insurmountable | i'm dragging a heart that weighs a ton / holding out for not just anyone

[ his words sound and feel like a death toll to her heart, ringing loudly as it announces its execution. but lumine simply closes her eyes, drowning out all cries of despair and protestations with the pounding of her blood in her ears. she can feel the other lumine desperately fighting back, trying to overwhelm her once more but she digs her heels and holds her ground. it's happened once; it's not going to happen again, she thinks.

a moment later, she's looking back up at him, a blank expression on her face. lumine gives him a slight nod, swallowing the invisible lump down her throat. ]

Don't worry, I'll be fine.

[ she's gotten good at lying lately, at hiding things with a poker face. it seems a necessity, given their current circumstances, and it'll simply grow in its importance as she goes along. for the sake of protecting aether, then she has to do everything, even break her own heart.

admittedly, a part of her was afraid that he would insist otherwise. instead, he says the words she hasn't had the courage to say last time. ]

... I'm sorry it's come to this, but I think this is for the best for us.

[Ajax looks back at his food, his appetite completely gone from this conversation. Standing up, he finds his jacket that had been displaced at some point during their activities, scooping it up and slipping it on as he prepares to leave. He can barely bring himself to look at her, feeling as if someone had dropped a weight on his chest that crushes his heart and every vein in his body.

Nothing about this was fair. Nothing about this made him happy, and now he feels as if he has to walk out the door on the one person he feels as if he's ever really loved, and it felt suffocating.]

...Please continue to visit the statues, just in case. I don't want to read your obituary in the news, or hear that you or Aether have gone missing.

[Because he will find out, as information flows from ear to mouth to ear. As he finishes getting dressed, he stops in front of her, his eyes unable to hide the pain that tightens his chest before he speaks his last words.]

I guess...this is goodbye, then.

[ lumine remains seated, her gaze carefully kept onto a point on the wall. she can hear him shuffling around, but still, she keeps quiet and rifles through her thoughts, her list of things to do. it keeps her distracted for a moment, the voice in her head subdued and pushed back, stifled as she was when the spirit tried to take over her body.

keeping apart will make sure they stay as they are, and isn't that something that deeply matters for them? to be themselves, to live their own lives without anyone meddling. perhaps, in the long run, the gods would leave them alone if both childe and lumine have been supressed enough.

... wishful thinking, but who's to say it's not possible?

she briefly turns to look at him when he pauses in front of her. and there's that heavy, oppressive temptation to reach out to him. to touch his face, to intertwine their fingers, to embrace him and kiss him and cling to him. instead, she lowers her gaze, unable to meet his eyes.

she's caused this pain in him, after all. what right does she have to face him? ]

Yes, it is, [ she almost chokes out the words, breath catching in her throat. she inhales deeply. ] Goodbye, Ajax. Take care of yourself.

[Every part of him desperately wants to deny that this is real, that this is happening. His hand grips into the fabric of his pants, eyes closing tightly as he tries to compose himself. He's glad she's not looking at him in that moment, as he teeth grit to hold back the overwhelming sadness that wells in his chest.

His feet are like lead as he walks to the door, leaving without another word closing it silently behind him. The world outside of that hotel room seemed more grey than it had been just hours before, basked in the moonlight that he'd normally look up at and reminisce fondly about his family and his hometown. It's a hard walk back to his own hotel, barely sleeping a wink that night. The plane leaves a few days later- he still can't think of anything else but Lumine the entire way. It's almost as if he'd cut a piece of his own heart out, leaving a hole that only she could fill, and yet knowing that it would be missing that piece for as long as he wanted to stay himself.

What a cruel price to pay.]

-------

[A week goes by, and Ajax has busied himself with his own duties, but has been noticeably more somber in the office. He continues to keep people watching the twins, but doesn't do much outside of receive reports that they are safe and that no Dufont cronies seem to be pursuing them. It's the only thing that puts him at ease, knowing that they were safe for the time being. But a small amount of anxiety still plagues him, not knowing when that lull would finally end. In his offtime, he researches more on Celestia, trying to figure out their weaknesses and how they may work, but not much comes up.

