insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[ lumine tries to ignore him, which is a little difficult to do considering the space between them (and the fact that her hand is still on his shirt, but details). but she does her best to focus on the noises and voices outside the door, the argument between the husband and wife (???) louder than she would've wanted it to be. at the very least, it gives her an idea of where they are.

she does wonder absently if they also know where they are, only because the pounding of her blood is loud in her ears. her breathing has gone short too, and every air she takes in sounds terribly deafening.

it feels like forever when she finally hears their voices fade, the couple seemingly has moved away from them. lumine gives it a beat, before she opens the door of the closet, peering out. ]

... I think they're gone.

Hmmm.

[He thinks again. Bathroom is hit or miss on a window. Bedroom is the most likely they'll find one that will fit them to escape.]

The bedroom is right across the hall from here. Let's head there, quickly. Out the window.

[He keeps it short, urging her to move as they open the closet door and scurry to the bedroom. As he thought, there's a few windows to choose from, and he inspects them to see which will have a place where they can safely crawl out of without falling, given this penthouse is on the second flight up from the street below.

He opens one on the side, gesturing towards it.]

Come, you'll be able to step out here. Be careful, it's not a true walkway, just a little sliver of one since it's on the edge. Walk to your right when you get out, that'll lead us behind the apartment ok?

[ you know, this entire thing at least proves several things: that she's right, that ajax did steal (or did something) to the key, that they're not actually entering this apartment legally. but that is something she can throw at his face later on along with another punch.

hitting him can wait for a few minutes, not years while she's in prison for breaking and entering.

that doesn't mean, however, that lumine can't stare at him in disbelief when he gestures at the window. but she can't even voice out any complaints, concerned about being heard by the apartment's owners. instead, she simply sighs (she'll start to charge him with every sigh she sighs from here on out) and leans down to take off her shoes, holding them in one hand. ]

If I die, I'll haunt you forever. Give you dreams of making out with Aether.

[ with another deep breath, she moves towards and out the window. it's a long fall down, even if it's just one floor up. still, she braces herself, taking one small step at a time. ]

[Ajax follows her out, making sure to stay behind her just in case she does fall, sliding the window shut behind him the best he can while they both shimmy along the side of the penthouse to the more wide open platform behind the house. Thankfully no one's paying attention to them, and they safely make it there save for a single shoe that falls from Lumine's hand.]

Whew. I didn't count on them coming home so soon. That was a little exciting, don't you think?

[His hand goes up against his head, because he knows it's coming. He's very aware of what fury looks like, and she's got it written all over her face. Best to just take it now, let her hit him and yell at him or whatever she wants to do.]

[ exciting, her ass.

her heart was in her throat the entire time they were creeping down the path, both from the fear of falling and from the dread of one of the millelith seeing them. that thankfully doesn't happen and despite losing one of her shoes, lumine manages to get back on a more solid, sturdier, wider surface without any other incident.

the overwhelming feelings of panic and terror, however, quickly dissipate right away, replaced by indignation and temper slowly boiling towards the surface, her face positively warm from her unspoken fury. but even she has enough self-control to not freak out at him in public, and all she can do is throw her other shoe at his head and hope the heel knocks any sense back into him; impossible, he doesn't have any common sense whatsoever. ]

You idiot!

[ the passers-by seem to part for her as she storms away down the path barefoot, looking at her and then at ajax as if they've just witnessed some kind of lovers' spat. ]

[Yep, there it is.

She yells and throws her other shoe at him, and he barely blocks it with his arm, the heel, sinking into his forearm before it drops to the ground. That was a pretty measured reaction to what just happened, and he's surprised she's not trying to slug him like she had back in her office. But he'll take that as a win, picking the shoe up and following her. Maybe he can find her shoe down on the ground level once they head there.]

Hey, [he says as he catches up to her,] I know you're mad and I'm sorry, it wasn't supposed to play out that way at all. It was supposed to be nothing more than a short visit, uninterrupted to gather more information, but...ah...

