you hide your face with your disguise // 'cause someone filled your head with lies

[monoceroscaeli]

[It had been a few days since the hunt for the Great Mujina Youkai had come to an end, having to say goodbye to the kids and to Yoimiya too. The ship that was to take him back to Snezhnaya would be arriving a bit later in the day, and Childe sighs as he sits back in his chair in the tent he's occupying in one such hidden Fatui camp. He had a great time in Inazuma. The country was beautiful, rich with a new culture to learn and all sorts of places to explore and fight new and more exciting enemies. All his things were in order- the gifts that he'd bought to bring back to his family, Teucer's Onikabuto in a little bug box with some food to keep it alive during the trip back- all he'd have to do is wait for the ship and he'd be on his way.

He tells himself that he'd return to the country one day, once tensions between the Fatui and the Shogunate calm down. It was a miracle that he was able to stay as long as he has, evading the Tenryou Commission. He has some people to thank for that, and he won't forget what they did for him while he's been here. Some gifts would be in order for them upon his return.

The Harbinger idly plays with a writing utensil between his fingers. He'd like to bring something from Snezhnaya for Yoimiya, too.

There's a sharp rap at his door, and Childe sighs. He doesn't really want to deal with work right now, perfectly happy reminiscing on the time he's spent in Inazuma before he leaves, but answers with a bored tone to his voice:]

Come in.

[An agent enters, bowing and standing at attention.]

Sir, we've captured a Tenryou Commission spy that was found sneaking around. We've taken her into custody and are awaiting your orders on how to deal with her.

[Childe's eyebrow raises. It should have been hard to find this camp, even by the Shuumatsuban. Somehow, doubt creeps into his mind, but stands from his chair.]

Alright, I'll deal with it myself. At least I can have one last bit of fun before I depart.

[The agent only bows once more, to lead Childe towards the prisoner. He knows better than to argue with the Harbinger, but feels sorry for the spy. The two cross the camp to another tent, the agent stopping him right before lifting the flap for his senior commander.]

She claims to be from the fireworks shop, but we've seen Tenryou soldiers stop frequently at it.

[Before he can answer, the flap is lifted to reveal a certain girl that he'd met not but a few days ago...]

Comments

[niwabi]

[ No matter how hard she trashes, no matter how loud she screams, nothing seems to be getting through him. All she can see is the murderous blue eyes of a cold-blooded killer who looks to be enjoying her suffering. Childe, Tartaglia, Ajax... that look in his eyes tells her everything she needs to know, the man who has sworn to protect and cherish her is no longer there. It's as if some monster is wearing the face of her lover. She screams as he grabs her wrist, rendering her completely and utterly helpless underneath him. Scared out of her mind and without a weapon, she's all out of options, the only thing she can do is accept that the blade pointed at her throat is going to put an end to her life. This is it, this is how she ends up dying; at the hands of something possessing her beloved.

Through her panic, she can just barely make out the voices of people begging him to stop but there is no stopping him, not with that terrible face he's making. With tears streaming down her face, Yoimiya squeezes her eyes shut, silently praying for her death to be swift. But... the feeling of that blade sinking into her throat never comes to pass.

As soon the grip of her wrist loosens, she uses this chance to bring her arms to shield her face in feeble hopes that it will protect her. Frightened beyond belief, her mind doesn't even register that Ajax has withdrawn and is back to his normal self, still under the impression that she's about ready to die any second. In this inconsolable state, all she can hear is that same dark voice she heard at the cave and in Dottore's office berating her.

This is all your fault. This never would have happened if you never caused that explosion. You hurt him. You're the cause of everything bad in his life. It's all because you're so weak and pathetic.

That's right, everything is her fault. If she hadn't used that goldfish explosion, none of this would have happened. If she had the capability of putting up a fight, Childe would have had a great time and they could have enjoyed a couple's brawl. Her near death at the cave, being forced to fight her lover, listening to Dottore's disinterest in her, and now what is the worst of them all; her sweet Ajax attempting to kill her. All these accumulations of terrible events are the final nail in the coffin for Yoimiya to reach her breaking point. Still laying on the snowy ground, she hugs her knees, curling up in a ball, bawling her eyes out. ]

It's all my fault. Everything is my fault. I'm so sorry for causing that explosion, I didn't mean to hurt you. I...I just wanted to impress you. [ Through her tears she hiccups, besides herself with despair. ] I'm so sorry for being weak. I'm so sorry for being pathetic. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...

[ Now that their Lord Harbinger has finally backed down, a few Fatui soldiers rush into the fray, getting between the couple to check on both of them. Lord Childe, what happened?!, a few of them shout in concern while also keeping a respectable distance just in case he goes berserk again. The others are huddled around the trembling and crying Yoimiya, examining both her physical and mental state. But one look at her is enough to deduce that she's not at all stable, not with her mumbling a mantra of I'm sorry. ]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't kill me. I'm so sorry.

[monoceroscaeli]

[It feels like everything is moving in slow-mo. Yoimiya yanks back from him, shaking and trying to protect herself from his blade that he'd just been holding at her throat. Soldiers rush around her to see if she's okay, she's crying and apologizing over and over again. Her words echo in his ears, guilt washing over him as she sobs and says I'm sorry. More soldiers surround him, though at a distance, blocking his view of Yoimiya for a moment. He looks up, dazed, not understanding what they're asking him, before he looks back and cranes his neck to the side to see Yoimiya still crying and apologizing. Tartaglia's voice catches in his throat, unable to speak, as strong hands come in behind him and pick him up off of the ground. One of the soldiers has gotten the bravery to come in and take care of the Harbinger, who's almost like a limp rag doll in his arms. Others come in to assist, and Childe finds himself being lead away from Yoimiya in all the confusion.

But all he can do is look back at his girlfriend, being assisted by other Fatui soldiers, who take her to a taller figure that's just arrived on the scene. Pantalone calmly walks over to join Yoimiya, looking once at her and then over to Tartaglia. He can see the traces of the fight they just had, and there's a lot of questions to be asked and answered here...but for now, he'll take her to the hospital to get her injuries looked at.

