Yosuke "ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴀғʀᴀɪᴅ ᴏғ ᴘᴇɴɪsᴇs" Hanamura (
punchesyu) wrote in
insurmountable2015-09-23 06:49 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Entry tags:
just pay me back | with one thousand kisses (closed)
[It hadn't been too long after Yu had fallen asleep, that Yosuke leaned over from his sitting position, resting his upper body on one arm on the side of the bed while keeping his hand curled into the palm of his sleeping partner. He'd laid his head down, and almost as soon as his own eyes closed, sleep took him. It hadn't mattered where he was, exhaustion from the past twenty-four hours or so had taken a toll. And he was grateful to be able to rest, finally.
Yu, of course, wasn't able to get up right away and take care of himself. And thankfully because of how far Yosuke was away from home, they'd made an exception for him and given him a place to sleep in the hospital itself as preparations were made to return the two teens to their home planet. There wasn't very many places he could go anyway- they had his name, his profile, even his genetic code on file. The people who'd stolen him away to begin with would be on the lookout for the Earth boy that was extracted recently. It would be easier to keep him there, someplace already known to be safe and well out of the enemy's sight.
Not that he minded. He could see Yu anytime he wanted save for when the nurses and doctors had to tend to him every now and again. And there wasn't any way he wasn't going to abuse that privilege. He'd make sure Yu had what he needed or wanted, though not without whining sometimes. Though it wasn't so bad, sometimes he'd get to check out the hot nurses as he left Yu's room to retrieve things. In a small way, it was a win-win situation for him.
However, the day finally comes when Yosuke comes walking into the room, grinning. He'd received some good news, and a tray with some hot food is placed in front of Yu on the small folding table that was attached to the hospital bed. He doesn't bother to sit- he's too full of energy to be able to sit still at the moment.]
Yo! I brought you some breakfast. Eat up, because we've got a lot ahead of us today!
Yu, of course, wasn't able to get up right away and take care of himself. And thankfully because of how far Yosuke was away from home, they'd made an exception for him and given him a place to sleep in the hospital itself as preparations were made to return the two teens to their home planet. There wasn't very many places he could go anyway- they had his name, his profile, even his genetic code on file. The people who'd stolen him away to begin with would be on the lookout for the Earth boy that was extracted recently. It would be easier to keep him there, someplace already known to be safe and well out of the enemy's sight.
Not that he minded. He could see Yu anytime he wanted save for when the nurses and doctors had to tend to him every now and again. And there wasn't any way he wasn't going to abuse that privilege. He'd make sure Yu had what he needed or wanted, though not without whining sometimes. Though it wasn't so bad, sometimes he'd get to check out the hot nurses as he left Yu's room to retrieve things. In a small way, it was a win-win situation for him.
However, the day finally comes when Yosuke comes walking into the room, grinning. He'd received some good news, and a tray with some hot food is placed in front of Yu on the small folding table that was attached to the hospital bed. He doesn't bother to sit- he's too full of energy to be able to sit still at the moment.]
Yo! I brought you some breakfast. Eat up, because we've got a lot ahead of us today!
huehuehue
[He has to exhale heavily. He knew it. He had a feeling something about his exclamation just moments ago had bothered Yu. And he knew exactly what it was too, just like anything he's ever said in the past to Kanji, or the like. He knows the comments about being creeped out by other guys, not being comfortable even in a close proximity to another if it meant something further than just sleeping in a tent for a night, were hurtful. Being close, open even, it was just a concept he had a hard time grasping. It was easier, now, to accept it from other people. But himself- it was a total enigma, with no clue how to handle it.
His shoulders slump, guilt setting in from the confirmation of Yu's quiet voice. There's an initial tightening in his chest, an anxious pain that spread that coupled with the feeling of his stomach dropping out. Of course he didn't want to make Yosuke uncomfortable. There was a line, one that he knew his partner wouldn't cross. A line that he'd crossed.
His own hands clench, unsure if he should make the gesture to take Yu's hand or not. So they stay in his own lap, as he looked downwards in shame at himself.]
I say some pretty stupid things sometimes-! [His voice uplifts a little, even though his mood doesn't quite reach the same level.] But, it's not like that. I'm just getting used to this. I never imagined that I'd ever be sitting here, on another planet, telling my partner that I loved him.