[Of course it didn't go as planned. His eyes turn downward towards the ground for a second, not knowing how to appropriately apologize to her for all of...that.]

[ lumine ignores him, taking two steps down the spiral staircase at a time. to say she's still furious at him is an understatement, her rage barely contained only because she doesn't want to be arrested by the millelith for rioting in public. she's only hoping that he at least leaves her be and lets her get back to dihua marshes in peace.

but that's obviously wishful thinking as he hurries after her, offering his empty apologies for involving her in what was very obviously unlawful entry of someone's private property.

when she hears his excuse, however, lumine whirls at him, pulling back her good hand to hit him across the face. almost immediately, a millelith patrolling feiyun slope approaches them to ask what's going on. ]

Ask him, [ she spats out, pushing past the guy to head back downtown. ] He's clearly the intelligent one here.

[Ajax is trying not to trip over his own feet as he follows her down the staircase. It's why he doesn't see the punch flying right at his face, connecting solidly and making his head snap to the side. His eyes widen in shock, his jaw feeling it. She had a good punch there, he's fought guys that don't punch quite as well as she can.

He rubs the sore spot, sighing as one of the Millelith approach them. He waves a hand in dismissal, quickly answering the man's question.]

It's fine. I deserved it.

[The man gives Ajax one look over, warning them to cut it out, and he nods in return to catch back up to his very angry accomplice.]

Lumine, is it too much to ask to have you stop for a moment? You're not even wearing shoes.

[And he's still got her shoe in his hand. Ugh, what a mess...]

[ great, he got out of that scott-free. maybe she should've told the millelith that he just broke into a private home ... ]

Yes, it's too much to ask, so stop asking!

[ does she care that she's not wearing shoes? not really, liyue harbour's pavement is well-made and well-maintained, and while it's hard on the soles of her feet, it's not as bad as walking along a dirt path. at the very least, her stockings mostly protects her feet—mostly.

it's pretty useless, however, when she reaches chihu rock, the pavement a little less smooth than that of feiyun slope. the small gaps between the stone cause her to wince as she steps over it, nearly tripping as she tries to avoid the next one. but it doesn't matter, if this means she can get to the main street and finally hail a cab. ]

[He doesn't let up, following her right to Chihu Rock, exasperated that she still won't give him the time of day or even so much as look at him. He can tell that walking here is starting to hurt her feet, and he finally moves in front of her to firmly grab her by her shoulders to get her to stop.

He's not going to tell her to calm down, but by the archons he wishes she would.]

Hey, would you listen to me for a minute? Stomping off right now isn't helping. I'd rather you sock me in the face again than walk off.

[And honestly, if she did, as long as she stayed put and talked to him, he'd let her have a few free hits in.]

Think what you want about what just happened, but we just got an incredible piece of information out of it. Doesn't that pique your interest at all???

[ why is he the one getting upset at her?

lumine tries to break out of his grip and continue walking away from him, as tempting as it is to hit him again, but that's futile. maybe if she kicked him between his legs instead ...

she glares up at him, her eyes narrowing at his sudden appeal for her to calm down. she should've followed her gut since last night, since earlier that morning. she knew she was going to regret this, and she was very, very right. ]

No, it doesn't, [ she replies flatly, the corners of her lips pulling to a thin line. ] Is it supposed to interest me?

It should, [he says, not giving up an inch since he's finally gotten her to stop.]

If that vision was anything to go by, taking you to the nearest Statue of the Seven should be our next priority.

[Ajax stares back at her, the blue of his eyes intense and serious. That was, after all, the kind of thing he'd hoped to find. The rest of the vision was just extra, a testament to the relationship between the Harbinger and the traveler, as Childe had called her.

But that's not a conversation they should have right now, and he'd rather focus on any other part of it than that.]