Childe is ushered away, unable to resist, his mind still in shock at what happened. He's taken to get his own injuries looked at, separate from Yoimiya- and that's the last he sees of her for now.]

---

[The next day, he's had all his examinations done and released from medical care, but that doesn't mean he's okay. All he can do is replay the event again and again in his head, trying to figure out how he could of allowed himself to be so vulnerable without knowing it, letting something get inside of his head and push him to almost kill Yoimiya. He knows it's not his fault, that he would never do that to her. But the fact that something got inside of his head like that without him realizing eats away at him like a rot that's decaying the inside of a fruit left out in the sun.

And on top of all of that, how can he possibly face her.

The person she trusted the most turned on her in the heat of battle and almost ended her life, if it hadn't been for that voice that cut through the noise and brought him out of it. Yoimiya's pleas weren't even enough to pull him back to reality, and that bothers him even more than anything else. If she never trusted him again, he couldn't blame her. He promised he would protect her and he broke that promise, in the worst way possible. No apology could ever be enough, not with how she looked and how upset she was, fault or not. Anger and despair fill his mind, and he wants to see her and yet, a part of him is terrified of standing before her. Tartaglia knows he can't avoid her, nor does he want to, it's just...

He paces the office he has in Zapolyarny Palace, restless and wanting to go, but he was advised by Pantalone to give Yoimiya time and space to deal with what had happened. So, Tartaglia reluctantly agrees to wait, and would visit her at the hospital after she's had a bit of time to recover.]

---

[Now that a few days have passed, Childe finally leaves to head over to the hospital. He's not allowed to see her without Harbinger supervision- and Pantalone is waiting for him upon his arrival- just in case he goes berserk again. No Fatui solider would be able to stop him, so he walks alongside his colleague to Yoimiya's room.

Childe stands in front of the door, hesitating as he looks down at the doorknob. Rarely, since he left the Abyss, does he feel nervousness like he does now. How would she receive him? Would she scream and push him away? Tell him to go? Cry and curl up in terror? None of these responses would be uncalled for. Pantalone seems to sense this, blinking a few times and placing his hand on the doorknob instead.]

Come, now. In we go.

[And the door opens, with Tartaglia having to take a deep breath as he steps inside, shortening his stride as he walks in slowly to see Yoimiya.]

[niwabi]

[ The trip to the hospital was not exactly pleasant. The whole way there, Yoimiya was sobbing and still crying out apologies to Ajax even well after they were separated. There was no way she would have been able to make the trip on her own if it wasn't for Pantalone and those kind Fatui Soldiers, she still would have been on the ground curled up in fear. They get her checked in and thankfully, there aren't any physical injuries on her body aside from minor cuts, and scrapes from their scuffle before everything went downhill. Getting a doctor to even examine her proved to be quite the challenge, the blonde was still scared and not of sound mind after nearly getting killed by her boyfriend. It took some coaxing but eventually, Pantalone was able to calm her down so she could receive that wellness check. The doctor determines that physically, she's fine but emotionally and mentally... she has scars that can only be healed with time.

Since she's the Eleventh Harbinger's girlfriend and now Pantalone's esteemed guest, the hospital staff allows her to stay as long as she wants. Yoimiya somberly agrees, not showing any aversion to the idea since she's just that low in spirits. She keeps looking around for signs of Ajax, wondering if he'll burst through the door and check on her but... he never comes. There's not a single sign of him. Understandable, since he has his own injuries and mental state to tend to. But after listening to that dark voice berate her over and over again, her thoughts begin to wander in a more negative direction. Were her apologies not good enough? What if Ajax finally had enough of her? After all, she's brought nothing but misfortune onto him as a result of being so weak.

Emotions are a fickle one, she wants to see him, she wants nothing more than for him to run into her room and pull her into an embrace. But... as she thinks back on what transpired, she's reminded of those cold, merciless eyes of a killer staring down with his blade at her throat. That person who wanted to kill her was definitely not her sweetheart, she knows this but even so, she'll never forget the fear of believing that she was actually going to die at his hands. She literally stared death in the eyes, just thinking about it was enough for her to tremble. Night eventually falls, the day's events have finally taken a toll on her, causing her to give in to her exhaustion. All she can do is cry herself to sleep, heartbroken, scared, and feeling completely and totally alone. ]

---

[ The next few days are a blur. The once high-spirited and talkative Naganohara Yoimiya is a husk of her former self the longer she stays in this hospital room. She shrinks away from anyone's touch, whether it be the doctor, nurses, or Pantalone. Having time to recover has been a double-edged sword on her mental state, it's hard to sleep when she's plagued with nightmares of throwing herself into lava, having her body controlled, or Ajax's cold blood features staring down at her as he jams his blade into her throat.

But the most heart-wrenching of them all... is that Ajax is still nowhere to be found. When Pantalone visits, Yoimiya asks him about his whereabouts, he tells her that from the advice of both the doctor and himself, it's best that they spend some time apart. It's not the answer she wants to hear but she can't argue that it is in both of their interests to recover before having a conversation. As much as she wants to see him, she's still scared and can't get her mind off that crazed expression full of intent to kill her. ]

---

[ Finally, the day her heart has both been longing for and scared of arrives. Staring down at her hands, her ears perk up at the sounds of the doorknob turning, assuming it's none other than Pantalone since he usually visits her around this time. She turns her head to greet him, only to be surprised by a familiar head of ginger hair, one that she did not expect to see. ]

Ajax...?

[ She sounds surprised, almost as if she gave up on him ever visiting. Along with shock, she sounds exhausted due to lack of sleep these past few days. She looks up at him, the usual shine in her golden irises dull, her eyes red and puffy from all the crying she's done over the course of these few days. ]

Is that really you?

