Childe "I Can Make Her Worse" Tartaglia (
monoceroscaeli) wrote in
insurmountable2022-11-26 09:40 pm
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you hide your face with your disguise // 'cause someone filled your head with lies
[It had been a few days since the hunt for the Great Mujina Youkai had come to an end, having to say goodbye to the kids and to Yoimiya too. The ship that was to take him back to Snezhnaya would be arriving a bit later in the day, and Childe sighs as he sits back in his chair in the tent he's occupying in one such hidden Fatui camp. He had a great time in Inazuma. The country was beautiful, rich with a new culture to learn and all sorts of places to explore and fight new and more exciting enemies. All his things were in order- the gifts that he'd bought to bring back to his family, Teucer's Onikabuto in a little bug box with some food to keep it alive during the trip back- all he'd have to do is wait for the ship and he'd be on his way.
He tells himself that he'd return to the country one day, once tensions between the Fatui and the Shogunate calm down. It was a miracle that he was able to stay as long as he has, evading the Tenryou Commission. He has some people to thank for that, and he won't forget what they did for him while he's been here. Some gifts would be in order for them upon his return.
The Harbinger idly plays with a writing utensil between his fingers. He'd like to bring something from Snezhnaya for Yoimiya, too.
There's a sharp rap at his door, and Childe sighs. He doesn't really want to deal with work right now, perfectly happy reminiscing on the time he's spent in Inazuma before he leaves, but answers with a bored tone to his voice:]
Come in.
[An agent enters, bowing and standing at attention.]
Sir, we've captured a Tenryou Commission spy that was found sneaking around. We've taken her into custody and are awaiting your orders on how to deal with her.
[Childe's eyebrow raises. It should have been hard to find this camp, even by the Shuumatsuban. Somehow, doubt creeps into his mind, but stands from his chair.]
Alright, I'll deal with it myself. At least I can have one last bit of fun before I depart.
[The agent only bows once more, to lead Childe towards the prisoner. He knows better than to argue with the Harbinger, but feels sorry for the spy. The two cross the camp to another tent, the agent stopping him right before lifting the flap for his senior commander.]
She claims to be from the fireworks shop, but we've seen Tenryou soldiers stop frequently at it.
[Before he can answer, the flap is lifted to reveal a certain girl that he'd met not but a few days ago...]
He tells himself that he'd return to the country one day, once tensions between the Fatui and the Shogunate calm down. It was a miracle that he was able to stay as long as he has, evading the Tenryou Commission. He has some people to thank for that, and he won't forget what they did for him while he's been here. Some gifts would be in order for them upon his return.
The Harbinger idly plays with a writing utensil between his fingers. He'd like to bring something from Snezhnaya for Yoimiya, too.
There's a sharp rap at his door, and Childe sighs. He doesn't really want to deal with work right now, perfectly happy reminiscing on the time he's spent in Inazuma before he leaves, but answers with a bored tone to his voice:]
Come in.
[An agent enters, bowing and standing at attention.]
Sir, we've captured a Tenryou Commission spy that was found sneaking around. We've taken her into custody and are awaiting your orders on how to deal with her.
[Childe's eyebrow raises. It should have been hard to find this camp, even by the Shuumatsuban. Somehow, doubt creeps into his mind, but stands from his chair.]
Alright, I'll deal with it myself. At least I can have one last bit of fun before I depart.
[The agent only bows once more, to lead Childe towards the prisoner. He knows better than to argue with the Harbinger, but feels sorry for the spy. The two cross the camp to another tent, the agent stopping him right before lifting the flap for his senior commander.]
She claims to be from the fireworks shop, but we've seen Tenryou soldiers stop frequently at it.
[Before he can answer, the flap is lifted to reveal a certain girl that he'd met not but a few days ago...]
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Surely you didn't think I was going to let you walk into this unprepared, now did you?
[Ajax playfully musses up Yoimiya's hair a little, lightly teasing in hopes of keeping the mood lifted and positive even as they prepare for her important task of confronting Dottore. He slips his arm around her immediately after, to start to walk over to the village proper in hopes of finding something to eat before they start their day.]
It's not the kind of training I'd normally do, but I figure running through some "scripts" per se with you might be helpful in dealing with Dottore. I don't want you having to make up important talking points right on the spot, and I've probably been around him the most out of everyone here. The last thing we need is for him to see through any fabrications, so I'm going to help you tell some half-truths.
