just pay me back | with one thousand kisses (closed)

[punchesyu]

[It hadn't been too long after Yu had fallen asleep, that Yosuke leaned over from his sitting position, resting his upper body on one arm on the side of the bed while keeping his hand curled into the palm of his sleeping partner. He'd laid his head down, and almost as soon as his own eyes closed, sleep took him. It hadn't mattered where he was, exhaustion from the past twenty-four hours or so had taken a toll. And he was grateful to be able to rest, finally.

Yu, of course, wasn't able to get up right away and take care of himself. And thankfully because of how far Yosuke was away from home, they'd made an exception for him and given him a place to sleep in the hospital itself as preparations were made to return the two teens to their home planet. There wasn't very many places he could go anyway- they had his name, his profile, even his genetic code on file. The people who'd stolen him away to begin with would be on the lookout for the Earth boy that was extracted recently. It would be easier to keep him there, someplace already known to be safe and well out of the enemy's sight.

Not that he minded. He could see Yu anytime he wanted save for when the nurses and doctors had to tend to him every now and again. And there wasn't any way he wasn't going to abuse that privilege. He'd make sure Yu had what he needed or wanted, though not without whining sometimes. Though it wasn't so bad, sometimes he'd get to check out the hot nurses as he left Yu's room to retrieve things. In a small way, it was a win-win situation for him.

However, the day finally comes when Yosuke comes walking into the room, grinning. He'd received some good news, and a tray with some hot food is placed in front of Yu on the small folding table that was attached to the hospital bed. He doesn't bother to sit- he's too full of energy to be able to sit still at the moment.]

Yo! I brought you some breakfast. Eat up, because we've got a lot ahead of us today!

Comments

[punchesyu]

[He sucks in fresh air, letting the sun warm his face as he shoves half of his body outside to try to clear his head. It was too much. It's everything he can do to try to let this refresh him a little, but that small little word- partner- floats through his ears and he can feel his heart drop and his face burn in guilty embarrassment. It was subtle, but Yosuke can hear it, his jaw dropping as his mind goes places that he's never dared to go before. The teen can't even bear to turn around and look at his friend; no, his boyfriend, a word that he hasn't quite associated with the two of them yet.

It was still surreal to think about. But the warm sensation that rises up in his chest was an indicator of it, more than anything else. Yosuke gulps, and turns slowly around to see Yu trying to find something clearly buried in his covers. He thanks everything that Yu isn't staring at him, and does whatever he can to regain his composure. This, of course, is done by getting angry.]

Go ahead and do your stupid walking by yourself! And keep your eyes to yourself too! Jerk.

[He realizes that Yu, as always, was trying to get him riled up again. He walks back over to the bed, making sure Yu was okay first, then starts to help him dig through the covers for whatever it is the other was looking for. His face is clearly still flushed.]

What are we even looking for anyway...you shoulda waited so I coulda helped you out of bed.

[covenantal]

[ His boyfriend.

Yu, at least, is smiling a little to himself as he looks for his lost socks, and ducks his chin a little as Yosuke joins him. He really does love this stupid goof, for whatever that means for both of them. Not for the first time and not for the last, he's glad to be alive. ]

I could, [ he says slowly, ] but it'd be awfully lonely, don't you think?

[ With a sideways grin. Which part is he talking about, the walking or keeping his eyes to himself...? ]

My socks. They're here somewhere. And I'm alright. As long as I'm careful, I don't tug anything. [ Ah -- with a victorious yank, Yu manages to retrieve sock number one. ] There we go.

[punchesyu]

[Yosuke shoots up straight from looking through the covers, unsure of how to take that. Being hit on like that, even if it's referring to the walking or his eyes, is not something he's used to. He glances over nervously as Yu plucks the sock from the covers, composure lost once again to the words of Yu Narukami. Sometimes he thinks to himself how incredibly unfair it is that he has this power over Yosuke to get him to flip out like this all the time, even when he tries to play him at his own game.

He quickly searches for the other sock himself, maybe a little too hurriedly, finding it and yanking it quickly out to hand to Yu.]

There, here's your stupid sock. I can't believe you were worried about this, so just put them on already so we can start.