[ It's as if she's posing the question; Is this really her Ajax, or the beast that nearly murdered her? ]

[monoceroscaeli]

[The first thing he sees is the exhausted, stress-worn visage of his girlfriend who looks as if she would never see him again. Seeing her eyes so red and puffy, along with how empty her irises are is like a gut punch. She's been sitting in this room all alone, suffering. So much so that she's asking that question like she doesn't even know if it's really him who just walked through the doorway to come visit her. He approaches her bed slowly, as Pantalone closes the door behind them and stands at a close distance between himself and Childe. Ajax tries to put on his best smile, but it too, is worn and exhausted.]

It's really me.

[His voice is quiet and ginger, as if he were afraid to speak in just the wrong tone to upset her. He's thankful she's not trying to shoo him away or reject him outright just from seeing him- it tells him that maybe, he's got a chance here to prove that he isn't that crazed maniac who tried to kill her from a few days ago.]

I...

[His voice catches in his throat again, suddenly overcome with emotions that he'd tried to fight back throughout the course of the past few days. He wants to cry, wants to run to her and apologize, let his heart bleed until there's nothing left. Tartaglia begins to quicken his step, just so he can take her into a tight embrace and tell her that he's so sorry, that everything was going to be okay.

But a strong hand grips his shoulder, reminding him that Pantalone was still there, keeping watch.]

Do not approach her. You'll stay right here, thank you.

[It's clear that even if Yoimiya and Ajax trust each other, Pantalone doesn't. He needs to make sure that his fellow Harbinger doesn't create a blade and stab it right through her chest in front of his very eyes.]

...

[Ajax is silent for a moment, staying still and trying to fight the urge to remove the Ninth's hand from his shoulder, but he does also understand the precautions here. So he doesn't move, and follows orders- like a good soldier.]

Yoimiya...I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

[The hurt in his eyes is palpable, guilt wracking him in every facet.]

Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?

[niwabi]

[ She's not the only one utterly drained of energy, Ajax is as well. Although he's doing his best to smile, she can tell that behind those blue eyes is a man who is also a shell of his former energetic self. No doubt that everything that's transpired has weighed heavily on his mind. She's sure he's wracked with guilt and it hurts her to think about Ajax suffering in silence all alone.

But as it stands...

Her eyes shift over to Panatlone, nodding her head in appreciation. It's true, she indeed trusts Ajax with all of her heart. Any other day, she'd jump into his arms, cry into his chest, and tell him how much her heart ached for him. The warmth of his body has always been her greatest source of comfort but... she can't allow him to touch her right now, not when the image of him pining her down onto the snowy ground with a blade against her throat is still burned into her mind. ]

No. Not physically.

[ She says quietly, lacking her usual Yoimiya energy in her voice. A few bandages have been applied to the cuts and scrapes that she received in the fight but those minor injuries aren't what damaged her the most. No bandage can heal the wound that's been inflicted on her heart. Those cuts will heal in just a few days, but the emotional scarring that she's received will take time.

That apology is wracked with so much guilt, she can hear how much he's also been hurting. Slowly, she looks up to meet his gaze and sees those blue eyes afflicted with regret beyond words can describe. Deep down inside, she knows it's not his fault. Something got a hold of him and tried to force him into committing an atrocity that would emotionally damage him beyond repair. It's another reminder of how weak she is, maybe, just maybe, she could have prevented all of this if she was just a little bit stronger. She locks stares with him for a solid minute before quickly shifting her gaze back to her hands. It's hard to look at him right now, staring into those blue eyes is a reminder of that crazy, twisted expression he had when he nearly killed her. ]

What happened out there? One minute we were having a fun fight and then the next...

[ You tried to kill me. She stops herself, unable to voice that chilling thought. Ajax has already been through enough as it is, she doesn't wish to make him feel even worse than he already does. ]

[monoceroscaeli]

[Not physically.

It was an answer he knew was coming, that she had every right to say. Before he'd even left to come to the hospital, it tore him up thinking on how much Yoimiya probably felt so betrayed by him, and the image and sound of her tucking into her self and crying on the snowy ground comes back and slams into him like a truck. The echo of I'm sorry rings in his ears, and he's unable to look at her immediately after she says it. Her voice is so quiet, lacking the life it usually does- and Ajax's eyes go straight to the ground, feeling the ache of guilt ripping into him even more than what it had the day before.

Taking a deep breath, he forces himself to look back up at her, meeting her gaze, apologizing as much as he can with his eyes before she can no longer look at him anymore. He understands, but the fact that she can't hold his gaze for longer than a moment still stings, even if he can't blame her. Ajax is silent for a moment after she asks him the question, letting out a heavy exhale while he gathers his thoughts. This is another question he expected, but as much as he's rationalized it for the last few days, it doesn't feel like it's an good or even adequate response.]

I'm still not entirely sure, [he begins slowly.] I was having fun fighting you, and when that goldfish exploded...something inside of me changed.

[He shakes his head as his hand comes up to hold his own face. Putting everything into words was difficult, but she deserves an explanation.]

I was so excited to be fighting you, and that attack really got my blood pumping, like I had a true challenge on my hands. But there was a voice there too, one that coaxed me into taking our fight more seriously...telling me that you tried to kill me with that attack.

[His eyes close as his hand falls away from his face, reflecting on it. That voice was strong and convincing, and he wishes so much that he would have seen the warning sign at the time. It had hidden itself so well in his heart, his love for battle...]

Naturally, fights to the death are ones I love the most. So that voice fed on my desires, urged me to relish in the feel of our battle, and to claim victory by...

[He can't finish the sentence. Childe has to suck in a sharp breath of air to keep himself from choking out a sob. He nearly killed the person he loves so dearly, too weak and too focused on his own selfish desires not to see the damage he was doing. Now, Yoimiya can't even look at him, and all he can do is be thankful she's still alive. His body begins to tremble uncontrollably, taking deep breaths to calm himself, just so he can continue.]

