insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[The gradual switch completes on that soft phrase, that at last they finally had each other again, and Childe loses himself completely under her touch. Every part of him aches, tangling his legs with hers as he deepens their kiss, refusing to break until he's forced to, breathless as they part. What he wouldn't give to be able to lie here forever, finally back in the company of the woman he'd fallen in love with so long ago.

She catches him for another kiss and he gladly obliges, lips soft against his own, making his chest tighten and his mind go sideways. She'd always known how to kiss him in ways that made his mind spin, that left him at her whims and he'd never deny them. Childe only gazes back through heavy-lidded eyes, sighing with content.]

Sorry it took so long. I don't know how long I have, so perhaps that nap can wait. There's still...quite a ways to go.

[Now, his hand wanders downward, to slip underneath her dress, tugging lightly at the undergarments there.]

But I think I can hold on for long enough.

[ she arches into his touch, letting out a quiet sigh when she feels his hands slip into her dress. they trail heat across her skin, drawing invisible lines of affection and desire that only she can parse. she's missed this, she's missed him, even with her present self's growing feelings towards ajax. she knows that lumine still has a lot of uncertainty and still wishes to be her own self, completely separate from her.

it's something that she doesn't want to deny her counterpart who deserves to live her own life, but she's waited for so long for this. ]

Is he giving you problems? [ lumine asks with a laugh, kissing him again. slowly, gently, wanting the kiss to last longer this time. ] Lumine isn't too different from him, I have to say.

[ even more stubborn than her, looks like it, and clearly headstrong that the current aether is unable to rein her in. then again, her own twin brother had never really managed to do the same with her so even back then; she supposes that that's the always going to be the fate of their twin.

her own fingers trace lines on his body, nails gently scraping smooth, mildly blemished skin, where she remembers his old scars used to be. ]

Mm, Ajax needs a little bit more work.

[Those undergarments really need to go, and he works a little faster as she arches into his touch. It's been far too long since he's been able to spend any amount of time with her, to have her at his side as she used to be, and now he has this small opportunity to be with her again. It takes everything he has not to let his heart race too quickly, but her kiss drags him back down under her whims as they always have.

He finally manages to slip them down to her ankles, shifting to push her onto her back as he leads one of her hands towards his zipper.]

Let's not wish to beat up my new body too much, [he says with a small laugh, knowing full well that the scar that used to adorn his body wasn't there anymore.]

He's fighting it, and he's warding me off sometimes too. I'll commend his willpower to do so, but, well. I can't say I blame him, either.

[He leans down to take her in another kiss, deep and slow, before breaking to look back down at her. She's beautiful, exactly how he remembers her. There was something about how the soft sweeps of her golden hair always rendered him breathless, and now is no exception.]

Maybe we should have told them.

[ her fingers deftly unbutton and unzip his pants, hand slipping in past its waistband. her other hand guides him back under her skirt, gasping softly against his mouth when calloused fingers brush against her folds, evoking memories and images of their intimate time together long ago. they were often brief, a moment's interlude from their busy lives, but there's no one else that lumine would share them with. ]

Do you think that would have helped? [ she pants softly as her own hand wraps around him, his skin searing her palm. ] Lumine isn't exactly ... welcoming of the idea ...

[ of the both of them becoming one, fearing that she would lose herself in the process. she can feel her fighting hard against her, putting up walls around her heart as if that would stop the feelings from building, from growing. it won't; she can feel the way lumine's heart races when ajax touches her, heat rising in her cheeks.

she tilts her chin upward to catch childe's mouth again, the soft kiss they shared slowly growing hungry, desperate. they don't know how much time they have for themselves. ]

Childe—

[Childe lets out a sharp hiss as her hand grasps him, hardening more under her grip as he falls to his knees to let her lead his hand under her dress. Despite the gradual passing of time, it seems as if it had only been a mere amount of days since he last pleasured her so- her moans and whines an echo in his ears from days past, ones he savored and will do so again. He slides his fingers into her, heat wrapping around them as he coaxes her slowly into the intimacy that they shared a millennia ago.]