[So he can stop thinking intrusive thoughts, stuff he didn't want to think on right now, memories he didn't want to think about either. Like a certain kiss in a hospital bed that had happened not too long ago, one he enjoyed and was thinking about again. Entertaining the very idea of doing it again was making him flip out, but then, he wonders if Yu was saying these things just to get him to think about it.]

[covenantal]

[ It probably is a little unfair. Unfair how much fun it is to wind him up.

Yu can't help a chuckle as he takes the other sock from Yosuke, bundling both against his chest. Without thinking, his other arm reaches out for Yosuke's. Standing up and sitting down have become complex processes since his near-death experience, and Yosuke will be used to this by now. He needs help for even the littlest things, like sitting down. You don't realize how much you engage your core muscles for things like that until you can't use them, and he can't sit down without help. He won't be able to for weeks. It gnaws at him, this helplessness, and Yosuke will know that too from the occasional shadows that pass over his eyes. Joking around is keeping the shadows at bay today.

Provided Yosuke lets Yu grip his arm for balance, he'll lever himself down to sit again and get those socks on. ]

I did ask for slippers. They said they didn't have any.

[ As if that's the real concern at hand. Once he's done, he'll need Yosuke's help to stand up again, and he'll glance up at his partner with a true smile. Ready? ]

[punchesyu]

[It's not even a question, Yosuke moves close to Yu to let him grip onto his arm, and supports him with it and steadies him with his free hand on his shoulder. He can't imagine what it's like to always need that support, but he's more than willing to provide it. And he'd continue to do so until Yu was well enough to stand and sit on his own, no matter how long it took. The concern has finally worn off, knowing that this is normal for the time being, and he speaks while Yu puts his socks on.]

What kind of hospital doesn't have slippers? But, the treatment is free...

[He offers his arm once more to help Yu stand again, grounding himself to take on the added weight.]



Where do you wanna walk to today? We don't have to go too far, don't wanna wear you out. [He winks.] But, they've actually got a nice garden out back. Probably just for this kind of thing.

[covenantal]

[ It's a somewhat laborious process, as always, just to put socks on. He's grateful as ever for Yosuke's patience. He finds himself seeking ... anything, really, some small sign that Yosuke must be getting tired of this, taking care of him like he's an old man. He's used to being almost self-sacrificing in his own self-sufficiency, so to suddenly flip over into this kind of dependency on another person is hard on him. But the signs he finds himself searching for never come, and he ends up only chastising himself for looking in the first place. Time, he thinks. Time, and faith in his friend. Boyfriend. Partner. All three of those things.

Once he's back on his feet he manages to stand straight, leaning on Yosuke only slightly. He's still hooked up to an IV - he needs to be - but it's mobile, and an easier one to move around than on Earth. After all, it's just a little pod he has to carry around that his nurses change out every so often. Technology, right?

The wink gets one corner of Yu's mouth to quirk. ]

A garden, huh... alright, let's head there. I like the sound of that. I'm tired of just sitting around. I want to see how far I can make it. I'll be alright, I promise. Show me the way.

[punchesyu]

Sure.

[He starts to walk with Yu slowly, not too fast so as not to throw his partner's balance off. Not over the hard linoleum floor, at least. He pays attention to those details- if Yu looked like he was tired, hurting, not to mention how bad he must feel that he had to rely on Yosuke to get around. But the teen knew that this is what his partner needed, and Yu could go ahead and let himself feel like that for all he cared. He'd just have to get over it, and Yosuke was going to make sure that Yu knew that he'd take care of him every step of the way. It's the least he could do, after coming here, to Tera. For getting him out of the mess, sacrificing everything to make sure he was okay and safe, out of their filthy hands.

And one thing he never does, he never presses how Yu has to depend on him, or bring it up to make fun of him. It didn't feel right, and he could never bring himself to tease him that way. He was too grateful. Too in love, even, though Yosuke might not completely comprehend that now.]

It's a good thing your room is on the first floor. We can just head out there instead of having to stand around and wait for a dumb elevator. [The hallway is long, but smaller hallways are attached with doors that lead outside to the back garden. Nurses and doctors, other employees of the rescuers walk by, and one even nods to Yu in acknowledgement.]