...and I fell to that voice. If I'd been stronger, I would have realized what was happening and put a stop to it before it ever got that far. I'm sorry, Yoimiya. This is my fault, and my fault alone.

[niwabi]

[ In a rare moment of silence, Yoimiya doesn't utter a single word as she listens to Ajax with her gaze focused on her arms hugging her knees, wanting nothing more than to give him the floor to talk. Despite everything that's happened, she knows Ajax isn't a monster. What transpired was out of character for him, never in a million years would he seriously consider killing her without the interference of an outside force. Tears spill out from her eyes at the confirmation her goldfish explosion started this whole mess. No matter what he says, she's fully convinced she's at fault. All because of that special attack she thought would be the key to impressing her boyfriend who lives for the thrill of battle.

She sharply inhales to prevent herself from breaking down with sobs right before his very eyes. Ajax is already feeling horrible about this ordeal and even though she's scared, the last thing she wants is to add to his troubles. This is her fault, after all. If only she wasn't so weak. If only she was strong enough to repel that evil entity, then they could go on to live a happy life together. She brings a hand to wipe away the tears falling out of her eyes while listening to Ajax pour his heart out with this explanation. Just like that, her suspicions are confirmed. An evil presence was urging him to kill her. The moment she stared into those cold blue eyes, she knew something was terribly wrong with him.

Throughout his explanation, Yoimiya doesn't say a word or make eye contact with him, too frightened and traumatized to go back to acting like everything is okay. It's only when she hears what sounds like him gasping for air that she lifts her head up to look at him, greeted with what is the most heartbreaking sight she's ever seen. Ajax's whole body is shaking out of control, he's forcing himself to take deep breaths in an attempt to prevent himself from having a breakdown. Seeing him in this state is an even more excruciating pain than having her throat sliced open.

It's a reminder that she's not the only victim of this disaster. Ajax is suffering just as much as she is, if not more. ]

Ajax...

[ Slowly, she finds the strength to rise from the hospital bed. These past few days without him were some of the most agonizing moments of her life, she's not about to let him suffer all alone when it's clear he's not solely at fault. She takes a deep breath, trembling as she walks closer and closer to the two men. Regrator sees what she's about to do and urges her to keep her distance, she tells him that it's fine, that she needs to do this for both of their sakes. ]

Please be careful, Miss Naganohara.

[ After some consideration, Pantalone relents, stepping away from the couple to allow them to look at each other without standing in their way. But he's still inside the room, keeping a watchful eye on Tartaglia on the chance he loses control again. Yoimiya swallows hard, trembling in fear but determined to reach out and delicately pull on his coat with her thumb and index finger. ]

Please don't shoulder all the blame. If it was the same entity that took control over me, then please don't feel bad. That horrible thing is so strong. I'm also just as much at fault, it's because I'm so weak and got us into this mess. I'm so sorry, Ajax. I wish I was stronger.

[monoceroscaeli]

[Childe hates so much that telling her is making her tear up and cry. He wishes that he could wipe those tears away, reassure her that everything was going to be okay, but he doesn't know how he could possibly say something like that right now while he stands there knowing that the reason they're in this predicament was because of him. Yoimiya had done nothing wrong, even if she probably felt like she had, and the thought of that kills him on the inside. He finishes his explanation, fighting down those trembles that surge through him, not realizing until now how much the experience had really wracked him down to his very core. He doesn't want Yoimiya seeing him like this, yet he can't stop his own body from shaking every now and again every time he thinks about it longer than a moment. Even Pantalone recognizes the toll this has had on his younger colleague- and that's impressive, given what they know Childe had been through before he'd even joined the Fatui.

Ajax is surprised to see Yoimiya get up from the bed, not thinking she'd want to be close to him after the incident. But he can see the determination in her eyes, she doesn't want him to be alone in this, even if she's terrified to even approach him. He stands still, eyes following her, doing nothing to interject between Yoimiya and Pantalone. His gaze settles on her face, looking down at her with wide eyes and a stare that conveys disbelief that she'd even come near him, guilt because of how she quivers in fear of him, and thankfulness that she's made the gesture. The tug at his coat is like a tug on his heart, and he shakes his head at her words.]

No, it's not your fault at all. No one asked for this to happen. Even if it couldn't control you, it would have gone after me instead, like it did during our fight. Don't apologize. It got both of us.

[Ajax's hand gingerly pokes out from underneath his coat, to wrap his index finger around her own. Just the simple touch of her finger against his own is enough to send relief through him and a comfort that she could only provide.]

We'll just work harder to figure out how to beat it. We have a long way to go, but we did learn more...so we'll be prepared for next time.

[He tries to give her a comforting smile, still wanting to tell her everything was going to be okay. But he doesn't know, and he won't make another promise he can't keep to her. It puts a dent in his confidence, one that he hates more than anything else, but only time and effort would heal it till he can stand there and tell her the words she needs to hear to get through this.]

I love you. Let's keep working at it, okay?

[niwabi]

[ It will take some time for Yoimiya to fully realize none of this is her fault. The once bright-spirited girl has had her confidence reduced to ashes. Blaming herself, calling herself weak and useless is completely unlike her usual self, and it's all because of that terrible, horrible voice attacking her with its cruel words. Even now, she still feels like this whole ordeal falls back on her shoulders but Ajax's reassurance is the first step to mending her broken confidence. For the first time over these few days, a faint smile tugs at the corners of her lips, relieved and happy that he's still willing to stand by her side after all this.

Ajax is absolutely right. They have to strive for greater heights to beat this thing for good. The fear of the unknown regarding this entity is what scares her the most. If it has the power to control both of them, then there's no telling what else it's capable of. It's terrifying but... she wants to have faith that as long as they have each other, they'll be able to overcome this nightmare. The warmth of his finger finally brings back some of the light in her eyes and despite that she's still scared, she manages to hold her head high, looking up at him with a soft smile. She returns the sweet gesture, curling her finger around his as proof of their unbreakable bond.