I'm not sure, [he admits, her mouth catching his before can continue. Childe's mind swirls with the hunger he shares for her, feeling himself slowly get swept away with her will- knowing full well that it won't be long before they lose their strength to keep some kind of modicum of control.

It's almost as if he can feel Ajax pressing back on him for control, but it's not quite the same as the possession that Yae had put upon him. Rather, it's a more shared experience, where Ajax swears that he too, is making the decision to slide his fingers in, searching for that spot that he knows Lumine loves so much. That he also is the one who is trying to slide his own pants and underwear off with his other hand, to ready himself to fill Lumine with all the love he has for her.]

Lumine, [Childe whispers, pressing another hungry kiss to her mouth.] I love you so much...

[Pulling his fingers out, he guides himself towards and inside her, the warmth of her sex welcoming him like the lover who had finally returned after so long, letting every pump cloud his mind over with amorous pleasure as he finally is allowed this short, intimate moment with the woman he's loved for a thousand years.]

[ his words fill her with hundreds of years of emotion and affection that it's overwhelming. tears prickle at the corner of her eyes, blur her sight as she watches him slowly unravel in her arms. her chest hurts, glass seemingly pumping through her bloodstream as her heart beats hard, shortens her breath. and time seems to stop for the two of them as they both chase each other's pleasure, finally one again when he sinks in.

childe. ajax.

she calls out his name again and again like a mantra, a prayer. each murmur against his lips is full of love, longing, and desire for the man she's fought the gods side-by-side with. there's no one else she wants that very moment, no one else who could satisfy her.

lumine lets him use her as he pleases, allows him to explore her body as she does his. it's no different from mapping something familiar after years of forgetting, drawing images in her head of what she knows. she's relearning what makes him moan, what makes him shudder, and it's intoxicating. running her fingers through his hair, she draws him closer, pressing her forehead against him. ]

I love you ... [ she breathes the words as she drowns in the depths of his eyes. ] I love you so much, Ajax ...

[ it's several hours later when lumine stirs, moonbeams filtering through the glass panels of her balcony's sliding door. she doesn't dare move, her entire body feeling sore as if she's just been tossed across the room all over again. that, and it's a little difficult to move with a body pressed against her, warm and heavy like a weighted blanket.

she tries to shift from under ajax's arm, hoping to get it off of her without waking him up. a part of her wonders if aether has returned already. ]

Ajax, wake up, you big lug ...

[It had been a while since Ajax had slept so soundly, not even a dream to be had while he was passed out. The last thing he remembers is feelings of content, like he'd finally returned home from a long journey into the arms of the woman he loved so dearly, as he'd snuggled up to Lumine after they'd indulged in themselves. Echoes of her calling his name sound in his ears as he wakes, memory flickering back to how lost in her he was as she said his name over and over again, until reality slowly starts to set in.

It's dark, as his eyes flutter open sleepily to look at the woman he's in bed with, groaning as he makes sense of the world around him. His body felt like he'd already worked out, legs weak despite having time to let them rest.]

Mmmmm...I'm awake...

[Ajax rolls onto his back, feeling like he could of slept another few hours or so. The unfamiliar white ceiling greets him, and he remembers where he was- in Lumine's bed at her room in the inn.]

What time is it? It's already dark outside.

[ ajax pulling away gives her a bit of leeway and space to stretch and reach for her watch on the side table, squinting at its face in the dimness of her room. ]

A little past seven, [ she says with a quiet groan, falling back onto her pillow and closing her eyes. ] ... I should get up.

[ check if aether's returned, go through the work she was hoping to finish this afternoon. her stomach growls in complaint, reminding her that the only thing she's eaten for the day is a bite of the sushi and a few cups of tea. right, she should probably have dinner too.

truth be told, she doesn't want to get up, somehow feeling rested and yet still terribly exhausted. the fact that the other lumine took over the moment she's let her guard down, momentarily overwhelming her with feelings that clearly don't belong to her ... she bites her lower lip, pushing away the thoughts and images from her mind. whatever line she's previously drawn has been blurred away again, like images on the sand disturbed by the waves. ]

Do you want anything to eat?