Guess you're popular around here, huh?

[covenantal]

[ Yosuke may have started to notice other little things, too. Like the fact that Yu favors one side when he's walking - his left side. Opposite the side of his exit wound, a still-healing half-open snarl on his right hip. That injury tugs when he walks, you see, and his stride on his left side is a little easier. Small details like that. He doesn't really try to hide it, though pride might otherwise demand he do so. But there's no real need to do so around Yosuke. He lets his parter support him and just takes it slow and easy, taking steady breaths and focusing on the walk itself.

It gets easier every single day. That's his hope. That's what drives him forward. That this is getting better. That he'll get better again. He lived. That's what matters.

The employee that nods to Yu gets a spark of recognition and a nod in return. Yosuke gets a wry smile. ]

I got to know some other employees of Interstellar on my way here. I haven't seen many since... [ A beat. ] Anyway, that was one of them. Guess he must have some business at the hospital today.

[ Two young nurses, cute things, will pass by shortly after that, and Yu gives his friend a nudge. His expression remains clear, but somehow, something about his very body language has a hint of mischief to it. ]

you think i couldn't reply to this before bed? you were wrong if you thought that

[punchesyu]

Yeah...

[His head follows the employee as they pass, noting the uniform. It was the same as the ones that came from the helicopter to airlift Yu away and to this hospital- something he'll never forget. He peels his eyes off of the employee, wondering how he'd look in that uniform one day. As if it were a question that he wouldn't wear it eventually.]

...we really owe them one. I'm glad that-



[The nudge cuts him off completely, as his eyes go a little wide at how cute those nurses are. His breath catches in his throat as he awkwardly stares a little at them, and Yu's body language alone makes his face flush a bright red. The nurses whisper to each other, smiles across their faces as they eye the two boys walking down the hallway. Yosuke catches a bit of their conversation-]

...at him, blushing like that! They're so cute, I heard the grey-haired one came for him. They must be dating...



[As they pass, Yosuke feels a variety of emotions wash through him- embarrassment, denial, anxiety. He's mortified. Yet at the same time, he feels that connection to the boy using his arm as support, love, and resolution. Like he wants to crawl under a rock, but only if he can go underneath it with Yu in tow. It's not right, and he knows it's not right to want to hide it, but he does.]



Did you just hear them-!!!! [He hisses, quietly.] Does everyone know we're kinda...you know! [Together. He can't say it, though.]

monster.

[covenantal]

[ Kinda...?

> "Kinda what?"
> "Dating, you mean?"
> Say nothing

Yu's silent for a moment, though he's unable to keep from reacting himself at what the nurses said, ducking his chin slightly and huffing through his nose.

I heard the grey-haired one came for him.

A thousand times, the more romantic piece of his mind thinks. He'd have come a thousand times, died a thousand times, if it meant saving the person on whose arm he's balancing right now. The person who, at the moment, is a little mortified to so much as admit they might be kind of an item.

Yu doesn't mind it, really. He never imagined Yosuke would want this at all, in the three long months he spent on the way here. If he survived the mission at all, he hadn't actually planned to tell Yosuke his feelings, and he'd admitted as much. To not only get to express his true feelings but to have them returned in kind is more than he could ever have hoped for, and he's happy. He knew his best buddy would be skittish at best about being with another guy, and he doesn't take it as an insult that Yosuke is so appalled at being even potentially called on it. He knows it's not a slight against him personally or anything like that. It's just how Yosuke is.

They keep walking as he considers his words, drawing closer to the garden. When he does respond, he takes a fourth option. ]

Sorry, partner. It must be my fault.

[ He glances askance at Yosuke with those peculiar gray eyes of his, the slant of his mouth something that could be a smile in the right light. ]

I guess they must just see how I look at you.

[ The way he says it is quiet. Not exactly gentle, but also sincere. It's that kind of thing where he might be messing with you, but it's so earnest, and comes from a place so true, that you're not sure if he's just expressing how he really feels or not. ]

it's what i do

[punchesyu]

Huh?