[He hesitates, but resolves himself at least to reach over finally, to take Yu's hand in his own. Yosuke lets his fingers curl around, slowly, twining them between each other before he firmly grips his hand, squeezing it once before shifting his gaze to look at his partner.]
It feels like it's happened so fast. I thought that I'd get a girlfriend eventually, maybe even get married someday. Maybe have kids or something. But now...
[He doesn't finish his sentence. Because he's actually trying to make an effort to not say something stupid.]
makes this worse????
But in some way it seemed like he'd gone too far this time, huh? Maybe not in hurting Yosuke's feelings or anything like that. But in getting him to say things that maybe would hurt them both.
Yu continues to stay quiet while Yosuke works through it, trying not to get too caught up in his own head. His chest feels tight in ways that have nothing to do with his various physical ills. He only, finally, looks up when Yosuke takes his hand and twines their fingers together, his expression shifting subtly. None of the emotions that cross his face are loud; unless you knew him, you might not register them as different expressions at all. But they're there, if you look for them; shock, uncertainty, regret, then sympathy. ]
... I never meant to push you into anything.
[ They've had enough of euphemisms. ]
I was dying. I didn't want to leave without telling you how I felt, somehow.
[ Yu looks away from him and lifts his chin, sighing through his nose and staring at the sky instead. ]
If you're not ready for this, it's alright.
THANKS A LOT????
He has a lot to say. But it's coming with the right words to this conversation that's hard. He thinks for a good minute, letting the silence fill the space between the two of them. The entirety of the situation wasn't one that he'd looked at closely- the big picture was set before him, but through this difficult time he could only look at magnified parts of the carefully woven tapestry.
It's now, that he steadies his breathing, to speak his mind. To speak the truth.]
Listen. You didn't push me into anything at all. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now.
[He says with a certain determination that was sincere and solid. Like he wouldn't budge on this point, no matter what.]
I'm glad you told me. Back home, I wouldn't of been able to handle it. But this isn't home. I almost lost you back there. And I don't know what I would of done if I had to go back without you. Yu... [He takes another breath.]
There's a lot of things that are really messed up in my head right now. And to be honest, I don't know if I'm ready for this either. The thought of it scares me, to go home and tell everyone that you and I...that we're more than just partners. That there's something that runs a lot deeper between the two of us. Everything has turned in a direction that I never saw coming. But...when I think about it, I think I always knew.
Like, that there's a place in my heart that always had these...feelings inside. A place that I didn't want to admit even existed. It seriously freaked me out, and I didn't know how to handle it. So I ignored it, shoved it off to the side and told myself that I was just being stupid. And instead of accepting it, I let it eat at me. I think getting to know Kanji better helped a lot, but I still didn't want to acknowledge it within myself. I chose to focus on the other things about myself that I wanted to fix, to stop letting envy get me down and focus on what I could do today, and the next. To try to live a better life. To better myself, and to be a better friend to you guys.
But when you were dying in my arms, it hit me like a semi. That I really cared about you more than words could describe. And not like in some weird way! Just because the girls want all over you, doesn't mean I do.
But there's one thing I do know. That I want to be with you, more than anyone else. I still don't know what I'm going to do after high school, but I know I want to make this work. I want to try. And listen, bro...I'm sorry if I say things like that. I'm not used to it, and I'm afraid of being humiliated in front of the entire school and my parents. I know I have to come to accept it, and maybe even someday I'll be proud. But for now, this is something I need to work on. And I'm hoping you'd be willing to work with me on it...together.
[He finally exhales once more, done with this speech. He feels better that he got it off his chest, but he also is afraid that he'd hurt Yu again. But it was the truth, and he knew that the truth wasn't always something nice and fluffy. Or they wouldn't of worked so hard, gone through so much to attain it in the TV world.]
YOU'RE WELCOME, ACTUAL LUCIFER, LOVE OF MY LIFE, APPLE OF MINE OWN EYE
This is the first time they've actually had an honest conversation about all of this, isn't it? They were probably due. Yu leans on Yosuke's shoulder and presses the pads of his fingertips into the back of Yosuke's hand and just listens quietly to what he has to say. He has always been, if nothing else, a good listener. He looks down to meet his friend's gaze when he starts to speak again, and doesn't look away again for the entirety of that ... well, what turns into quite a speech. The whole time his expression stays quiet, thoughtful. Not sad, exactly, but a close cousin to it in timbre. It's not that he feels sad, or that the words he's hearing are upsetting him; far from it, actually. It's more that he just feels emotional, and isn't entirely sure how to process it all.