But even though she's determined to stay vigilant, nothing prepares her for the most wonderful words he could have ever told her.

I love you.

Those three words spill right into her heart, flushing out all her despair to fill the space with love and joy. Ajax truly is a man of many firsts for her, she can't recall the last time anyone has rendered her speechless. She looks at him unable to say anything for a solid minute, eyes widening in shock and a chest blooming with pure happiness at his confession. She too has thought about sharing the extent of her true feelings to him ever since coming to Snezhnaya but wasn't sure if it would have been too soon to confess something so important. Now, she's all the more assured in her stance, Yoimiya doesn't want to be with anyone else but him. She knows what her heart wants and it's him. ]

... I love you too. You mean the world to me, Ajax. So please don't beat yourself up over this. We'll... k-keep working at... it.

[ Overwhelmed with so many emotions, tears spill from her eyes, tumbling down her cheeks. She's lost track of the amount of times she's cried over the course of these long, agonizing days but this is the first time she's able to bring herself to let out tears of joy. ]

I... [ She has to pause mid-sentence, stopping to take deep breaths. ] p-promise to do my best. I'll keep trying... I'll keep working hard. N-Not just for myself but for you as well...

[monoceroscaeli]

[Happiness swells within him as she returns his gesture and curls her finger around his. He knows this is probably a situation Pantalone was trying to avoid, in case something went wrong, but all he can feel is that this was the best move to make to raise both of their spirits and help them face down this challenge set before them both. Ajax stares down into those golden, gorgeous irises of hers, memorizing every tiny little detail about them and how pretty they look even in the darkest moment of their lives. He doesn't even think twice about what he's told her, letting the words fall from his lips in earnest, just saying what he really thinks and feels, wanting nothing more than to comfort her and support her in her time of need.

Which is why at first, he's not sure why she's gone so silent, her eyes widening in shock. He looks at her in confusion first, wondering if he'd said something wrong, and then she starts to cry again- except it's to reciprocate those feelings that he too, felt so strongly right there in his chest. It takes him a moment to realize exactly what it was that he'd confessed, realization finally reaching his eyes when he tells him that she loves him, too.

She loves me too.]

Yoimiya...

[Pantalone or anyone else who could have been in the room be damned, Childe steps forward to wrap his arms around the tiny frame of Yoimiya, pulling her into a warm embrace and holding her head against his chest. His neck cranes down enough to press his face into the crook of her neck, silent tears streaming down his cheeks, but uses her to keep them hidden as they stream down into the shirt she's wearing. It takes all of his willpower to regulate his breaths, trying not to openly sob along with her, but he can feel his heart burn and his lungs shudder as he chokes back his emotions.]

We can do it, [he whispers to her, holding her tight and letting his coat envelop them both.] I'll be right beside you the whole time, and I'll do my best, too.

[One stuttered breath escapes from him, emotions overwhelming him now that he has her in his arms, that he can feel her against his body, alive and mostly unharmed. He could of lost her, everything was almost over. But he's got her now, safe and in his arms, and he lets out one last choked statement:]

I love you so, so much, Yoimiya. I'm so happy you're okay.

[niwabi]

[ Just like that, all of her fear, all of her worries vanish the moment Ajax envelops her in his arms, those same arms that she was once terrified of are now her cornerstone. She knows Regrator is probably shaking his head and sighing at the pair as they pour out their hearts to one another. This is exactly the situation the Ninth was worried about, he warned her not to get too close to him if she values her life, that there's a possibility his possessed coworker might try to pull at her heartstrings to get close and kill her when she least expects it. But his warnings be damned. The man embracing her, the man who declared his love for her, the man who's managed to capture her heart all the back in Inazuma is truly back.

There's no doubt in her mind that this is her Ajax. This is the man that she swears to love for the rest of her days.

No longer scared of touching him, she doesn't hesitate to wrap her arms around him, reciprocating the hug. As she melts in his hold, she can feel his quiet tears spilling from his eyes and onto her shirt. It hurts her to imagine him suffering all alone, no doubt he's been blaming himself this entire time with his confidence worn down to nothing. One of her hands comes up to gently thread through his ginger locks, providing him with the comfort he so desperately needs and urging him to let it all out and cry as much as he wants. She buries his head in his shoulder, letting the tears fall freely as she indulges in this warmth that she's missed so terribly much. ]

Y-Yes...! We'll do our best together. [ She has to swallow hard, choking back a sob to whisper her stalwart faith into his ear. ] I truly believe that as long as we have each other, we'll be able to overcome anything.

[ His coat and body are just what she needs to finally feel at peace, she should have known Ajax would have never abandoned her and she feels awful for allowing that thought to enter her headspace. This could have ended so differently, she could have died and he would have been wracked with guilt for the rest of his life. A terrifying situation that could have ended in tragedy has brought them closer than ever. She's over the moon to have him back and it gives her hope that maybe, just maybe, they will be able to get through this with the power of their love. ]

I love you too, Ajax. I love you with all of my heart. I missed you, so, so much. These past few days have been so lonely without you.

[monoceroscaeli]

[Yoimiya's warmth, her presence, her everything is exactly what he needs right now. He'll be thankful later that Pantalone didn't try to intervene in this reunion, as he silently lets all of his stress and tears stream out of him as he holds her tight to him. Her hand in his hair gives him an immense amount of comfort, reaffirming that she managed to escape his rampage nearly unscathed and that he gets to see her for another day. His heart swells with both happiness and sorrow, filling with both love and guilt for leaving her alone here in the hospital, for not being strong enough to protect her when she needed him the most, for knowing that everything that's happened has resulted in the realization that they both love each other dearly.

Pantalone gives them a few more moments before he gets fed up with the show of affection, interjecting finally with a soft but commanding tone:]

It's good to have you back, Tartaglia, and that you've recovered well, Miss Naganohara. Now, are the two of you quite done?