[ lumine remains unmoved by this, even by his gaze as he mirrors her stare. she already said that she doesn't want anything to do with this anymore, not with whatever these images reveal to her, not with her counterpart's identity, not with ajax or childe or whatever his name is.

she pushes his hands off of her shoulders to escape his grip, taking a step back from him. ]

For what? For you to see if I'll suddenly gain whatever powers the Statue allows me to borrow? And then, after that, what then?

[ is she supposed to go to the other regions, do the same thing? are they supposed to indulge in this wild goose chase? until when? until they get exhausted, until someone gets hurt?

he's never really given any answers to those, only implored her to go with him. to see these visions, to complicate matters. ]

What are you hoping to get out of this in the end, really? Someone you can deem useful for your family? Entertainment for your boring life?

Edited 2022-05-15 07:58 (UTC)

[Staring back at her, his face scrunches up when she accuses him of wanting to use her as someone useful, or using this all for entertainment. He can't deny that someone who could wield the elements without a Vision would be wildly useful to him and his family. He can't even deny that one day he'd ask her to help with something that she certainly wouldn't agree with because of it. That's not why he's doing all this, but it's something that would certainly come up in the future.

As for entertainment...it makes him stop and think for a second. He'd gotten really caught up in all these visions, living another man's life through them with no real clear end goal to all of it. Perhaps having a goal was never a part of the plan to begin with.]

Listen, that's not it...I hadn't even considered when this all began that it could be useful to my family's ends. That's not why I'm pursuing this.

[Especially since he'd just learned that she might have this untapped power. He sighs, his shoulders sinking, as he looks at the ground to consider everything else. He has to give her an answer here, he can't keep dodging it like he has. And it has to be honest- if he lies, and she finds out, that's it.

He just needs to be upfront with her.]

I don't know if I'm doing this just because there's something alluring and exciting about it. Believe me, I don't have a boring life by any means, but... [He forces himself to look up at her, voice earnest.]

I don't actually care that much about the family business. Sure, it keeps my bank account filled and I do get the occasional exciting conflict to take care of every now and again, but it's not as if I ever wanted that to become the rest of my life. It's just expected of me, and I fulfill my duties to meet the high expectations of my old man. I want to make him proud, truly, and to see his will through, but...it's not what I want my true aspirations to be.

[Ajax has to take a breath, to pause as he finally admits the truth to her.]

So when this came around, I...I jumped on the opportunity. You have to admit, the entire situation is strange, and the more I learn the more intrigued I become. Living the lives of two people who lived over a thousand years ago? And to come to find out that they and their families share the same names as our own, and look exactly like us? Perhaps it is entertainment for myself, but at the same time, I cannot dismiss these facts. Lumine, this doesn't feel like an interactive history lesson. I can't shake that it might have real implications on our lives, and if that's the case, Aether isn't the only one I need to worry about protecting.

[Aether. He's got eyes and ears on him all the time, to ensure his safety. He's sure if he told Lumine that he actually gave a shit about Aether, she wouldn't believe him. Not that she has any reason to.]

And... [He stops himself, unsure if he should continue, given what he wants to say.] I don't know. It weighs heavily on my mind, and I feel as if...

[He stops again, shaking his head. No. He can't address that now.]

Nevermind. I think you get the idea of what I'm trying to say.

Edited 2022-05-15 21:34 (UTC)

[ oh, so he's willing to tell her the truth today. except the more he rambles, the less it makes sense. it's still not at all clear to her as to what truly drives him into pursuing these ridiculous events, dragging her along the way; all she can get is the fact that this is something he considered an opportunity (for what?), an entertainment for himself (see?) and something that could have real-life implications on them and other people.

and that—that pisses her off, truth be told. making him wonder if he truly is being honest and not at all manipulative to her about all of this, because why is there a need to namedrop aether during this conversation? he could've mentioned his family, his siblings, but instead, he opted to mention someone who could very much sway her into doing things.

her lips pull to a thin line, hands clenching into fists once more. it could've been convincing for her—it would've been—but he just had to say aether's name.

sharply: ] You are not allowed to say that you're slowly getting influenced by Childe or whatever his feelings are for the other Lumine.