He'd fought and died for his best friend. Would die for him again. Already knows, has already realized he'd die for him a thousand times. And the real truth of the matter is that he doesn't know how to handle the reality of feelings this big and this important any better than Yosuke does. They're both finding their way with something wholly new, and he's got his own insecurities and fears to face.
I think I always knew.
Heh ... the idea that all along they might have felt this way about each other, never realizing until circumstances forced their hands to move and their hearts to see ...
When Yosuke is finally done speaking, Yu can't help it: that sad look shifts by small degrees into a smile as strange and new and beautiful as the sunrise they shared together on the first day of this new life. Is it a perfect truth? No, but no truth ever is, and he'd be a fool (hah) to expect that. And he's not disappointed by Yosuke being Yosuke. He could never be. His only fear was of losing him. But hearing that conviction reminds him of times gone by, of times spent working on the case and all the passion and fire Yosuke had for bringing that mystery to an end. Yosuke was many things, but he was also true, truer than anyone he'd ever known, and wouldn't ever say these things if he didn't mean them. Didn't intend with everything he was to see them through.
Yu's smile changes again, a shape that's a little more suited to his face; something comfortable and a little more confident. ]
We're still us. That hasn't changed, even if circumstances have. And what we are is partners. I look forward to working on it with you. Nothing could make me happier.
[ He's so sincere. And when he shifts his shoulders a little, he leans in, bringing their faces close together, so close...
... so he can bump his forehead gently into Yosuke's. ]
Yosuke.
i'm so proud you've made me happy today
And the expression on Yu's face is comforting- that smile that he's come to know well, calm and inspiring. There's nothing else he can do but to mirror that, eyes brightening at the sight alone. Yosuke nods at the words spoken, and his eyes close as Yu's face comes closer to his own. There's no fear now, maybe a little anxiety as he's imagining that he's about to be kissed, but the kiss doesn't come. Instead, he feels the forehead bump against his own, and his eyes open in wonder. But that's quickly erased with a soft smile that crosses his features, staring back into his own reflection in the eyes of someone he loved dearly, that he's sure if the roles were switched he'd of done the same. He'd of risked everything for this person who leaned against him, shared his warmth and care and did everything in his power to make sure that his partner was safe, almost at the cost of his own life.]
...Yu.
[He can't help but grin a goofy grin now. Caught up in a rush of feelings that threatened to swallow him whole, he deals with it by laughing quietly.]
You really know how to deliver some cheesy stuff. I'd be lying if it didn't get me every time, though. [He winks, throwing his arm up around Yu's shoulder, tugging him in, though careful of his wounds. They're close enough that he presses his own forehead now against his partner's, still grinning.]
We'll get through this to the very end, just like we always do, right partner?
take your garden kisses and begone from my sight you imp
Yu laughs too when Yosuke throws an arm around his shoulders and leans into his friend with abandon now, throwing caution to the wind and simply letting himself go with the moment. It feels nice, now, this closeness. The tightness in his chest has completely dissolved and instead, all he feels is light. Their tightly clasped hands are an anchor, and Yu runs his thumb over Yosuke's skin in a single, gentle brush. ]
That's right.
[ They're already so close, all he has to do for this one is tilt his chin.
It's a different kiss than their first two, probably because this is the first one that Yu himself can actually lean into. His free arm finds its way around Yosuke's waist to give himself a little more leverage (and a little more warmth and closeness) as he presses his lips to his partner's and smiles into a kiss he means with all his heart. He may never in his life love anyone half this much, and you could feel that on him, taste that on him now.
It's a silly thing to think, maybe. But true. In this moment, for him. True. ]
i'll take them and ruin garden kisses completely
It crosses his mind that this is the second or third real kiss he's ever gotten, and how strange it was to be from Yu of all people. Another thing he never counted on. Or that he didn't even really know how to kiss, only winging it as he went right now. The smile on Yu's lips is felt, lightly massaging them back with his own. He can tell that his partner is happy, that they'd go though with this together. But that isn't helping him much right now, as Yosuke's shoulders are as tense as he felt, unsure if he was doing this right, palms starting to sweat with worry.
He didn't want to suck at this, whether it was a girl or a guy. And he doesn't want to be made fun of for it either. It's a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. In fact, he's too distracted to even put any real passion into it. His mind is far too preoccupied with the technicalities of it all, and he finally has to break from Yu in a small panic by the end of it.]