[It's clear he doesn't want to be here any longer than he has to- doing this only has benefits for so far, and if he's not needed he'd like to get back to his work. As long as his foot in the door to Inazuma is safe and sound for the time being, and her vulnerable boyfriend can control himself, he wants to go.

Childe quickly wipes his eyes as he pulls away from her, steadying his breathing and standing back up to his full height to turn and face his colleague. There isn't a hint of wetness to his eyes, but they've become red and puffy regardless, as much as he tries to hide how upset he feels.]

Thank you, for taking care of Yoimiya in my stead. I hate to say it, but I owe you one.

[Pantalone's face twists into a wicked smile- those are the best words he's heard out of Childe all day. So the man gives a small bow, his expression saying everything: he won't forget that Childe owes him a favor now.]

Of course. We'll discuss how you can return the favor to me another time.

[That gets a grimace out of Tartaglia, looking over to Yoimiya with dread written all over his face. Whatever he has planned, it won't be good. But he gets that this probably means it's time to go, so he nods once at her before leaning over and gently kissing her forehead.]

When you're able to be discharged, we'll take a few days rest before we leave. We still have a trip to make to Sumeru, but I've told Dottore we won't leave until you're ready. He was a little grumpy about it, haha, but he agreed to wait. Otherwise, I'll come back to visit everyday until then. Okay?

[niwabi]

[ Oops. In Regrator's defense, she gets that they were being a bit too PDA in front of him. For the first time in what has felt like ages, Yoimiya is finally able chirp a melody of giggles, a sign that she is slowly but surely returning back to her usual energetic self. She shoots the Harbinger an apologetic smile but truthfully, this shameless girl isn't all that sorry. Making amends with her dear Ajax is all that matters to her, it's the medicine that will truly send her on the path towards healing.

But maybe she shouldn't be poking too much fun at the situation. From Pantalone's merciless smile to her boyfriend looking as white as a sheet, she can tell Ajax just got in his coworker's scheming web. She looks at his face painted with pure dread, already feeling sorry for him. Whatever Regrator has planned, she just hopes that it doesn't result in another migraine for poor Ajax. She gives him a reassuring smile and brushes over his knuckles with her thumb to let him know that everything will be okay, she'll be there at his side. ]

I need to give you my thanks as well. Thank you so much for looking after me and reuniting me with Tartaglia. Don't work my sweetheart too hard on my behalf, hehe. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.

[ Pantalone returns her kind gesture with a nod a far less wicked expression. What a kind hearted young lady, he thinks to himself. A little too trusting and forgiving but those good qualities play right into his hands. He'll have to thank Childe for introducing him to his golden ticket to Inazuma some time in the future.

With that out of the way, Yoimiya turns to Ajax with a heart overfull of love. She stands up on her tiptoes, planting a parting kiss on his cheek before he goes. ]

The doctors said I should be out of here in a day or two. With any luck, we'll be able to depart for Sumeru within a few days. All I ask is for your next visit... bring me something to eat. Hahaha.

[ Hospital food is sadly not that great.

But before she goes on a tangent, she forces herself to break away from his warmth. She already misses him but sounds like the poor guy got the stink eye from Dottore. Ajax already has his hands full with herself and Pantalone. The last thing he needs is a grumpy doctor on his case. ]

Bye for now, Tartaglia. I'll be waiting for you.

[monoceroscaeli]

[At the very least, he's got Yoimiya by his side while he has to suffer through owing Regrator a debt. The worst person on the face of the earth to be in debt to >:| It's her grave if she wants to offer her help to him, and this ruthless banker isn't too different from the Rooster...always getting the most out of their assets.

But at least that nice kiss to his cheek brings him out of his dread to focus on what really matters. He breaks his gaze with Pantalone to bring it back to Yoimiya, overjoyed to see a little bit of light and life back in her expression instead of the tired, dull gaze he'd seen from her when he first arrived. Things would get better, and he's sure of it now...it'll just take work and effort to really ensure her safety.]

I've got some homemade borscht with your name on it.

[He nods, missing her touch and warmth next to him, but knowing that it wouldn't be long before he'll be able to have it again. It also gives him time to meditate and mentally steel himself for some kind of problem like that again, but he'll worry about that once he leaves.]

I'll see you soon. Get some rest.

[Tartaglia's hand reaches out to brush her cheek affectionately before he turns, walking out with Pantalone and closing the door behind him. He's got a lot to think about for the time being, and returns to his quarters here in the capitol for now, bringing Yoimiya the promised borscht the next day and visiting every day until she's cleared to leave.]

---

[The change from the snowy, blizzard-swept lands of Snezhnaya to the humid and hot climate of Sumeru was something, that's for sure.

No longer in his Harbinger coat, Childe's donned his normal attire for the trip to the rainforest, fanning himself and sitting with only a slight bit of discomfort as they travel up the river towards Sumeru City from Port Ormos. Being on the water is the only thing that made it more bearable for the time being, but he knows the moment they're away from the water, things would get more sticky than they already were. The only disadvantage to being from a cold climate is being unaccustomed to hotter ones...and the only way around it is taking off clothing.

Dottore seems rather unperturbed by it however, standing at the side and looking out into the wilderness as they pass it all by. His face is unreadable, which annoys Childe, only because it's hot.]

So what's the plan here, anyway? You haven't told us anything since we left, nor did you say what would happen if these Aranara creatures don't agree to your request.

That is precisely why we haven't discussed it further, [Dottore responds harshly, annoyed with Childe's annoyance.] It's by her rules that we have to do it this way. There's nothing to discuss if nothing comes of this.

[He turns his back again towards them, peering out once more. No longer interested in what Dottore has to say or think about matters, he turns back to Yoimiya.]

So, how dangerous is this rainforest here? I'd really like to get a little exercise in once we get off the boat. I've been sitting idle for far too long.

[His bad mood has put him in a fighty mood...]