[He too, is trying not to dwell too much on the events of the afternoon, though he finds it difficult not to replay parts of it in his mind. He wouldn't of thought if he pressed against her in that way, she'd...

Okay, he sits up now, rubbing his face, pushing that thought away. He's not too appreciative of Childe taking over when he felt like he was so close to being able to coax her into sex himself. But then, when he thinks deeper on it, the fact that the man was able to do that at all is unsettling. It's the second time now, and this time was much longer than the first- and almost as if he'd been possessed again. However, he can't say it was the same, and that fact alone made it even more disturbing.

Is he even the same person anymore?

As if on cue, his stomach rumbles a little after he shifts, realizing that he hasn't eaten since lunch. Which was then, twelve?]

I could go for a bite, [he replies, standing up in the darkness to search for where he'd thrown his clothing. He walks over to the wall, flipping the light switch, finally spotting his pants and underwear.]

Maybe getting something quick is a good idea. I don't think I'm in any shape to go out.

[ lumine flinches when he turns on the light, putting an arm over her eyes until they've managed to adjust to the sudden brightness. not that it's unappreciated as it wakes her up completely, banishing away any desire or attempt to fall back asleep, but he could at least give her a warning or ten.

for a moment, she glances at him to gesture at the menu sitting on the table and ask what he wants for dinner. but lumine immediately looks away, suddenly feeling embarrassed looking at his naked form. which is stupid, because it's not like this is the first time they've shared a bed together.

instead, she also tries to get up and pick up the phone, wrapping the sheets over her naked body. her legs feel like they're made of jelly, the inside of her thighs a complete mess. ]

I don't think they serve anything quick and easy ... [ considering the kind of place they're staying in. ] I'll give them a call and see what we can get. Can you, er ...

[ lumine pointedly glances at the sliding door on the other end of the room where a wall is supposed to be. ]

Check if Aether's back? He might want dinner, too.

[Ajax snatches his pants and undergarments from the floor, about to put them on when he notices how she looks away, averts her gaze from him when she realizes that he's naked. Now that's funny, he thinks, as he tosses his clothing on the end of the bed instead. He grabs the menu off of the table, walking over to her to press himself against her back as he holds the menu in front of her for the both of them to look at.]

In a moment.

[He says, voice amused at her embarrassment.]

Haha, Lumine, why did you turn your head so suddenly just now? Surely it wasn't because of me, was it?

[ lumine nearly jumps in surprise when she suddenly feels his presence behind her, his body pressed against her once more. it's a familiar gesture, his heat permeating through the fabric of the sheets, but something totally unwelcome and distracting that very moment when she's busy trying to gather her composure. that, and she can tell that he's trying to get her agitated again.

she takes a deep breath, keeping her eyes focused on the menu and pushing down any warmth from rising up her cheeks. ]

Of course, it wasn't because of you. [ self-centred much?? her entire world doesn't revolve around him, please. for him to make such assumptions— ] I just wanted to get out of bed and get something to eat.

[ she gives it one long beat before she glances up at him, lips pressed together. ]

I thought you're hungry, too.

I am.

[He answers quickly, letting himself lean down a little to let his head droop near hers, his other arm coming around her to point at the menu. He reads it, pretending like he's trying to consider what he wants off of it, knowing full well that she's probably getting a little flustered with him. It's the point, and it will always be really cute to him how she tries to fend him off.]

Can I have this? [He points to a wrap on the menu, something small and light for just waking up.] With a pickle? And some water.

[Ajax pointedly doesn't move away from her though once he's finished telling her what he wants, acting as innocent as he can about it.]