Ooookaaay, I uh...I wasn't ready.
[He doesn't want to admit he had no clue what he was doing, even though Yu probably knows by now by means of experience.]
C-Can we try that again, like, after I clear my head.
LAUGHS OH NO THIS IS SO CUTE, SON OF A FUCK
He's actually a little distracted when Yosuke breaks away. It's barely even occurring to him that this kiss could probably be a lot better. It's an effort of will not to chase Yosuke's lips, to press into him again because he loves him.
But he doesn't. For a moment Yu looks a little addled, like he was just kissed completely senseless, but with a blink and a small shake of his head his eyes clear.
Would he tease Yosuke for being nervous about this? Never. He knows it's a sore spot, and just like Yosuke wouldn't ever tease Yu about needing to physically rely on him, Yu wouldn't ever tease Yosuke about his nerves regarding, well, this.
But he can still tease a little in a more general way. He lifts his chin and shifts his head so he can glance at Yosuke sidelong with a little quirk of his lips. ]
Nah. Sorry, partner. That was a one time deal.
[ His eyes are bright and warm. And his arm hasn't moved from around Yosuke's waist. ]
i'm really good at getting these kinds of reactions out of you
But his little victory party to himself is once again cut short. Yosuke peers at Yu, very aware of the hand that's still placed around his waist and how close they still were. It's easy to rile the boy up, but now, he knows he's being had and he swears he's not taking the bait this time. If anything, the little jab actually brings him back from his panic attack, in favor of something he knows. This is normal, this behavior between the two of them. The familiar sense of Yu trying to get at him, despite those shining eyes that plainly said to him that he was joking around.]
Don't even kid yourself, you're not done and you know it. Not this time, partner. I'm not falling for it.
[It helps bring him to a place when they'd first kissed in the hospital. When Yosuke realized that this was another person, not just a guy. He'd felt calm then, and he resolves to fall back into that memory, that feeling he had then. Love was more than that, right? It was more than what he'd conformed to at home. That's how they all were, coming to accept themselves for who they really were...and now, he's not sure why he's trying to fight it so hard.]
Come're, you jerk.
[The anxiousness is still there, but lessened. If he focuses on his own heart instead of the panic in his mind, it's easier. His head leans back in, tilted just so- and with a bit more confidence, more assured with a familiar determination that Yu will recognize when he presses his lips to the other's, he gives his partner a real kiss. One that reflected what he felt for Yu rather than his fear, a fear he'd work to get over one day. One step at a time.]
i don't know what you're talking about, casually hip checks you off a skyscraper
I guess I can't sneak anything past you.
[ It's freeing, this feeling. The togetherness they share, the rapport they always naturally fall into like it's exactly where they belong. It's easy to be with Yosuke. It feels right in a way few other things in his life ever have. He might always be a little scared of losing it, but who wouldn't be scared of losing something precious to them? He'll guard this piece of his heart with everything he has. Yosuke is a piece of his heart, now.
And that piece of his heart is leaning in to kiss him. It's a rather nice reversal from the usual way of things, a reversal that gets Yu's face to warm. He's glad they're already preoccupied with kissing and that Yosuke won't be able to see him flush a little bit, since he at least feels a little hot and is sure his face must reflect it. With a grateful sigh through his nose Yu lets his eyes slip shut and moves his lips against Yosuke's, the warm, soft press of their mouths together sending something electric coursing through his veins. He could get a little addicted to this feeling if someone let him. This kiss is different. It feels different, tastes different, makes his heart race differently. If he could communicate his feelings through kissing alone, right now all he'd say is that he never wants this to end.
With how close they are, Yosuke will probably feel the tremor that passes through Yu as they kiss. But unlike Yosuke, Yu isn't suddenly beset by nerves. His pounding heart has granted him a burst of adrenaline, but his tired body isn't equipped to handle it. Try telling that to someone who absolutely doesn't want to stop making out with his best friend, though. ]
i never even felt the pain when i splatted on the sidewalk
So he can look back and remember that Yu was a part of him, and would always be a part of him no matter what roads he took in life. The one person who risked everything. The one person who'd never tried to use him and who'd always stood and will stand by his side. The one person who'd always remind him that he was never alone. That he was special.
