this hour, still poring through some of the paperwork she's decided to bring home.

this is nice, she thinks, to have a quiet moment like this. even in the aftermath of such a violent and terrifying vision.

and what he's said is definitely sappy, something like her twin brother would say on a quiet evening like this. maybe that's why he and aether get along, his type usually the type that would irritate her brother but somehow doesn't. it's weird but it makes sense, in a way. ]

Mm, but what if it's a full moon in Fontaine and a new moon in Snezhnaya? [ she asks him teasingly, looking up at him over the edge of her cup. ] You and your family won't be looking up at the same moon, you know. Since they won't be able to see it.