[ because those feelings are not theirs, and she can tell that this is where this conversation is heading. ]

I already told you that this didn't need to continue if we were to just go our separate ways and forget about this, because it's only becoming more and more complicated as we continue to chase it. And who knows if next time it's the Millelith who catches us? Or the Knights of Favonius?

[ she doesn't want to risk her life, freedom, or her brother's safety for something like this. ]

[Her sharp remark makes him wince- that's not exactly what he was going to say about Childe. It's actually worse, but he'll let it be right there, very glad he'd stopped himself where he did. The terrible thing about it is, he won't have to say it for her to start noticing, and all the implications about it scare him. When she notices and distances herself from him, and if he'll begin to lose himself as he and Childe become less and less separate. He briefly wonders how it's affecting her. Surely he's not the only one getting swayed, being influenced.

And as much as he hates to admit it, he too, finds that he doesn't want to lose sight of her in his life either.]

Well, when it comes to the authorities, that's not something I actually worry too much about. We'd have to be charged with terrorism for the police to matter.

[Lumine please, he can get them out of jail with a snap of his fingers.]

And I know it's getting more complicated. It's with that realization that I have to admit that I can't do this alone. But if you joined me at my side, we could figure out why this is happening to us, and what it means. For us and everyone around us.

[ he's definitely manipulating her in some way.

lumine can hear it in his voice, the way he composes his words. each reasoning, each plea to her logic—it's very, very clear. and the fact that he isn't even batting an eyelash at this, even at the possible threat of being jailed or apprehended, is very, very concerning. she wonders if he can even hear what he himself saying. ]

You are impossible. Stupid and impossible.

[ she turns away from him again, storming back towards the main street to hail a cab. if she can get back to the inn, she can cancel her room and return to fontaine. maybe that's for the best. ]

I can't deal with you right now when you're not even thinking properly as to how this can affect us. Me. Aether.

[Ajax's voice catches in his throat when she turns, storming away from him once again. He was being open and honest with her, but he probably pushed too hard, trying to convince her to come with him. He lifts a hand, but lets it drop to his side in defeat, not chasing after her. He doesn't know what to say.]

Lumine...!

[Is all he manages to get out as she begins to get smaller and smaller in his vision, sighing. He still managed to blow it, his mind turning towards the reality that he's going to have to do this alone. Without her.

Without her.

The plane ride back to Fontaine was terrible. Conflicting feelings radiate through him, his mind flashing back to the visions, to mentions of an organization called the Fatui, to Childe and Lumine and back again. He tries listening to music, slipping headphones on and playing it loud enough to drown out the plane's engines and his own thoughts, but even the music seems to bring him back to thoughts of her.

If Lumine knew what was going through his head, she might punch him again. He's not sure if he'd stop her.

When he returns home, he spends his days on the internet researching as much as he can. About Snezhnaya, about the Fatui, Childe and everything else. Ajax becomes so engrossed in his work that he forgets to eat, returning to bed later and later every night. The only thing that tips off that there's something wrong is the bags under his eyes, as he's never been one to be a recluse, nor is he in the line of work to be able to do so anyway.

He doesn't text Lumine. He wants to, he stares at his phone from time to time thinking about it, but eventually decides against it. It won't help. She'll ignore him and he knows it.

But finally, he takes a night off, to go out to eat. He's by himself, having spent a better part of the night working on finding leads about the traveler and what history has to say about her. He's sat at one end of the restaurant, having asked to have somewhere more quiet to dine for the night. The restaurant is still busy, but more people are seated at sections at the front and the center. There's a second half to the place on the opposite side, where a lot of others seem to have been seated too. So he's thankful he'll be able to have a quiet dinner, digging into the pasta dish he's ordered for the night paired with the recommended wine.

It won't be long before that's interrupted.]