The intensity of the kiss feels like a heated rush, his heart and emotions racing faster than he can track. There was no doubt that his cheeks were just as flushed as Yu's. Whatever breaths he can sneak in are weighted, finding himself more and more unwilling to break away as he starts to lose himself to Yu's own passion. It was an intoxicating feeling, putting him more at ease the longer they massaged each other's lips. Slowly and methodically at first, and soon with more desire as he went along. The tremor through his partner's body is the only thing that keeps him in check, letting a passing thought through his mind to ask what that might of been.
He'll try to break away at least to ask if he was okay, but the operative word is try- for all he knows, Yu might not even allow him the opportunity to ask yet.]
rats, i was hoping it would be terrifically painful
But for now, when Yosuke tries to pull away, Yu does allow it, finally letting the kiss break and pressing his forehead to his boyfriend's so he can just breathe. He has a feeling he already knows why Yosuke wanted to stop and what his partner might be worried about. So after a moment of steady breathing to try and calm his pulse (and settle the twisted up knots in his gut - who knew being so thoroughly kissed by the person you're in love with could get to you so much?), Yu pulls back a little and smiles reassuringly. ]
I'm alright. I think I'm just tired from the walk here.
[ It's a lame excuse, and he feels lame for giving it, the truth though it may be. Given the option he'd pretty happily spend the rest of the day here with Yosuke, but they probably should get back at some point... ]
next time gadget, next time
It's okay, you can tell me. That's not the only thing making you tired~
[He teases, though in the back of his mind something cries out that maybe that was kinda weird. And it was, if Yu wasn't his boyfriend, if he wasn't in love with the boy that leaned up against him in tiredness, pain, and in joy. He shakes it off for the time being, the reality of the situation not lost on him. That couldn't be any weirder than making out with Yu in a garden outside of a hospital on another planet. So his hand falls to Yu's waist, to help him stand and get him back to his bed where he could rest for a bit.]
Let's get you back to bed. There's going to be plenty more where that came from, and you'll need your strength.
[More of what, he doesn't refer to. He'll let Yu think whatever he wants on that.]
next thread. just you wait. i'll make you cry.
At least, till this whole new vista opened up before them. Being in love with someone is just different from being their best friend or their partner. Your emotions get twisted around in all new kinds of ways. And when Yosuke teases him, says that's not the only thing making you tired, Yu feels a hot jolt go through him, his throat and chest and gut tightening all around the feeling. With a few blinks, he swallows, turning a little red as he stares at Yosuke, lips parted like he wants to speak, but nothing actually comes out. He seems somewhat at a loss for words.
Flustered and blushing. It's a very, very new look for someone normally as collected as Yu Narukami.
He lets Yosuke help him to his feet, using the moment to try and get his act back together. Not that Yosuke is helping matters any with that implication. Yu ducks his chin, glancing at Yosuke sidelong with an intensity that could melt solid steel from beneath grey lashes -- plenty more is a tantalizing offer, and the arm he's cinched around his partner's shoulders to help him balance tightens just a little -- but then the moment passes as a grin works its way across his mouth and he lifts his head again. ]
You're right. Looks like I'll need the rest if I'm going to keep up with you, at this rate. Once I'm better, you won't know what hit you.
[ Yet another ambiguous statement, open to interpretation however one might like. ]
bring it
It's somewhat attractive, this new look. Maybe because their 'fearless leader' could also have his feelings jumbled enough to show these emotions that Yosuke never thought could be worn on the face of Yu Narukami. That they're still just as much equals as the day that they'd fought it out at Samegawa. He can only begin to imagine future conversations, though he doesn't think far enough ahead as to how he'd avoid creeping himself out in the process. Both new to this idea of loving each other more than words could express, more than even 'partner'. But maybe partner was still the word he wanted- it just carried far more than he could of ever fathomed.
Yosuke still continues to look at Yu as they stand, though taking care to make sure he could stand without much strain. He's not sure what that sidelong glance was supposed to be, but it made him a little nervous. But what's worse is the next words- you won't know what hit you- that makes his back go a little straighter, stammering out a reply.]
We're not talking about what I think we're talking about, are we???? [Despite the fact that Yosuke started this anyway, his voice jumps in timbre, suddenly frightened by what that meant.]
No! Never mind! I don't want to know! Let's just go back to your room, and forget about that right now! Not! Another! Word!
[And if Yu tries to speak, Yosuke will quickly place his hand over his mouth as he walks him back to his room, where a warm bed awaits.]