insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[Ajax sits down next to her, his ears catching snippets of conversation between Aether and Anatoli, his brother clearly trying to work Aether into arm wrestling him now while they wait for Ajax to return. A part of him wishes they'd just take his pile of cards and split it up between the two of them and he could come back in later.]

No, it's alright. They don't need me to entertain themselves.

[He leans forward, letting his forearms fall onto his legs while he looks over at her, his hair falling into his eyes forcing him to push it back to no avail.]

What's up? Did something happen on your walk?

[ lumine shakes her head in response to that. ]

I just took a wrong turn while walking and someone helped me out.

[ she omits a few things like how she panicked for one long moment, getting herself even more lost in the streets of morepesok. or how she stumbled into a group of wharf-workers on their way back who tried to catcall her and she managed to flip them over when her anemo element went berserk for a split-second during that instance. or how she slipped and fell on ice in the sidewalk, her coat bearing dirt marks if one looks at it closely.

ajax doesn't need to know any of those. aether doesn't need to know any of those. ]

That's it.

[There's definitely more to the story than that, but he can tell that she doesn't want to talk about it, so he leaves it there. Sitting back up, he reaches out to touch one of her hands that grips the hot cup, her skin still feeling icy despite the warmth of the glass.]

Your hands are like ice. Here.

[He reaches to press both his hands over the top of hers, letting the hot mug and the warmth from his own hands warm hers.]

The cold has always been one of our greatest foes in Snezhnaya- one can never be too complacent or they'll find themselves freezing to death in its grip. Or, in your case, freezing their fingers off.

[He should have lent her his gloves, but he didn't think about it before she left. Lesson learned.]

[ her gaze falls to their hands, her fingers still underneath his. a part of her wishes to pull away, unwilling to allow this contact to continue. there are already too many uncertain variables in their circumstances, including their own feelings, and lumine doesn't want to be even more confused than she already.

the other part of her, the one that seems to resonate with the past lumine so much, refuses to. keeps her hands right there, even shifting so their fingers can momentarily tangle. ]

And I won't be able to use that gun you gave me, I know. [ lumine glances up at him before she lowers her eyes again. ] ... I know, Ajax.

[His eyes flick from her face down to her hands and back again, his vision becoming hazy at the edges as her fingers tangle with his. Ajax has to take a slow, deep breath, because it seems like that haze could easily take over.

But in some ways, he wonders if it's already too late for that, given how easily he just took her hands in his own.]

Haha, I suppose you've learned this hard truth first hand.

[He nuzzles her head, wanting to get her to look up at him. He's not sure if it's him, or if it was their day out today or just the walk that's making her seem so reserved right now. Maybe it was all of it combined.]

I'm just glad you managed to make it back safely. We were about to come find you right as you came back.

[ lumine chalks it up to having a long day and nothing else, exhaustion and the cold settling deep into her bones. weird how it seems to happen quite frequently lately when she used to be able to pull all-nighters one after another without batting an eyelash. in ajax's presence, her body easily gives in, relaxes. ]

Aether's idea? [ she quietly asks, her eyes flickering to his face once more. ] I'm surprised he hadn't herded you out the door even before then.

[ her brother, the worrywart, overprotective and overly clingy despite leaving her in fontaine for weeks at a time. people probably think it's excessive for an older brother, but she can't blame him when all of his worries stem from her recent actions. and as twins, they've always been deeply connected more than most siblings.

ajax is leaning in so close that she wonders how he'll explain this if aether (or anatoli) suddenly shows up in the living room. well ... that's his funeral, she supposes. ]

[Pulling away, he's satisfied that he's gotten her to look up at him again, and that she seems to be relaxing now despite whatever had happened out on her walk. That's what he was aiming for, as he smiles and nods to confirm exactly what she was thinking.]

He tried. I told him to give it another ten minutes. I understand his worry, truly- but I know you can take care of yourself too. There's no reason to be rushing out the door after fifteen minutes.

[They need to be on guard, that's true. But he agrees with Lumine's sentiment on life, they should still be able to live it despite the circumstances. They just need to be prepared.

He lifts one hand to check her hand. It feels warmer, at least he thinks so.]

You should rest. It's been a big day for the both of us. Heh, I could fall asleep right here.

[Even he can't deny how tired he felt, now with all the alcohol he's drank and the activities of the day wearing on him. He looks tired too, the folds around his eyes drooping as he fights exhaustion off.]

[ warmer, and with scratches from her fall from the ice earlier. lumine tries to hide it by curling her fingers over her palm, pressing her lips together. any attempt to ask her where those abrasions and scrapes came from will be met with deflections, possibly silence. he shouldn't be surprised by this by now. ]

Don't you have a game you're losing to Aether?