[ lumine doesn't look back even when she hears him call her name, quickly slipping inside a cab that manages to stop in front of her.

the ride back to the inn was quiet, smooth. none of the nonsensical conversation she found herself in earlier that day. the innkeeper seemed disappointed that she was leaving early, but lumine assured them that something has simply come up back at home and she won't really request any kind of refund for the remainder of her unused stay. still unsatisfied, they hand over the teapot sitting in her room before calling a cab for her again.

aether was even more surprised when she's back home early, sending a barrage of questions her way. lumine, however, ignores it all and decides to simply drown herself in whatever work that's piled up in the couple of days she was gone.

it was simple and effective, very successful in keeping her mind off of the events in liyue and also the vague feeling of emptiness that seems to settle inside of her. at the very least, it doesn't bother her as much for the next several days or so, enough for her to finally even return to her normal life.

or so she thought, agreeing to a dinner invitation from a friend. it had been going so well, their conversations about university and work and even aether quite lively and mundane over fish and wine, until lumine pauses, her surroundings shifting and melting away once more. ]

No ... No, wait—!

[ her cries fade as she finds herself staring at what's clearly inazuman architecture this time: the panels, the sliding doors, the painted screens. another unfamiliar girl stands to her side while paimon (right, she remembers her name) floats next to her.

hey, tartaglia! where do you think you're going? trying to sneak off on us, huh!?

lumine turns in the direction of his chuckle, tilting her head to one side in curiosity. where did he go anyway? he sure suddenly disappeared just before they got to this last room. ]

Childe ...

[There's noticeably no pain this time, the view of his dish suddenly washing away to give way to the inside of a rather old looking building in its architecture, inazuman in nature. Childe roams the walls, looking for somewhere to sit, but alas there isn't a place to rest after all the fighting they'd done. He can hear a familiar screech from behind one of the pillars he's rested up against, while trying to think.]

Sneak off? I'm just looking for a place to put my feet up and muse for a while is all.

[He crosses the room, and begins to tell the traveler about his investigation into Inazuma, not ceasing to wax poetic about how nice the country was. He's up front with them about his reasons for being there, looking for the sixth Harbinger, Scaramouche- and how he wasn't there, and how he has the Gnosis. Plus his own agenda to seek combat as a Harbinger.]

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you discover its whereabouts. When that time comes, Traveler, what will you choose to do? And where is your final destination?

[He sighs, before continuing.]

I wish I could stay here a while longer. The more time you spend somewhere, the more joy it brings you when you return.

[His back turned, he finishes.]

You're like the stars in the night sky, comrade. You never cease to surprise me.

[It's short, sweet, and his vision returns to him only after a few minutes. Ajax looks down into his food, twirling his fork in it a few times. This vision seemed to be before Childe and Lumine got together, he could feel how the Harbinger's heart beat for her, but he'd been holding back. But of course, he couldn't help but let that final line slip out. He's not even surprised anymore by his counterpart's actions, laughing to himself.

What a cheesy line. He'd use something like that, too.

But it's not after he'd reminisced on the vision before he realizes that Lumine could be in the vicinity. She'd have to be, right? He gets up from the table, and tries not to hurry- but he's looking for that golden head of hair, walking to the other side of the restaurant. But he sees nothing, just a bunch of people eating and one confused man sitting by himself at a table for two.

Maybe she wasn't here. He wonders briefly if the visions are getting worse, that distance is starting to matter less and less. He takes his phone out, but still decides against texting her- if she had experienced it as he had, she wouldn't be in the mood to talk anyway. Instead, he returns to his seat, to finish his meal, thinking about everything what had been said and giving him more research material to work on, leaving fifteen minutes later.]

[ when the vision fades, lumine's standing up, her expression dazed and confused. his last line to her quickens her heartbeat, makes it skip a couple of beats. and she only really returns to her senses when her companion calls her attention.

lumi? are you okay? ]

Yes ... Yes, I'm fine.