[Unknowingly giving away his own secret in how he deals with things as a Harbinger, but details.]
We won't have unlimited samsara cycles to get this right, but I'll let Lesser Lord Kusanali explain that part to you. For now, you get to use me as your training dummy. Think you can manage to fool me?
[He smirks at her, challenging her to try her best against him!]
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Suddenly, she's starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by the situation. She still doesn't even know what a samsara cycle is but at least Nahida will have that part covered when they get in contact with her. Just as she's starting to wonder if she's even capable of pulling this off, she's brought back to reality by Ajax's arm wrapping around her. ]
Um... well, fooling people isn't exactly my specialty but I guess I gotta start somewhere if we really want to convince Dottore.
[ Use him as a training dummy... archons, there's no telling how this is going to go. Yoimiya just sighs to herself. ]
I'll try my best.
[ Although willing, she also sounds extremely unsure of herself. Yoimiya has always been an open book so lying through her teeth is a completely new endeavor for her. ]
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[Ajax shoots her a small smile as they walk through the tiny village, Aranara popping out of their own huts to see the two Nara walk by.]
By the time we're finished, you'll be a pro. All it takes is a little practice and knowing what you need to say, and you'll do just fine.
[As they walk, he spots a lucky zaytun peach plant near the wall of the village, directing her over and taking a seat in the grass.]
Ah, breakfast. Excellent! We can sit here for a while...care to join me?
[Shooting her a wink, this would make the perfect spot to get to work on things.]
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Lying will never be her strong suit. She shoots him a skeptical look before joining him on the grass. ]
Sure! Those peaches sure look delicious.
[ As a matter in fact, she grabs a ripe one. ]
So what kinda questions are ya gonna ask?
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Mmmmm, well, let's pretend I'm Dottore in this instance. You've got our fake Aralauka at your side, and you're trying to convince him that it's the real deal. What's the first thing you need to do before you even speak?
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Um...
[ A beat. ]
Hello Dottore! It's nice to see ya again. I hope you didn't forget our pinky promise. My Aranara friend ain't gonna take you seriously otherwise.
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Hahahaha, no no, hold on a moment. The first thing you need to do is convince yourself that the Aranara you're handing over is real. Aralauka will be there with us in the dream, so it'll be just like having the real deal.
[He loves you so much Yoimiya.]
Now, that being said... [he clears his throat, trying to imitate the Doctor the best he can...]
Oh, I didn't know that Aranara also agree to a Snezhnayan children's nursery rhyme. Now, you're going to tell me where you two have been for the last week, aren't you?
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Her head hurts and they've only just started. ]
Yeah!! That's right!!! The um, Aranara take nursery rhymes seriously no matter the country.
[ She's doing great.]
As for where we've been, the two of us have been busy looking for the Aranara! They can be pretty slippery and hard to find.
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[If he told her how unconvincing she sounded, he's afraid he'd crush her at this point...]
Yoimiya, try saying that again, but with a bit more confidence. The next thing he'd ask is why we made no contact with the Fatui whatsoever until now. Dottore knows the truth of our situation...we can tell him about Seraphina's attack and why we had to suddenly leave. The most convincing arguments, even if fabricated, are based in truth.
[A bad liar teaching a bad liar to lie...]
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[ She sighs and hangs her head in shame but Yoimiya isnt one to give up, not with her firey spirit burning within her. ]
I apologize for suddenly cutting contact with you. The truth is, we were under attack and had no choice but to book it out as soon as we could. The entity is not only capable of possessing me but can also control everyone I'm Sumeru City. There's no telling how far it's influence goes...
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[Tartaglia nods, accepting that response, tone encouraging. It was sober, true, and if it were him in Dottore's situation, he could at least believe it.
Clearing his throat again, he takes Dottore's role back on.]
"We found your room turned over, like the two of you were in a hurry. That's concerning...but only for you. Now, since you found the Aranara, what have they agreed to? Do I get to speak with one of them?"
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Try as she might, she cant stop the giggles from spilling out. ]
Hehehehe... Dottorejax.
[ Arajax was right about Aramiya and now it's looking like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. ]
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[He exclaims, clearly embarrassed lolol]
Don't call me that...
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[ the visible embarrassment on his face is cute, only causing her to cackle harder. ]
I can't help it.... Dottorejax.