[ and as if on cue, she hears the drunken frustrated yell of her twin brother from the kitchen and a loud one more time! follows in its wake. looks like anatoli's one-upping him over whatever game they're currently playing. ]

I can rest here by myself. [ which is her way of saying that he's free to leave her here, she can play well alone. ] Go on.

[Ajax laughs at the outburst from the kitchen, Anatoli really giving him a go in there. He's sure his brother has caught onto everything at this point, and keeping the twin preoccupied is most likely him doing Ajax a favor right now. He won't soon forget that, thankful for Anatoli.]

I could go, but card games are hardly something I fret too much about when it comes to winning and losing. In fact, ultimately, it doesn't actually matter terribly to me whether I win or lose anything at all, as long as I've learned something along the way. Besides...

[He sinks back into the couch, letting his hands fall from hers, only to let his arm snake back between the couch and her back, tugging lightly on her to lean into him. He's letting his whims get the better of him again, that haze still residing on the edges of his vision.]

I'm far more comfortable here right now. Rest with me, if not for a moment.

[ there's a moment when she hesitates, her entire body stiffening when she feels him tug her closer. she can still hear aether shouting from the kitchen, anatoli's laughter underlining her twin brother's growing frustration.

but a moment later, lumine relents and leans against him, the cup of hot chocolate still cradled in her hands, kept from spilling over. her eyes close, a quiet sigh leaving her lips.

her counterpart used to sit against childe like this too in the past, often with paimon on her lap. it's the moment of peace, the moment of respite they'd always needed in the middle of their adventures before they're forced to take upon the world on their shoulders once more. and lumine's glad she's able to relive it once more, to spend time again with ... ]

Childe ... [ she finds herself murmuring, almost like a content sigh. ]

[She feels warm against him, despite the adventure she'd just had out in the cold. Ajax can feel his body relax and melt with her up against him, a memory of long ago filling his mind with Lumine resting against him in the same way. His eyelids droop, looking down at her with a strange longing that bubbles up from his center.

Childe, she murmurs.

That same haze creeps up farther, his mind sliding down that slippery slope he'd been on for months now, a little deeper down. There's a small instant of panic that fills his chest, his heart beating a little harder while feelings of allure and captivation grip him as he stares down at her. A little wildness, a little cockiness augment him, and he can't stop it despite his mind trying to keep that barrier in place.]

Lumine...

[His free hand moves to thread his fingers in her hair, being careful not to disturb the flowers that sit so nicely in her hair. She looks just like he remembers, from the day he first saw her at the Rite of Descension to now...]

I've missed this, [he says without thinking, his eyes closing as he lets his head rest against hers. Little does he know, there's a presence behind them...]

[ lumine leans against the hand in her hair, the air in her lungs leaving as another sigh, another sound of contentment. even without opening her eyes, she can feel him right next to her, his warmth emanating from his skin, melting away the cold that's seeped in from her walk outside. it's comforting, soothing—it feels like home.

right. ]

I've missed you, [ the words spill out of her lips, an almost inaudible murmur that's only meant for him and only him. the time they've been apart, the moments she was alone ...

but even before lumine could allow herself to ponder the words that she's just said, her eyes flash open at the sensation of a hand on her face. almost immediately, she looks up and meets her brother's dark expression, his eyes seemingly dead as he looks down on the two of them.

aren't you two sitting too close for comfort?

aether's hand is pushing their faces away from each other, looking terrible annoyed by this. she doesn't think it helps that he's also probably drunk, the colour on his cheeks quite bright. this isn't going to end well, she can tell.

get your face away from my sister's, volkov! ]

Edited 2022-06-05 03:04 (UTC)

[Her words cut through him deeper than he could have ever imagined, the ache in his heart that radiates through him from being separated from her for so long makes his breath shudder with a strange mix of happiness and sadness. He missed her too, and he opens his mouth to tell her how much he'd also missed her and how much he loved her, how happy he was to finally have her back in his arms...

But reality is a cruel mistress, and Ajax's eyes suddenly snap open at the sound of Aether's voice behind them and the force behind the hand that pushes his head off of hers. He feels his temper instantly break, and he shoots Aether a dangerous look that drips of poison and anger.]

Are you picking a fight with me, Viator?

[That wildness he's just inherited flashes in his eyes, his patience of Aether calling him by his last name finally wearing out. He doesn't want to lose a friend simply because he's taken an interest in his sister, but this is just...

Hey, hey, stop it you two. Aether, did you really have to lay hands on them? Settle down.

Anatoli, not wanting a fight to break out in his own house, is trying to settle the situation. He shoots Aether a glare, before giving Ajax a look too- don't do this in his house.

If you really need to fight each other, go outside and freeze to death while doing it.

Ajax huffs, backing down. He won't ruin this for his brother, as he's a guest in his house.]