[It's an expression of wonder, words that add on to his mild panic attack that he's suffering from now. Everything happens within a breadth of a second- not fully comprehending what exactly Yu was meaning to say with those words, what it meant, if it had a double meaning. It's sincere enough Yosuke takes it at face value for a hair of time, then quickly realizes exactly who he's speaking to. The next fraction of a second is spent with flushed cheeks still, anger boiling in his chest at the idea that he's being had again. But he's not being had, is he? He thinks twice over, that maybe Yu isn't trolling him and he really did mean it.

Yosuke has seen how Yu looks at him now. In private, it doesn't bother him. There's a small part of him that was expecting this for a long time coming. So many things that just add up to this particular scenario, the one where Yu finally expresses his feelings for his friend. For him to say that isn't unfounded, and that perhaps is why Yosuke is having such a hard time deciphering whether or not his goat is being got.

In the end, he decides that it doesn't matter if he's being trolled or not- the fact of the matter is, people are noticing.]

Then could you look a little less??? I'm not ready for this to come out yet! I don't want to be called 'cute' for being with another dude! What the hell does that make me? I'm not the woman in this relationship!

[He exclaims, despite the fact that he indeed, is the woman in this relationship.]

How are we gunna tell everyone at home...? This is way too complicated...! This isn't what I imagined my life to be! We're going to catch it when we get back! I'll never hear the end of it! Oh man! Just shoot me now!

[covenantal]

[ For the record, the ratio of goat-getting to sincerity was roughly 10-to-90. He meant that. There was a little teasing involved, but that was 100% how he really felt. He just also knew it would rile Yosuke up to hear it. The response is expected, and at first, all Yu does is smile in return, the expression a small and steady one. He might otherwise protest there aren't any women in this relationship, because obviously, and isn't Yosuke taking it a little hard?

But the rest of the complaints make Yu's expression shift. While Yosuke rants, Yu simply watches him, his mouth and eyes changing shape into something unknowable, and after a beat of time, he looks away. ]

We don't have to tell anyone, [ is all he says, calm, measured. He's no longer smiling, but that's not that strange. He just seems like his usual calm self. Right?

With all this walking and talking, they've reached the doors to the garden. Yu will reach out to a button on the wall that, when pressed, causes both doors to slowly swing out automatically, permitting the two boys to exit into the much more peaceful garden. It's green and sweet and quiet, and they will find themselves alone. ]

[punchesyu]

[It isn't Yu's voice, or his face that makes Yosuke realize that he's said something that bothered him. When Yu reaches for the button to open the door, Yosuke's head turns to really look at him for a moment. It was Yu looking away, in the middle of a rant, though he's not sure if it would bother him. There's something that nags him at the back of his mind that maybe that was too far. Or maybe it hit something too close to home, or something else. He's not a mind reader, so he isn't sure. Yu might just be trying to be considerate of his own feelings of being uncomfortable with this, but he can't dismiss how he hadn't poked a little fun somewhere.

He quiets, walking with Yu out into the garden. He's been out here before while he was exploring the place, so he knows there's a bench behind a hedge next to a nice flower bed full of purple bellflowers that would be a good resting place for when Yu needed it. He starts to steer in that direction, helping keep balance.]

How are you doing now? [He chooses not to address the prior subject yet, but he'll get to it.] You made it pretty far. I think you might be better before you know it.

[He says in support, trying to lighten the mood a little.]

[covenantal]

[ His steps have slowed now that they're out here. Not because he's tired, though he is. This is the farthest he's managed to walk since ... well. And it's wearing on him, bit by bit, loathe though he is to give into the slow creep of physical exhaustion from so little exertion. But what's really slowing his steps is just being outside. All he's seen of the outside world since the day of the rescue gone wrong is what he's been able to glimpse out any windows he's passed. Actually being outside is a wonderful reprieve, and he breathes the fresh air deeply.

Still, Yosuke will be able to notice that the further they go, the more heavily Yu starts to lean on him. It's a smart decision to find a place for the two of them to sit down.

The supportive comment gets a small smile to come back, and he dips his head. ]

I'm alright. [ It's a hedged answer, but only slightly. ] I'm glad I could make it this far at all. Can't say I'd mind a place to sit down, though.

[punchesyu]

Okay. It's right over here.