It's one late afternoon when he finally gets a text from Aether, his phone lighting up. Here we go.]

[ aether knows there's something wrong from the moment he returns to the inn that evening. it isn't exactly strange for lumine to be caught up in her own work, but for his sister to be glued to her laptop and phone, a blank expression on her face the entire time, especially when they both agreed to spend time together for the duration of their stay in inazuma is just out of character. still, he says nothing about it, assuming that she's simply upset about the events prior.

he's upset about it, too: the gods, the spirit who tried to possess lumine, being scolded by whatever that was that took over ajax's body. but his twin sister seems to be taking it to a whole other level, even more so upon returning home. and seeing that he hasn't seen a single strand of ginger hair since that day ...

only an idiot wouldn't be able to put two and two together. and aether likes to think he's at least smarter than his twin sister or ajax in a lot of ways. ]

You and Lumi got into a fight, didn't you?

[ look, he can only think of a few reasons why lumine is currently drowning herself in work, coming home late and spending more time in the office, and skipping meals. he's only seen her a few times like this, and it's always because she's mad about something. ]

Man. If it's your fault, you should apologise.

We didn't have a fight at all. We just had to discuss some hard topics surrounding our special circumstances.

[Apologize, right...he's not even sure what he should be sorry for other than the fact that he can't see her anymore.]

It wasn't pleasant, but we did what we thought was best.

[ special circumstances, his ass. he doesn't have to hide anything from him, y'know. ]

Are you sure that what you did was for the best? Lumine sure doesn't look like she's at her best at the moment.

Believe me, I'm not either.

[It's the small amount of honesty he can afford Aether. He wishes he could explain. But he can't.]

There was some talk about how this is beginning to involve my family, how close it all got...she's worried, and I am too. We would have preferred it not come to this, but we had to try something.

[It wrenches his heart to even type it. That's what she'd said...they had to try something.]

[ ......................... he'd buy that if ajax's family is normal. but aether, of all people, knows that he doesn't just belong to a normal family. his family has always had enemies; this is nothing new for them. ]

Your family? When you guys have had it worse in the past?

We've never dealt with ancient gods before, Aether.

[Ancient gods and fragments of the past that live inside of them. He runs his hand through his hair again. There may be no way of pacifying his friend, and honestly? He can't blame Aether at all.]

This whole thing became a mess. It might be easier to hide if we're not together. I insisted on being there with you in Inazuma, and look what happened. They nearly got all of us.

[It's such a bullshit excuse and he knows it. He knows it's not good to be apart, especially in a time like this. But what can he do?]

There's only been a handful of times in the past where I've seen Lumine like this.

She skips meals, she sleeps for a few hours, she overloads herself with work, she spends more hours in the office than at home, she also doesn't talk to me that much anymore. The last time I saw her like this, she made a tiny mistake that almost cost the entire company.

[ honestly, he feels helpless as a brother to see his twin sister like this. there's nothing he could say because he doesn't know what to say. there's nothing he could do because he doesn't know what to do. ]

I'd normally blame you, but I'm sure Lumi had a hand in it, too. You two might want to rethink this "best" idea that you both had.

[He sits quietly with his phone in his hand for several minutes, thinking. He had no idea she was taking this so badly, but then again, he's not taking it well himself. Feelings rush back into him as strongly as they did when he'd said goodbye, his whole body beginning to ache with how badly he missed her. But he's not even sure if Lumine would even go for a different plan, given how stubborn she can be.]

Maybe you're right. I'm sorry Aether. Maybe we can come up with something else, if she'll speak to me about it.

[ there's nothing but radio silence right after that. no texts, no calls, nothing. it's not the first time aether's gone silent on him in the middle of a conversation, and it's not going to be the last either. or at least, that's what ajax can assume.

instead, his phone rings a few hours later, aether's name flashing on his screen. but it's not his voice that greets him but lumine's, reminiscent of that one time she rang him weeks ago after an attack. ]

Ajax, where's Aether!

[ her voice sounds hoarse as if she's been shouting for the past several minutes, panicked and terrified. ]

[The frantic voice on the other side of the line throws him, not expecting it to be Lumine. Why is she calling him from Aether's phone? What happened? His anxiety spikes, somehow already knowing the answer.]