Fine. But don't touch me like that again, Aether. It won't go so well for you next time.

Edited 2022-06-05 03:22 (UTC)

[ the exchange has a more sobering effect than a cold shower, lumine quickly pulling away from ajax and jumping up to hold her brother back. in the process, she spills the hot chocolate on her dress, the dark liquid staining the fabric. but it doesn't even matter that moment as she's more concerned about keeping this from escalating, her arms wrapping around her brother and pulling him to a hug.

her gaze flickers at anatoli, sending him an apologetic look on behalf of her twin while rubbing aether's back, soothing his ruffled feathers. he's managed to get himself well in his cups, the idiot, and he'll no doubt regret this in the morning, even if he's upset about ajax. ]

Sorry, Anatoli. Can we borrow one of your rooms? I'll take him back to his hotel after he's sobered up a bit ... [ she's seen a few cabs outside during her walk. surely, one of those can take them back to the capital.

lumine hears him whine against her neck, grumbling something about ajax and her hooking up, how it's a betrayal of him. she presses her lips against his temple, sighing softly. ] ... You're drunk, Ae. I told you not to drink too much.

[Ajax only sits back into the couch once more, folding his arms as Lumine tries to soothe her brother. He's got nothing more to say right now, and he's sure if he does Aether will only snap back at him. Guess he's left to text messages at this point.

Anatoli nods to Lumine, gesturing towards the stairs that leads to a few guest bedrooms he has ready in case a relative pops by outside of large gatherings that take place at the family home.

I've got a few spare bedrooms upstairs. If you two need a minute, feel free to use one. Ajax and I can hang out down here for a bit.

Meanwhile, Ajax has already taken his phone out, angrily looking at something on it to try to take his mind off of what just happened, and so he doesn't have to look at Aether for the moment.]

[ lumine offers him a grateful smile before she pats aether's shoulder and coaxes him to walk upstairs. ]

I can't drag you there, Aether ... You're too heavy.

[ the climb to the second floor is at least uneventful, lumine only groaning a few dozen times whenever aether would grab at her for another hug, whine about having to deal with this (just imagine what she has to deal with, she almost says), or stumble from inebriation. but they finally find a bedroom, one that she closes behind her before sitting her brother on the bed.

for the first time since spilling her drink, though, she can feel the warm chocolate sticking to her skin, the sweet cloying scent overwhelming. it's annoying, and to think she left her bag at the hotel. ]

Aren't you being too belligerent about this, Ae? [ she asks him with another sigh, cupping her brother's face as she sits next to him. his cheeks are warm against her fingers, tinged red from the alcohol. ] You're not like this with all the other guys I've dated before, even when you're drunk ...

[ he responds with another whine, another slump of his body against hers. aether buries his head against his shoulder.

they're not ajax, that's why. and he lists all of his reasons why he disapproves of him, why he disapproves of this, until his head finally lolls against her, a snore punctuating his list of complaints. honestly.

lumine slips down the staircase after several minutes, pausing on one of the steps to address anatoli. ] ... I'll also borrow your bathroom, if you don't mind.

[Anatoli gets up off the couch when she comes down, and Ajax looks up at her, having calmed himself from the conflict between himself and her brother.

Sure, whatever you need to do. Sorry about everything, Lumine.]

Hey, Lumine, [Ajax calls for her, before she can leave.] Do you have a second? Can I talk to you in the kitchen?

[He can see the stain on her dress now, frowning about that. It should have never came to all this, he thinks as he gets up from the couch.]

[ lumine hesitates for a bit, glancing over her shoulder, before she gives him a slight nod and slowly goes downstairs. aether conked out anyway, and she's pretty sure her brother won't be getting up anytime soon, not when he's had a lot to drink.

she's a little embarrassed as well that things have turned out this way, especially in a house that's not theirs, to begin with. and while she knows that aether's a friend to ajax and anatoli, well ... this is still an imposition on their part. she'll have to talk to her twin about this again.

she follows him into the kitchen, trying her best to ignore the growing stain on her clothes. ]

... I'm sorry about the mess, [ she starts quietly, looking up at ajax. ] I'll get Aether out the moment he wakes up.

There's no need to apologize, [he replies quickly,] I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for trying to pick a fight with your brother.

[He looks over to the side, sighing, before forcing himself to look back at her. He shouldn't of lost his temper, like that, but here he is.]

I know that'll probably only make things difficult for you later with him. Will you call me when you get the chance? I don't want to text you only to have Aether somehow see it and get angry all over again. I see how he gets about this kind of stuff.

[He looks genuinely apologetic, even if there's a part of him that still wants to punch Aether in the face for touching him like that.]