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[Childe looks visibly disgusted by being called by his comrade's name, hating being even remotely compared to another Harbinger.
She's only getting away with it because she's Yoimiya.]
Stop that, now I can never do that voice again.
[BLEEEHHHHHHHH]
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[ but she gets it, squishing his name with a coworker he doesn't like probably sounds gross to his ears. ]
How about this? Do an impression of me and we can call ourselves Ajaxmiya. Or... Tarumiya!
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[He repeats nearly under his breath. Only his beloved Yoimiya would come up with something like that.]
Okay, why don't you be Dottore and I'll be you? Then, and only then, will I do your voice.
[IT'LL BE GR8]
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[ There's a brief second where it looks like she's taking this seriously. She clears her throat, puts on her best deadpan face and starts to deepen her voice. ]
Hello Mr. Tartaglia, Childe, Eleventh Harbinger and Ms. Naganohara. Have you brought me my Aranara? I have a need for them.
[ very ic
And yes, she still sounds sqeauky. ]
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[There's a moment of silence from him as he tries to digest exactly what it was that she just said in that voice. Childe blinks at her a few times before he sputters and just outright laughs at her impression of Dottore.]
...Oh, oh my, is that what you think he sounds like? Hahahaha-!
[He's starting to fall over in a fit of laughter...]
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She even rubs her hands together in the most evil manner possible.
]
What's so funny Mr. Tartaglia? I'm a big bad evil scientist, it's only natural I sound like this. Why isn't Ms. Naganohara speaking? That's very uncharacteristic of her.
[ says the girl who is acting extremely ic as....... Dottore.]
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[He laughs some more, trying to pick himself up off the grass as he wipes away a tear from his eye. He doesn't know why that's so funny, but it is...even now, it's still funny.]
...Hahaha, you need to give me a moment. I need to recover from that sneak attack...
[Childe gets out a last few guffaws before he's finally okay to continue, taking a deep breath and trying to dismiss what she just said just so he can act semi-normal.]
Okay. Whew...can we start again? I wasn't prepared for what you just did, hahaha.
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Hahaha! I'm glad I could get you cackling. I hope you liked my Yoitorre impersonation!
[ Yoitorre...... why did she put her name in front? Who knows.
Because obviously she tops.]But don't forget, you promised to do an impression of me.
[ She's waiting for her Tarumiya impersonation, boyfriend! ]
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I did indeed. Where were we....oh yes. Bringing an Aranara. Alright, here goes nothing, haha.
[Ajax has to take a second to think about how he's going to pitch his voice up far enough to even come close to Yoimiya's, and when he's ready he takes a big breath.
And.]
We sure did! But you better not hurt 'em, ya hear me??? Don't forget our pinky promise.
[It's the highest, squeakiest voice he can muster, voice cracking here and there because he's still unable to get it high enough to match her voice. He huffs at the end, setting his arms akimbo and trying to imitate Yoimiya's angry face as best he can.]
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It almost feels like she's looking into a mirror except she's staring at a tall ginger version of herself. ]
Hahahahaha!! Oh my goodness, you sound so funny, Ajax! I've never heard your voice go that high before, hahahaha.
[ But as much as she wants to sit there and laugh at him, they need to get serious (???) about this! Yoimiya clears her throat and attempts another impression. ]
Right, right, our pinky promise. Yup, yup, I did not forget to treat my experimen— I mean, uh... my new "friends" with kindness. [ Why is her version of Dottore like this??? ] So, seeing as I'm unable to see them for my own eyes. Show me proof of their existence. I'd like to meet my experime—iends.
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It's still almost as hard to keep a straight face as she does her Dottore impression, which honestly doesn't sound like an impression, but rather a caricature she made up for him. He can't really say she's incorrect with the intentional vocab slip ups though...he really does just view everything through the lens of an experiment. But as a scientist, at least it makes sense.
Still funny, though.]
Super easy! This one agreed to show himself just for you! You can thank us later.
[High and scratchy, Childe can already feel his voice starting to give out from trying to talk like Yoimiya. He coughs again, waving his hand once before he takes another bite from the zaytun peach he's got in his hand, drinking the juice that comes out of it before swallowing his bite just to see if it helps his throat.]
Goodness, I don't know if I can do that for very much longer. That hurts, hahahaha.
(no subject)
my turn for phone tags lol
now you know my suffering
THIS IS SO HARD
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🎀