I-I don't know, he's gone?

[He had reports from his guys that everything was in the clear.]

I just got a text a few minutes ago from one of my guys that everything looked good. Lumine, tell me what happened. Are you sure he didn't just step out?

[Ajax is trying to keep his voice level and calm, but his heart races. Did they manage to get in and grab Aether?]

[ she doesn't reply immediately, heavy footsteps responding to his questions as she runs all over the apartment, calling for her twin brother. more loud noises follow in its wake as if lumine is currently turning the apartment inside out. maybe, just maybe, he's managed to hide somewhere, waited until whoever it was who came here to leave.

but lumine finds no trace of her brother, and she quickly returns to the phone call, completely out of breath and in tears. ]

What looked good, the outside of the building? Because the apartment sure doesn't look anything but!

[ glass broken everywhere, paper scattered all over the floor, and there's a dark stain on the rug in the living room that looks suspiciously like blood. she doesn't dare check it, afraid of what it might confirm. but it's clear to her that there was an altercation that had happened some time before she arrived home. ]

I asked you to protect Aether personally!

Okay, okay. Hold on.

[She's crying, this can't be good. He's already jumping to some of the more terrible of conclusions, given the circumstances. Did they really get in and grab Aether so easily? Without any of his guys knowing? He's got to think.

Think Ajax, think.]

Okay. Stay there, I'll be there soon. I'm leaving right now, and I'll have people guarding the entrances and exits, okay? I need to see what's happened.

[Anything that'll tell him what and where Aether might of gone to. He rushes out the door, phone still in hand to jump in his car, tearing out of his driveway toward the twin's apartment.

He can only hope for the best...but the sinking feeling in his stomach tells him that he's only going to find the worst case scenario here.]

Edited 2022-06-22 18:15 (UTC)

[ lumine also needs to calm down, but it's hard to calm down in these circumstances. was it because she stayed longer in the office today? if she had gone home with aether, would she have been able to prevent this? thoughts of various possibilities cross her mind, each one worse than the last. she falls on her knees on the floor, trembling. ]

This is my fault. I should've gone home with him ...

[ she almost lets out a dry sob, pressing the back of her hand over her mouth to muffle it. what if he's in danger? what if they've hurt him? the stain on the carpet is very telling. ]

I can't forgive myself if something happens to him.

[It tugs at his heart to hear her like this. Ajax's voice is calm and soft, to reassure her, to try to give some comfort. It won't be long before he's there, but right now, he'll do his best to be there for her.]

No it's not. It's not your fault at all. We're going to find your brother, okay? Don't blame yourself for this, Lumine.

[She doesn't deserve to go through this. None of them do. He can feel his temper rise at the thought of those goons grabbing Aether, not knowing what they did to him. He'd kill them, he swears it.]

It's them. They're the ones who did this.

[ his words bring her little comfort, knowing what they're up against and what the predecessors' fates were.

aether's especially, since she's kept him in the dark for the most part and it's only recently that he found out what's going. and even then, what he knows is limited. he doesn't even have the original powers he had, relying solely on his vision and nothing else. if anything were to happen to him ... if he was, in any way, in trouble ...

whenever ajax shows up, he'll find her on her knees on the floor, shaking and crying, aether's phone cradled in her hands. she's been calling several people, asking them if they've seen her brother or if he's with them. but no dice, they all tell her no. ]

Mm, okay ... [ she says to the other person on the line, clearing her throat to sound calm. ] I'll let you know soon if I find him ...

[He steps into the apartment through the already open door, and the sight of it is distressing. Broken glass, signs of a struggle, a patch of blood on the floor. Plants tossed about. There's no doubt that this is the work of the Dufonts, because who else would break into some tech dude's apartment and kidnap him. It makes him sick on the inside to see it, and his heart drops like a rock when he sees her on the floor.

Ajax crosses the room quickly to her, dropping down on his knees and pulling her into his arms for a tight hug the moment she's off the phone.]

Lumine.