[niwabi]

[ The sight of Sumeru's luscious rainforest puts her heart at ease, it's been a while since her last visit, and she's dying to come back and see Avin. There's still so much of Sumeru that she has yet to see with her own eyes, so returning with her boyfriend in tow is extra exciting. She should be overjoyed as they ride across the water's edge.

And yet...

Yoimiya can hear the two Harbingers at each other's throats, she can just barely make out her boyfriend's annoyance and the Doctor telling him off. Despite her body recovering from that horrible ordeal, she's still dealing with the aftermath. She's uncharacteristically quiet, not saying a single word as her eyes watch the shimmering river flowing all the way to Sumeru City. A lot is going on inside her mind, namely the fear of that dark presence taking control of both her and Ajax. She wants to have hope that the evil entity has no power outside of Snezhnaya, but... she saw what it did to Ajax, it's so terribly strong. For the first time since she's been brought into this world, Yoimiya can't find any positives about this situation. Not with a looming threat hanging over them. There's also something else that's been on her mind since the moment they stepped foot on Sumeru's soil.

Is handing an Aranara to Dottore on a silver platter truly the right thing to do? How will Avin react if she finds out she's essentially sacrificing one of them to save her own skin?

Yoimiya hears Ajax's question, but she doesn't respond right away. So much is going on inside of her head. A dead silence filling the air finally snaps her out of her daze. ]

Hm? Oh, sorry! I was spacing out.

[ She says with a nervous laugh, sheepishly scratching the back of her head. No matter what happens, seeing and listening to her boyfriend ready to duke it out with the next thing he sees is the key that lifts her spirits. ]

If memory serves correctly, this forest should be fraught with danger. [ a.k.a there's lot of potential opponents for her thrill-seeking sweetheart. ] There are even these beasts called Rishboland Tigers that are extremely aggressive and protective over their territory.

[monoceroscaeli]

[Ajax leans forward a little bit, to see the unfocused look in her eyes as she stares out at the river. He waits patiently for a few moments, and is about to say something when she finally seems to snap out of it. He doesn't answer her right away, looking at her to ensure that she was alright, but it seems like she is.]

Sounds like that could make for a good warm up, [he comments, but then he lowers his voice to something quieter. Normally, he wouldn't be worried about Yoimiya being so quiet and unresponsive, but she hasn't been acting herself the whole way to Sumeru.]

How are you holding up? [Tartaglia reaches to gently touch her arm, a layer of concern lining his features.]

You've been pretty quiet since we left Snezhnaya.

[niwabi]

[ Ajax has always been a wise fella, especially regarding her. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Yoimiya has always been an open book so it's no surprise when her sweet boyfriend picks up on her quiet demeanor that's uncharacteristic of her. She glances down at the hand against her arm, touched by his concern and sweet gesture. The warmth of his fingers against her skin is a reminder that she's blessed with such a kind soul as her partner. ]

I'm okay, I promise. Sorry for worrying you.

[ In the face of everything, it's hard to be her usual cheery self, but she's determined to try her hardest for Ajax. Wanting to put on her best brave face for him, she shoots him a soft, reassuring smile. ]

With everything that we've been through in such a short amount of time, I just... have a lot on my mind. When we're at our destination, I'll tell you everything. I promise.

[ She'll be happy to tell him once they're out of Dottore's earshot, figuring that the second Harbinger isn't interested in hearing about their personal drama. Craving more of his warmth, she leans against him, resting her head on his shoulder. ]

So until then, don't worry about me too much, okay? Hehe, this is our first time visiting another country together, so let's try to enjoy our trip.

[monoceroscaeli]

[He'd suspected that she might be preoccupied and worried about something. He doesn't have to be told what the topic is probably going to be about, nodding to her though that concerned look doesn't leave his face. He knows she doesn't mean to worry him, he knows that it's important to her to be able to be strong enough in the face of this mess to not burden him, but he can't help but worry. It's just part of who he is- worrying about the ones he cares about.

So despite how hot he might be, Tartaglia makes sure he's a good rock to lean against, wrapping his arm around her back as she leans against him. He has to sigh in a bit of resignation and content at the same time...he appreciates her trying to be strong for him right now, but it's hard to not worry.]

There's no need to apologize. I'll do my best not to act like a worry wart.

[Childe lets his head fall on top of hers for a moment, closing his eyes and doing his best to push down all that worry he has, the annoyance from being hot in the rainforest, and his anger at the thing that's making them go through this. Yoimiya's presence next to him is helping soothe his anxiety, and he tries to meditate and just let his heart beat for her, without anything distracting him or taking away from this precious moment.]

Perhaps, instead, when we arrive...we should go see the sights a little. I suddenly don't have the urge to take on that Rishboland Tiger you mentioned.

[He knows that's unusual for him, but when he thinks about it...for this time, he'd rather just spend that time with Yoimiya somewhere where they could talk for a bit instead.]

[niwabi]

[ The warmth of his arm around her back is another reminder of how lucky she is to have a caring partner like Ajax. Not even the rainforest's humidity can pull her away from this wonderful man, all she wants is to snuggle up close and soak in his warmth for the remainder of the trip. She feels terrible for making him worry, to begin with. Yoimiya has always prided herself in being a strong-willed gal who can take on anything thrown her way but everything that's transpired has made her realize even she has her own limits.

But... as she feels his head rest on top of hers, she's able to forget about their horrible ordeal and be at ease thanks to his presence. She closes her eyes, blocking out the forest's ambiance with the soothing sound of his heartbeat. Even with all this certainty, there's still that little bit of bright spark burning within her. So long as she has Ajax, she'll gain her spunk back and be able to overcome their current situation. ]

Let's do it! Sumeru is so big and there's so much I didn't see on my last visit. I'd love nothing more than to explore everything with you.

[ A look of surprise paints her features at his offer. It's not like her bloodthirsty hound to turn down a fight. She gets what he's up to and appreciates it, he's clearly trying to put her needs and wants before his. ]

Thank you, Ajax. I'm sorry I've been kind of a downer lately but I appreciate you so, so much.