[He bolsters himself for the extra weight, handled easily enough. Yu could take all the time in the world to gaze upon the outside world, he knows he hasn't seen it in some time. And it probably looks a lot better now, in the sunlight and being in such a pretty setting than what he saw last. Yosuke matches his pace, and not before long they reach the bench. He turns so that Yu can use him as an aid to sit, steadying himself and letting him sit before he sits down next to him.]

This is your first time, right? Being out here since surgery. Pretty nice, isn't it?

[He leans over to look at Yu, smiling brightly, hoping to convey that Yosuke himself is okay despite his earlier reaction. He'd like to focus on the positives for the moment, before bringing up that subject again.]

[covenantal]

[ Considering the last time he saw it the sky was dark and he was scared and dying?

This is a vast improvement, yeah.

Yu sits down with a bit of a sigh, and lets his eyes slip shut once he's settled. He'll open his eyes again after Yosuke's second question, glancing over at his partner, and that smile gets something in his chest to soften a little. Carefully - lightly, carefully, so carefully, and with a quiet gladness for the fact that they are very firmly alone - Yu lets himself lean against Yosuke's side. Were their positions switched he couldn't; his wounds would prevent him from being comfortable. His left hip is radiating discomfort at the moment, and he's glad to lean off it slightly, emitting one small hiss as he shifts his body into a better position. But then he sighs again, easing back onto the bench and slightly, oh so slightly, onto Yosuke.

He hopes it's alright. He really doesn't know. ]

Yeah. I haven't been outside since the day of the rescue.

[ They haven't spoken about it much, that day. They talk about it with euphemisms. The surgery, the rescue. Yu doesn't mind. He thinks he should be stronger about it, braver, but it still chills him to think about, the dying. ]

We should start trying to come out here once a day, maybe. As part of my therapy. [ He means it, glancing at Yosuke to see what he thinks. ] It's a good place to start.

[punchesyu]

[There's no sign of discomfort from Yosuke as Yu leans on him in the slightest bit. He exhales, feeling a little weight on his heart with the weight that's put against his side, even if it's not much. It's important to him that he lets Yu get comfortable, shifting the best he can to help achieve that. Yosuke's nervous energy is starting to become more apparent, though it isn't from the physical contact. He fidgets with his hands a bit, words on the tip of his tongue that don't come spilling out quite yet.]

Yeah, we can totally do that. It'll be good for you, plus the fresh air can't hurt. You know, being stuffed up in that room's gotta make a guy go stir crazy.

[He says a little quickly. Maybe a little too nervous.]



Hey, Yu... [He says, fidgeting a little more.] Listen, about what I said back there. The whole, telling people at home about...us. I...went a little too far with that, didn't I.

[He just says it. There's no other way to put it, not that he can think of.]

wwwwwaaaAAAAAHHHHHHH

[covenantal]

[ Yosuke isn't the only one who can read subtle changes in body language around here. Yu feels more than he sees Yosuke gets nervous, and simply waits out the fidgeting and the nervous energy, not replying to anything that's said and instead letting his eyes slip shut again.

He is glad that Yosuke agrees they can start walking out here regularly; that's one thing out of the way. But it isn't the most important thing right now, and Yu lets it go until Yosuke can get out the words he's really meaning to say.

Once he does, Yu still doesn't speak. He does reopen his eyes, though they remain half-lidded and his gaze falls on his own hands, which are gently curled in his lap. For once, he's not sure what to say. Was it too far? He's not sure. He knows Yosuke can't help how he feels.

This isn't what I imagined my life to be!

When he speaks, his voice is unusually quiet, even for him. ]

I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable.

[ Even if the unspoken fear remains deep down in his heart: what if that thing is us? ]

huehuehue

[punchesyu]

Dude, I...

[He has to exhale heavily. He knew it. He had a feeling something about his exclamation just moments ago had bothered Yu. And he knew exactly what it was too, just like anything he's ever said in the past to Kanji, or the like. He knows the comments about being creeped out by other guys, not being comfortable even in a close proximity to another if it meant something further than just sleeping in a tent for a night, were hurtful. Being close, open even, it was just a concept he had a hard time grasping. It was easier, now, to accept it from other people. But himself- it was a total enigma, with no clue how to handle it.