[His voice is worried, and yet relieved to see her safe. He squeezes his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. It was the longest week of his life, and now to see her like this- it was enough to tear him apart. But he can't let that ruin him, Aether is gone, and he has to work quickly to find him before they get too far.]

[ she barely hears him arrive, only looking up when he pulls her to hug. and it's only then that all of her emotions in the past week rush out of her like water through a broken dam, her arms coming around to wrap around him.

lumine buries her face into his chest, holding onto him tightly. the past week had been hard and terrible, like a part of her had been gouged and tossed out. but that's also a choice she's made and a choice she's decided to go through with. and now this had to happen, as if the remaining gods of this world still continue to toy with her and her family. ]

Ajax, [ she cries, her voice muffled against him. her throat burns from all the yelling, talking that she's done. ] We have to find Aether! He might be in trouble.

[ or worse. they're unspoken words but it's obvious enough that that's what's going through her head that very moment. ]

You promised you'd protect him!

[As he holds her, his head falls over the top of hers, tucking her head under his chin. His breathing is steady, but his emotions are not- it's like a whirlwind of chaos that he can't control, seeing the apartment tossed about like this. He's scared that the blood is Aether's, because he's not sure if the man carried any kind of knife on him. Sure he had his vision, but searing flames wouldn't cause that spill.]

I know, and I'm sorry.

[There's not much consolation to give here, knowing that he'd failed again to protect the twins.]

I should have been here and I wasn't. I'm sorry. That's on me.

[No more being able to rely on his guys- not that they aren't capable, but they're just not up to snuff against people with the gods backing them.]

I talked to him a few hours ago, so they couldn't of gotten far. Do you want me to take you anywhere while I figure this out? Somewhere safe, somewhere where they'd have quite the time trying to find you.

[ despite her words, lumine doesn't fully blame him. after all, she was at fault too. they had agreed to this arrangement, and she had said that she'd take care of aether in the process. did she put her twin brother in danger out of her own selfishness? she can't imagine doing that deliberately, but who's to say she didn't do it right now?

her fingers curl tightly around his shirt, closing her eyes. her mind quickly goes on overdrive, imagining what sorts of trouble aether's currently in. ]

I can't leave. I called the police ... [ because this doesn't look like someone had just upped and left, and aether will never leave her without telling her anything. ] They'll have questions.

[ and she'll be called in as a suspect if she suddenly disappears. ]

[He can feel how her hands curl into his shirt, knowing that she is probably worrying herself about Aether's condition and whereabouts. Ajax would gladly sit with her for a while, to let her cry and get it all out, but time is against them. He needs to think and formulate a plan, and figure out how they got in and out. Where they got in and out.]

Okay, [he says, pulling away and putting his hands on her shoulders,] then stay here and answer any questions they have. When they're gone, call me, because I'm going to come and pick you up. If the police find me here, they're going to put me on their watch list, as we can't have that. It's good I haven't touched anything but you since I got here.

[He pulls his phone out of his pocket, sending a few quick texts. His guys have to maneuver to make sure the police don't find them. He stands, looking around the room, but especially taking note of how they got in and out- the window. He takes a pair of black gloves out of his pocket, slipping them on, before walking over to the bloodstain first. Not good. They probably knocked Aether out to get him to stop struggling.]

I need to take a look around. Especially up on the roof. Hopefully I'll find something that'll tell me a little more about where they took Aether.

[ right. of course, he's right. since she called the police, they'll have to start an investigation, and seeing that it's only she and aether who have been living in this house, there shouldn't be other prints or signs that another person is around. still, she knows ajax will want to try and figure out what happened too.

lumine gives him a slight nod, pulling her hands away and letting him get back up on his feet. she too staggers back up, sighing under her breath. somehow, her mind is a complete mess, a jumble of thoughts that she's unable to rein in and compose. this would've been easier if it was her instead of aether. ]

Okay ... [ she says quietly, nodding again. she walks over to the sofa, glancing around if her brother has left anything else. ] Okay ...

[ it's not long before she hears a ring on their landline, and lumine gives a quiet response to the reception downstairs. the police have arrived, it seems. ]

You have to go, Ajax.

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