[ he could've easily told her this from a few feet away with his pants on. but clearly, ajax's here to annoy her so late in the day, rubbing her embarrassment in her face. lumine's not going to give him that satisfaction, though, letting out a huff and pretending she doesn't notice that he's leaned in closer as she reaches out for the phone and dials the number for the front desk.

it's really a good thing that she's sensible enough to wrap something around her. at least that would keep her own body from betraying her so openly, as it's wont to do when he's around. ]

Ajax, you're heavy, [ she grumbles after she finally puts the phone down, the receptionist cheerily saying goodbye. ] I need to go to the bathroom. Childe made a complete mess out of me.

[ and she needs to clean up!! make sure she's at least presentable when the food and/or aether arrives!! and also, take meds just in case!! honestly ... ]

[Ajax continues to drape over her as she orders, tempted to do something else to distract her while she's on the phone, but it's probably for the best that he doesn't. The huff is good enough, she can pretend all she likes while she makes the phone call, chuckling lightly when she finally hangs the phone up.]

Haha, sorry about that...

[If it were him, he would have used a condom.]

I...didn't realize he didn't know condoms were a thing, until recently...it's no wonder he didn't think to use one. Hey...ahhh...you're on birth control, right?

[He doesn't want a baby right now. Later, sure. Now? Nope.]

[ what a thing to ask her, omg! ]

Worried about child support looming over you in nine months?

[ then again, she also doesn't want a child at present. she has an entire life ahead of her, a career, a company that she's leading alongside with her twin brother and crazy gods wanting revenge on their counterparts. things are already complicated as they are; having a baby will make it even more batshit to deal with.

lumine squirms out of his arms, adjusting the sheet around her once more. just in case he managed to put it out of place with all his clinging. ]

Don't worry, I'm on birth control, so no surprise babies at your doorstep.

[He huffs at the mention of child support. One, because of course he can pay for it, and two, there's something in that statement that stings. He doesn't want to think about raising a child without her, if that were the case. It surprises him, so much that when she wriggles out of his arms, he barely notices.]

That's a relief, [his response sounding a little hollow,] I can't imagine what our lives would become if we brought a little bundle of joy into the world in our current situation...

[There's no way that could happen. His stress level would shoot through the roof while trying to fight gods and take care of a baby, all the while worrying when their enemies would use that against them.]

Anyway, go clean up. I'll check to see if Aether is here.

[ it would be a mess, no doubt. all the anxiety they'll have to deal with on top of everything else, ensuring the safety and security of the baby—she can't imagine it at all when she's already up to her neck worrying over her own twin brother. and perhaps that's why lumine and childe has also never one, never found the time or opportunity to make a family.

still, that's no reason for them to use her and ajax as substitutes for their dream of having a family. they both have their lives to think about, to live as their own selves.

in any case, lumine says nothing more, shuffling over to the bathroom to take a shower. a part of her still doesn't feel like herself, as if the other lumine has already settled in, taken over. it's different from the possession she's experienced the day before, a little less invasive and more ... right. if right means submitting to a person who's already lived their life a thousand years ago. how unsettling.

she wonders how ajax is faring, though. he seems outwardly unfazed by it all, but having gotten to know him, he also might just be keeping it from her.

lumine steps out of the shower twenty minutes later in a yukata, her hair still dripping wet onto the fabric. but she finally feels refreshed and just in time too as she hears a knock on her door: room service with their dinner. ]

Ajax, can you get that for me?

[While she showers, he's gotten dressed after finding some tissues to clean himself of anything that had been leftover on him, lying on top of the comforter of the bed while he plays on his phone. He looks up as she comes out of the bathroom, before his attention is brought to the door.]

Mmmmmhm.

[Getting up, he answers the door, thanking room service for bringing them their dinner, and he brings the food in and sets it on the table.]

Good timing. Whatever you got smells good.

[His looks appetizing too, but that might just be because he's hungry and he'll eat anything right about now.]

[ there's a part of her that wonders for a moment if this is how things will be in the bedroom if they start living together. she supposes that it's not too terrible and, if anything, it's rather domestic—until lumine realises what she's imagining and pushes it out of her mind. one afternoon of sex with ajax—or childe—and she's already entertaining stupid thoughts.