His shoulders slump, guilt setting in from the confirmation of Yu's quiet voice. There's an initial tightening in his chest, an anxious pain that spread that coupled with the feeling of his stomach dropping out. Of course he didn't want to make Yosuke uncomfortable. There was a line, one that he knew his partner wouldn't cross. A line that he'd crossed.

His own hands clench, unsure if he should make the gesture to take Yu's hand or not. So they stay in his own lap, as he looked downwards in shame at himself.]

I say some pretty stupid things sometimes-! [His voice uplifts a little, even though his mood doesn't quite reach the same level.] But, it's not like that. I'm just getting used to this. I never imagined that I'd ever be sitting here, on another planet, telling my partner that I loved him.

[He hesitates, but resolves himself at least to reach over finally, to take Yu's hand in his own. Yosuke lets his fingers curl around, slowly, twining them between each other before he firmly grips his hand, squeezing it once before shifting his gaze to look at his partner.]

It feels like it's happened so fast. I thought that I'd get a girlfriend eventually, maybe even get married someday. Maybe have kids or something. But now...

[He doesn't finish his sentence. Because he's actually trying to make an effort to not say something stupid.]

makes this worse????

[covenantal]

[ Riled up and outright uncomfortable were, or at least could be, two different things, after all. It took very little to get Yosuke going. But Yu was never the type to take it too far. Teasing people to the point of hurting them or pushing them into a bad position wasn't something he'd ever be able to bring himself to do, at least knowingly. There would be times he'd tease Yosuke, even flirt with him, but he'd always be careful to step back at some point.

But in some way it seemed like he'd gone too far this time, huh? Maybe not in hurting Yosuke's feelings or anything like that. But in getting him to say things that maybe would hurt them both.

Yu continues to stay quiet while Yosuke works through it, trying not to get too caught up in his own head. His chest feels tight in ways that have nothing to do with his various physical ills. He only, finally, looks up when Yosuke takes his hand and twines their fingers together, his expression shifting subtly. None of the emotions that cross his face are loud; unless you knew him, you might not register them as different expressions at all. But they're there, if you look for them; shock, uncertainty, regret, then sympathy. ]

... I never meant to push you into anything.

[ They've had enough of euphemisms. ]

I was dying. I didn't want to leave without telling you how I felt, somehow.

[ Yu looks away from him and lifts his chin, sighing through his nose and staring at the sky instead. ]

If you're not ready for this, it's alright.

THANKS A LOT????

[punchesyu]

[There was so much more going on behind those sharp, grey eyes of his, and Yosuke knew it. A lot more, he can see it on his face. Shifting, he has to wonder himself if he was ready for this. He sits quietly, reflecting back to that night for what might be the first time since then. Voluntarily, of course- his own dreams had been plagued every now and again with events similar to that night, but it was always a relief when he could see Yu safe and sound in his bed instead of dead on the ground.

He has a lot to say. But it's coming with the right words to this conversation that's hard. He thinks for a good minute, letting the silence fill the space between the two of them. The entirety of the situation wasn't one that he'd looked at closely- the big picture was set before him, but through this difficult time he could only look at magnified parts of the carefully woven tapestry.

It's now, that he steadies his breathing, to speak his mind. To speak the truth.]

Listen. You didn't push me into anything at all. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now.

[He says with a certain determination that was sincere and solid. Like he wouldn't budge on this point, no matter what.]

I'm glad you told me. Back home, I wouldn't of been able to handle it. But this isn't home. I almost lost you back there. And I don't know what I would of done if I had to go back without you. Yu... [He takes another breath.]

There's a lot of things that are really messed up in my head right now. And to be honest, I don't know if I'm ready for this either. The thought of it scares me, to go home and tell everyone that you and I...that we're more than just partners. That there's something that runs a lot deeper between the two of us. Everything has turned in a direction that I never saw coming. But...when I think about it, I think I always knew.