[ she nods wordlessly, uncertain what else to say in response. more than the memories, the visions, her sudden acquisition of the statue's powers, this is what she's been dreading. granted lumine didn't expect her brother to react so strongly against the both of them, but she also thought that he'd take this with more grace.

lumine also can't blame him for his reasons for being upset. ]

I think you should also talk to him when this all calms down, [ she tells him firmly, meeting his gaze. ] And without me around. I don't want Aether to lose a friend because of me.

[ because it seems like that's what her brother fears too. not just losing lumine—which is impossible, to begin with—but losing ajax. it's stupid and she would've hit him upside the head if he was sober, but it's also understandable. after all, he was ajax's friend first; she can only imagine how hurt he must've felt after seeing them together, even if it was unintentional. ]

... I'm sorry again.

Hey.

[He steps inward, to wrap his arms around her and giving her a firm hug before stepping back again and letting his hands fall on her shoulders.]

I'll talk to him. I'm not interested in losing a friend either, we have a lot of good memories together. I just didn't think he'd be so angry with me about it. Maybe he thinks I'm going to hurt you, or get you into trouble...

[His voice trails off, because they're all in trouble, when he thinks about it. But not because of him.]

Anyway, I get where he's coming from, he's just looking out for you after all. I just think he's being a little too overprotective, given his own involvement with me and my family. But I can't blame him, either. Try not to worry about it too much, and do your best to endure those lectures of his. I'm going to get one too from him, though I don't know what reassurances I can offer to him at this point...

[He squeezes one of her shoulders, sighing as he looks down at the ground again for a short moment.]

We'll figure it out. Everything's worked out for us so far.

I think ... [ they should probably stop seeing each other for a while. if it'll soothe her twin, keep him from becoming too aggravated over this, carry on with whatever peace they have at the moment. it'll all die down if aether doesn't see them together often, knowing her brother.

but her breath catches in her throat, the words following it also dying in its wake. she can feel her chest tighten sharply, her heart squeezed hard. instead, she simply takes a step back from him and gives him another nod. ]

I'll take care of the other statues, don't worry.

[ she can find certain places where she won't attract a crowd, where the statue isn't too much of a centralised spot where people gather. she knows there's a few in liyue and fontaine, same with inazuma when she's last gone there. as for the others, she could always look it up. ]

... And then, I'll let you know if there's any progress on that end.

Okay.

[That's a simple enough arrangement that's easy to agree to. He nods too, smiling though he would worry if everything will be okay if she's there by herself. But she's a big girl, and if she allows him to help train her how to defend herself more effectively, she'll be fine. Just like her counterpart.]

I'll try to get a lead on our divine stalkers. If they're hiring goons to grab you, we'll be able to find them.

[Having an underground network doesn't hurt.]

Don't hesitate to ask for help if things go sideways or if you anticipate issues. When we get back to Fontaine, we can talk more. I...

[It's not that he doesn't want to address it, but perhaps here and now isn't a good time. Ajax's mouth thins, pausing while internally debating with himself if he wants to say it out loud, but it wouldn't surprise him if she already knows what he wants to say.]

[ there are a lot of things that could follow that broken trail of words, things that she'd rather not address at this time. whatever happened earlier, whatever words she's managed to recklessly utter in the heat of the moment earlier, drawn up by uncertain and unclear feelings as lines begin to blur ... lumine doesn't feel very confident trying to explain it.

so she'd really rather not. she doesn't think ajax would appreciate anything halfhearted nor does she think her counterpart deserves such, either. ]

I should go, [ she says quickly, gesturing at the front of her dress. at this rate, the stain will remain and there's no way she can save this dress. ] I still need to clean up and then wake Aether. It's getting late.

[ it's a terrible excuse, but she uses it to her advantage anyway to get out of this conversation, slipping out of the kitchen as quickly as she can and rushing up the staircase without glancing at anatoli. her hand starts shaking aether's shoulder gently when she gets to the bedroom, trying to wake her brother up. ]

Ae, time to get up. C'mon.

[ she's pretty sure the hotel does dry cleaning, so she can just have her clothes fixed there. the twins will emerge ten minutes later, aether still looking half-asleep with lumine holding his hand. ]

[In a way, he's grateful for her quick departure upstairs. It may be because of the alcohol loosening his lips, but he wasn't ready to address that either. So he walks out of the kitchen, offering Anatoli a weak smile before settling back on the couch, running his hand through his hair. His brother joins him, giving him a look of concern.

You look like you've been through the wringer, Ajax.]

I have. I wish I could tell you the details. But you know how that goes.

[Anatoli knows that that could mean a lot of things- the family business, most likely, or something else that his brother still can't share with him. Something that involves the twins.

You know you can ask if you need anything.]

Thanks, Anatoli. I'll hold you to it, haha.

[Lumine and Aether appear, and Anatoli stands to greet them.

Going, then? Did you already call a cab?]

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