[ no, she's not at all fine. in fact, she doesn't sit back down, instead excusing herself and leaving without waiting for his response. her footsteps don't lead her to the bathroom, however, but take her outside of the restaurant, the cool air of fontaine bringing her back to her senses. all this time, the radio silence that she thought was a return to normalcy—was it too soon that she let her guard down?

her fingers slip into her pocket, debating on calling ajax, as she briskly walks down the street. is he around? is that what this is?

but even before she could do anything, someone roughly grabs her arm, dragging her into an alley. lumine doesn't even get the chance to screen, a hand pressing over her mouth and a blade over her neck.

make another sound, missy, and you'll be permanently losing your voice.

her eyes dart around in panic, noting four men surrounding her. she doesn't make a move, simply lets them drag her further into the alley. watches what they do, listens to what they're saying. one of them mentions the volkovs, how she's been seen hanging around with them. another asks again if she needs to be taken alive; surely, this ancient grudge can be addressed even when she's dead, right?

no, it seems that she's needed alive for someone. and while lumine's more than eager to figure out who it was who sent these goons after her, she's also concerned about her life.

her fingers push away the phone in her pocket, curling around a familiar glass orb instead. almost immediately, frost starts to spread across the hand over her mouth and the man holding her still lets go of her with a yelp.

this one has a vision! get her!

lumine ducks when they try to grab at her, aiming a punch at the closest person who tries to block her way and summoning her element once more and freezing their feet on the ground. the great thing about fontaine is that the air always feels wet, water easily found in every nook and cranny of the city.

she sprints out of the alley despite her heels, her other hand fumbling with her phone, ajax's number immediately populating on the screen. ]

[He'd just climbed into his car and started his return journey back to his own penthouse when the phone rings. On the giant display in front of him, he sees Lumine's number light it up, his eyes going wide in surprise. That's not who he expected to hear from, and he quickly answers it with a press of a button on the display.]

Lumine, hello, I'm surprised to hear-

[He's immediately cut off by her voice. What...]

[ to say she's anxious and distressed is the understatement of the century, so much so that she practically yells his name when the call picks up. ]

Ajax!

[ lumine's voice is strained, close to tears. and yet she's managed to hold them back, unwilling to disturb the cab driver who kindly stopped in front of her when she frantically waved at him. she should be calling aether right now, not this jerk who led her on a crazy goose chase a couple of weeks ago, and yet those men's words lingered in her head, throbbing like a tattoo.

volkov. she's been seen with that volkov boy. ]

Have you— [ she takes a deep breath, pushing down any sense of panic or anxiety in her tone. it's hard, her breathlessness still translating into the call. ] Are you still pursuing that idiocy from two weeks ago?

[ depending on his answer, she might just punch him when she sees him again. in any case, she does pause when the cab driver looks at her with sympathy through the rearview mirror.

miss, are you sure you shouldn't be heading to the hospital? you're bleeding. ]

[The way she yells into the phone, sends him into a panic. Something's happened, something bad. But she's on the phone with him now, so she's okay maybe? Perhaps she's not. His eyes dart back and forth across the road as he listens, his mind already starting to think of what situation she might be in that would cause her to sound like she's on the verge of tears.]

Y-Yes, but I haven't taken any actions yet. Just more research. I'm starting to feel like a history professor here.

[But that doesn't feel important now, he needs to know what happened to her, why she sounds so frantic. He's concerned, his voice conveying that as he asks her questions.]

But Lumine, you sound like someone's chased you down the street or something. What happened? Are you okay?

[ yes.

archons, lumine wants to get out of the cab that very moment and find him in the city just so she can punch him in the face again. but since she can't do that and that's probably suicidal, she simply closes her eyes, putting a hand on her neck where she can still feel the cold blade of the knife against her skin. the cab driver was right; she really was bleeding. ]

It's okay, I'm fine.

[ though whether that's directed to the driver who just gives her a nod or to ajax, she doesn't really clarify. she just remains silent, going through some of the things those men spoke about.

the volkovs. an ancient grudge. she's needed alive. ]

... Stop whatever it is you're doing. Don't look into this anymore, Ajax. Please. I don't know what you managed to find out so far, but this is getting out of hand already.

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