Like, that there's a place in my heart that always had these...feelings inside. A place that I didn't want to admit even existed. It seriously freaked me out, and I didn't know how to handle it. So I ignored it, shoved it off to the side and told myself that I was just being stupid. And instead of accepting it, I let it eat at me. I think getting to know Kanji better helped a lot, but I still didn't want to acknowledge it within myself. I chose to focus on the other things about myself that I wanted to fix, to stop letting envy get me down and focus on what I could do today, and the next. To try to live a better life. To better myself, and to be a better friend to you guys.

But when you were dying in my arms, it hit me like a semi. That I really cared about you more than words could describe. And not like in some weird way! Just because the girls want all over you, doesn't mean I do.



But there's one thing I do know. That I want to be with you, more than anyone else. I still don't know what I'm going to do after high school, but I know I want to make this work. I want to try. And listen, bro...I'm sorry if I say things like that. I'm not used to it, and I'm afraid of being humiliated in front of the entire school and my parents. I know I have to come to accept it, and maybe even someday I'll be proud. But for now, this is something I need to work on. And I'm hoping you'd be willing to work with me on it...together.

[He finally exhales once more, done with this speech. He feels better that he got it off his chest, but he also is afraid that he'd hurt Yu again. But it was the truth, and he knew that the truth wasn't always something nice and fluffy. Or they wouldn't of worked so hard, gone through so much to attain it in the TV world.]

YOU'RE WELCOME, ACTUAL LUCIFER, LOVE OF MY LIFE, APPLE OF MINE OWN EYE

[covenantal]

[ Yosuke isn't the only one that dreams. Yu hasn't fessed up to it yet, having dreams that make him wake in a terrified cold sweat, though he wonders if he won't get caught out at it eventually, with Yosuke sleeping just a few feet away each night.

This is the first time they've actually had an honest conversation about all of this, isn't it? They were probably due. Yu leans on Yosuke's shoulder and presses the pads of his fingertips into the back of Yosuke's hand and just listens quietly to what he has to say. He has always been, if nothing else, a good listener. He looks down to meet his friend's gaze when he starts to speak again, and doesn't look away again for the entirety of that ... well, what turns into quite a speech. The whole time his expression stays quiet, thoughtful. Not sad, exactly, but a close cousin to it in timbre. It's not that he feels sad, or that the words he's hearing are upsetting him; far from it, actually. It's more that he just feels emotional, and isn't entirely sure how to process it all.

He'd fought and died for his best friend. Would die for him again. Already knows, has already realized he'd die for him a thousand times. And the real truth of the matter is that he doesn't know how to handle the reality of feelings this big and this important any better than Yosuke does. They're both finding their way with something wholly new, and he's got his own insecurities and fears to face.

I think I always knew.

Heh ... the idea that all along they might have felt this way about each other, never realizing until circumstances forced their hands to move and their hearts to see ...

When Yosuke is finally done speaking, Yu can't help it: that sad look shifts by small degrees into a smile as strange and new and beautiful as the sunrise they shared together on the first day of this new life. Is it a perfect truth? No, but no truth ever is, and he'd be a fool (hah) to expect that. And he's not disappointed by Yosuke being Yosuke. He could never be. His only fear was of losing him. But hearing that conviction reminds him of times gone by, of times spent working on the case and all the passion and fire Yosuke had for bringing that mystery to an end. Yosuke was many things, but he was also true, truer than anyone he'd ever known, and wouldn't ever say these things if he didn't mean them. Didn't intend with everything he was to see them through.

Yu's smile changes again, a shape that's a little more suited to his face; something comfortable and a little more confident. ]

We're still us. That hasn't changed, even if circumstances have. And what we are is partners. I look forward to working on it with you. Nothing could make me happier.

[ He's so sincere. And when he shifts his shoulders a little, he leans in, bringing their faces close together, so close...

... so he can bump his forehead gently into Yosuke's. ]

Yosuke.

i'm so proud you've made me happy today

[punchesyu]

[He finishes his piece, unsure of what would happen next. It had been a lot, he knew it was a lot, but the words tumbled out of his mouth and once it started he couldn't stop. He felt those were things Yu needed to know, to get it out of the way so it wasn't a question later. You couldn't solve a problem if you didn't know it was there to begin with, or couldn't get help with it if you hid it away. He almost gulps in anticipation of a response, and searches Yu's face. Yosuke's eyes dart between one grey eye to the other, then down, and back up again. It felt better having Yu lean on him like this, and Yosuke realizes now that he's gripping onto Yu's hand tighter than he intended. In turn, he can feel that his partner has done something similar.