... she really must be going insane, too. no wonder it feels like the other lumine is slowly taking over, influencing her actions and decisions. ]

It's just riceballs and soup, [ she replies, shuffling over to the table and tucking back her damp hair behind her ear. she didn't want to order too much, just in case she's unable to finish it. ] Though I hear they make specialty riceballs in this place.

[ lumine settles on one side of the table, folding her yukata properly to keep it from getting wrinkled. ]

[He looks over to her as she joins him at the table, finding himself absentmindedly admiring how she looks in a yukata, his head propped up on a fist. He stares a little too long, before her words register, blinking a few times when he realizes he's staring and looks down to his wrap.]

I regret not ordering my own soup now. It smells divine. Hey, I'll let you try some of mine if I can try some of yours.

[Ajax isn't sure how she feels about sharing food, but the smell of it is enticing. He wouldn't mind in the future to be able to sit down and have a nice meal together, at home without having to worry about being presentable to go out. Maybe, he'd cook something for her. He finds himself longing for this to be a more regular occurrence, sighing through his nose at the thought.

He's being awfully sappy with himself right now, he thinks, and he's not usually like this.]

[ lumine does her best to ignore his stare. it's rude, she almost wants to point out, but pointing out means highlighting it, including with slowly growing embarrassment over said staring. so, for now, she pretends that she doesn't notice it, her gaze lowering to her plate and bowl and feigning an expression of interest towards, well, her riceballs.

to be fair, it does look quite tasty and filling, even if it's probably more suited for a snack rather than for dinner. she supposes that she could always go to kiminami restaurant, which seems to be open 24/7 if she gets hungry in the middle of the night. ]

Why don't you have a bite first? [ she replies, pushing the bowl towards him while picking up an onigiri in her other hand, nibbling at it. ] Let me know if it tastes good.

[ ... this entire scene is just weird. it feels weird, and she doesn't even know why. she can only attribute it to the other lumine again, seeing that she seems to be the cause of certain circumstances lately. ]

Edited 2022-06-19 15:28 (UTC)

[Guess she caught him staring. Ajax doesn't seem to take too much mind though, only briefly sorry that he'd been staring at her. He wants to believe he can't quite put a finger on it, but he knows he's lying to himself- he can feel his heart beat a little harder every time he looks at her.

He takes the bowl that slid to him, sampling it a little. It's good, just as good as it smells, and he smiles back to her after trying it.]

It's as good as I thought. Do I have to give it back?

[He teases her, taking another sip of her soup. If she leaves it with him too long, there might not be any left. He gazes over to her mischievously, as if he'd actually keep it if she let him.]

[ she blinks, somehow surprised at his question. ]

Is it really that good?

[ for him to suddenly ask if he has to give it back to her. lumine lowers her onigiri for a bit, her gaze flickering to the bowl. admittedly, she didn't really think too much of it when she ordered it; she only wanted something warm and filling to pacify her growling stomach so she can continue sleeping in peace later tonight. but for him to ask for it all of a sudden ...

or maybe she's just overthinking as usual, and ajax is being ajax, pulling her leg and being a belligerent idiot. ]

Sure. Let me have a taste first, and then, you can have it after.

[It's difficult for him to hide his surprise. He expected to be sassed by her, but it never comes. But he doesn't find this disagreeable by any means, sliding the bowl back to her.]

You're getting better at not taking my bait. Here.

[He offers her his wrap, so she can try that as well. They're in Inazuma, it's only natural to want to try everything it has to offer. And there's no need to spend the extra cash when you can just share.]

You barely ordered anything at all. Try this too, if you like it, we can split it if you're willing to share your soup.

[Ajax's eyes soften now, losing that gleam of a bratty kid who wants to start a fight- instead, they take on a dim glow, as if the moon itself was reflecting in his eyes as he gazes back at her.]

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