[monoceroscaeli]

[He's glad to hear that she still hasn't lost all her enthusiasm. Normal people would have been too scared to do anything, too weak to try to move forward. But Yoimiya isn't a normal person, and he couldn't be more glad that he's got one firecracker of a girlfriend. Ajax's free hand moves gingerly to tangle a few of his fingers with hers as they rest, smiling softly as he stares downward at them.]

Anyone else would have crumpled if they found themselves in the same situation as you. Like I said, there's no need to apologize. I love you.

[Now that he's said it, it feels like he can't say it enough. Tartaglia nuzzles his head lightly into her own, to reiterate how much he means it and how much he cares. Dottore seems to have gotten bored with standing on the deck, and turns to leave to retire to his cabin, ignoring the two love birds as they sit and coo over each other. Another reason why they think Tartaglia isn't fit to be a Harbinger...he's too soft.]

C'mon. I think Dottore has the right idea. We've still got some time before we arrive in Sumeru City, and the midday sun is taking its toll on me. Want to go rest for a bit before we arrive? I think it'll start to cool down by the time we get there. Then we can get a taste of the night life.

[niwabi]

I love you too, Ajax.

[ Thank the stars above for Ajax, he knows exactly what to say to pull her out of her funk. Her heart feels at ease as she soaks in his tender love and warmth radiating off that sweet gesture as their fingers intertwine. It's how she was a little scared to say those three words but now... she's unable to stop. If there's a silver lining in this situation, it's realizing the true extent of her feelings for him.

She loves him and vows to never stop telling him. But, it looks like poor Dottore has had enough of their little lovey-dovey act. Oops. They were getting a little too cuddly in front of him... oh well. Maybe their PDA is the most horrifying thing the Doctor has seen in a good while. ]

That sounds like a splendid idea! We could use some cooling off after traversing through that humid rainforest and... I also have a little gift for you. I've been ecstatic to give it to you since we left Port Ormos.

[ Now with Dottore out of the picture, Yoimiya takes his hand, gently holding him by his fingers as she leads them back to their quarters. ]

[monoceroscaeli]

[Happy that he can at least see her brighten up a little bit, he'll look forward to heading down and resting in a somewhat cooler place with her. Cuddling in humidity isn't nearly as nice as cuddling in a room that's cooled by the strange inventions of the Doctor.]

A gift? You didn't go sneaking around behind my back while we were stopped there, did you?

[He smiles as he follows her down below deck, turning the corner and making their way into their shared room. It's not big, but it's not small either- a nice room fitting for a Harbinger traveling around the world. The bed is large enough for the both of them, and there's a small table for two in there as well, along with space for any luggage. A bathroom is attached- no Harbinger would share a bathroom with their underlings, not that Childe particularly cares.]

I should've known to keep an eye on you.

[He winks as he closes the door behind him, thanking Dottore for the brilliant invention of crude air conditioning for times like this.]

[niwabi]

[ No words are needed as Yoimiya simply looks at him with an all-knowing grin, a grin that pretty much screams I sure did some sneaking around like the little imp that she is. Pulling a fast one over a famous Harbinger feels like the feat of the century.

One step into their humble quarters and Yoimiya already feels ten times better. The cool air pouring out of Dottore's invention is much more welcomed than the humidity of the rainforest. She'll have to ask him if he can make a portable version of his invention, it will be splendid to have for those hot Inazuman summer nights. ]

Hehehehe. [ Get a load of this girl, giggling like a devil. ] You could say I'm picking up the art of stealth thanks to being around you for so long. Watch out! I might sneak up behind and scare you one day. Y'know, like... boo!

[ So scary... truly the most terrifying thing in all of Teyvat. With that aside, Yoimiya plops down on one of the chairs, pulling a small box out of her travel bag. ]

Do you know the owner of Acara Crafts, Fayez? He's the one who made Aramiya! During my last visit, I asked him if he could make a special Arnara carving. Luckily, he happened to catch me when we arrived in Port Ormos and told me he finished the commission. I... had it made especially for you. I hope you like it.

[ She hands him the box and inside is a wooden Aranara carving suspicously resembling a certain someone. ]

WAIT DID YOU DRAW THAT

[monoceroscaeli]

[That look on her face tells him everything he needed to know- she definitely did sneak off when he wasn't looking to go do a bit of her own shopping while they were there. Maybe she is learning how to be a little too shady due to being around him...which amuses the hell out of him and gets him to grin. Look at her, she's so proud of herself.]

Truthfully, this is my first time to Sumeru, so I don't know much of anything here, [he says as he takes the box from her, taking a look at it. If she hadn't already given him context, he wouldn't of had any idea of what was inside.

Opening it, he finds the cute little carving, taking it out and delicately laying it in his hand to look at. It's really cute, and his eyes light up at the quaint little statue. It's got his hair, his mask, and his paludamentum too. Ajax looks over to her, leaning in to give her a little kiss on her lips before admiring his gift a little more.]

What an adorable little carving. I'll have to personally compliment the creator...thank you. This is a wonderful gift.

I SURE DID c:

[niwabi]

[ Though the light in his eyes have been cruelly snatched away from him, Yoimiya swears that when those beautiful ocean blue eyes glimmer, they shine brighter than fireworks bursting in the night sky. The moment his lips meet with hers, her heart feels like soaring above the clouds from the love pouring out of his lips. She duly kisses him back, reciprocating the immense love and appreciation she has for this incredible man. ]

I'm so happy you like it. If we get a chance, we should stop by and pick up carvings for the kids. Maybe we can even put in a request for Aranaras that look like Teucer, Tonia, and Anton.

[ The possibilities are endless! Just like that, she's already beginning to perk up at seeing his wonderous smile and thinking about his siblings. ]

Besides, I figured Aramiya was lonely and could use a friend. And Arajax will make a splendid partner for her.