And the expression on Yu's face is comforting- that smile that he's come to know well, calm and inspiring. There's nothing else he can do but to mirror that, eyes brightening at the sight alone. Yosuke nods at the words spoken, and his eyes close as Yu's face comes closer to his own. There's no fear now, maybe a little anxiety as he's imagining that he's about to be kissed, but the kiss doesn't come. Instead, he feels the forehead bump against his own, and his eyes open in wonder. But that's quickly erased with a soft smile that crosses his features, staring back into his own reflection in the eyes of someone he loved dearly, that he's sure if the roles were switched he'd of done the same. He'd of risked everything for this person who leaned against him, shared his warmth and care and did everything in his power to make sure that his partner was safe, almost at the cost of his own life.]

...Yu.

[He can't help but grin a goofy grin now. Caught up in a rush of feelings that threatened to swallow him whole, he deals with it by laughing quietly.]

You really know how to deliver some cheesy stuff. I'd be lying if it didn't get me every time, though. [He winks, throwing his arm up around Yu's shoulder, tugging him in, though careful of his wounds. They're close enough that he presses his own forehead now against his partner's, still grinning.]

We'll get through this to the very end, just like we always do, right partner?

take your garden kisses and begone from my sight you imp

[covenantal]

[ Whatever happens back home, at least he knows for sure now they'll face it together. That he won't lose Yosuke, won't lose this thing they have together, over a little scrutiny or teasing. Okay, or even a lot. It might be hard, very hard, and there might even be times the two of them waver. But they'll make it through, the same way they've made it through every challenge since the day they met: together.

Yu laughs too when Yosuke throws an arm around his shoulders and leans into his friend with abandon now, throwing caution to the wind and simply letting himself go with the moment. It feels nice, now, this closeness. The tightness in his chest has completely dissolved and instead, all he feels is light. Their tightly clasped hands are an anchor, and Yu runs his thumb over Yosuke's skin in a single, gentle brush. ]

That's right.

[ They're already so close, all he has to do for this one is tilt his chin.

It's a different kiss than their first two, probably because this is the first one that Yu himself can actually lean into. His free arm finds its way around Yosuke's waist to give himself a little more leverage (and a little more warmth and closeness) as he presses his lips to his partner's and smiles into a kiss he means with all his heart. He may never in his life love anyone half this much, and you could feel that on him, taste that on him now.

It's a silly thing to think, maybe. But true. In this moment, for him. True. ]

i'll take them and ruin garden kisses completely

[punchesyu]

[It's not any shock to him what comes next. He expected it, somehow, the brush of Yu's lips against his own. It's a little easier this time than last- even though he does experience a small moment of repulsion in the form of his body shaking a little at the idea that he's kissing another guy. He wrestles it away, reminding himself that he was going to make an effort to be better than that. That this isn't so bad, it's just a kiss, and it would become easier and easier in time. Natural, even, if he allowed himself to think that way. It's difficult for him regardless, breathing a little through his nose to try to clear his head.

It crosses his mind that this is the second or third real kiss he's ever gotten, and how strange it was to be from Yu of all people. Another thing he never counted on. Or that he didn't even really know how to kiss, only winging it as he went right now. The smile on Yu's lips is felt, lightly massaging them back with his own. He can tell that his partner is happy, that they'd go though with this together. But that isn't helping him much right now, as Yosuke's shoulders are as tense as he felt, unsure if he was doing this right, palms starting to sweat with worry.

He didn't want to suck at this, whether it was a girl or a guy. And he doesn't want to be made fun of for it either. It's a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. In fact, he's too distracted to even put any real passion into it. His mind is far too preoccupied with the technicalities of it all, and he finally has to break from Yu in a small panic by the end of it.]

Ooookaaay, I uh...I wasn't ready.

[He doesn't want to admit he had no clue what he was doing, even though Yu probably knows by now by means of experience.]

C-Can we try that again, like, after I clear my head.