[There was so much more going on behind those sharp, grey eyes of his, and Yosuke knew it. A lot more, he can see it on his face. Shifting, he has to wonder himself if he was ready for this. He sits quietly, reflecting back to that night for what might be the first time since then. Voluntarily, of course- his own dreams had been plagued every now and again with events similar to that night, but it was always a relief when he could see Yu safe and sound in his bed instead of dead on the ground.
He has a lot to say. But it's coming with the right words to this conversation that's hard. He thinks for a good minute, letting the silence fill the space between the two of them. The entirety of the situation wasn't one that he'd looked at closely- the big picture was set before him, but through this difficult time he could only look at magnified parts of the carefully woven tapestry.
It's now, that he steadies his breathing, to speak his mind. To speak the truth.]
Listen. You didn't push me into anything at all. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now.
[He says with a certain determination that was sincere and solid. Like he wouldn't budge on this point, no matter what.]
I'm glad you told me. Back home, I wouldn't of been able to handle it. But this isn't home. I almost lost you back there. And I don't know what I would of done if I had to go back without you. Yu... [He takes another breath.]
There's a lot of things that are really messed up in my head right now. And to be honest, I don't know if I'm ready for this either. The thought of it scares me, to go home and tell everyone that you and I...that we're more than just partners. That there's something that runs a lot deeper between the two of us. Everything has turned in a direction that I never saw coming. But...when I think about it, I think I always knew.
Like, that there's a place in my heart that always had these...feelings inside. A place that I didn't want to admit even existed. It seriously freaked me out, and I didn't know how to handle it. So I ignored it, shoved it off to the side and told myself that I was just being stupid. And instead of accepting it, I let it eat at me. I think getting to know Kanji better helped a lot, but I still didn't want to acknowledge it within myself. I chose to focus on the other things about myself that I wanted to fix, to stop letting envy get me down and focus on what I could do today, and the next. To try to live a better life. To better myself, and to be a better friend to you guys.
But when you were dying in my arms, it hit me like a semi. That I really cared about you more than words could describe. And not like in some weird way! Just because the girls want all over you, doesn't mean I do.
But there's one thing I do know. That I want to be with you, more than anyone else. I still don't know what I'm going to do after high school, but I know I want to make this work. I want to try. And listen, bro...I'm sorry if I say things like that. I'm not used to it, and I'm afraid of being humiliated in front of the entire school and my parents. I know I have to come to accept it, and maybe even someday I'll be proud. But for now, this is something I need to work on. And I'm hoping you'd be willing to work with me on it...together.
[He finally exhales once more, done with this speech. He feels better that he got it off his chest, but he also is afraid that he'd hurt Yu again. But it was the truth, and he knew that the truth wasn't always something nice and fluffy. Or they wouldn't of worked so hard, gone through so much to attain it in the TV world.]
THANKS A LOT????
He has a lot to say. But it's coming with the right words to this conversation that's hard. He thinks for a good minute, letting the silence fill the space between the two of them. The entirety of the situation wasn't one that he'd looked at closely- the big picture was set before him, but through this difficult time he could only look at magnified parts of the carefully woven tapestry.
It's now, that he steadies his breathing, to speak his mind. To speak the truth.]
Listen. You didn't push me into anything at all. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now.
[He says with a certain determination that was sincere and solid. Like he wouldn't budge on this point, no matter what.]
I'm glad you told me. Back home, I wouldn't of been able to handle it. But this isn't home. I almost lost you back there. And I don't know what I would of done if I had to go back without you. Yu... [He takes another breath.]
There's a lot of things that are really messed up in my head right now. And to be honest, I don't know if I'm ready for this either. The thought of it scares me, to go home and tell everyone that you and I...that we're more than just partners. That there's something that runs a lot deeper between the two of us. Everything has turned in a direction that I never saw coming. But...when I think about it, I think I always knew.
Like, that there's a place in my heart that always had these...feelings inside. A place that I didn't want to admit even existed. It seriously freaked me out, and I didn't know how to handle it. So I ignored it, shoved it off to the side and told myself that I was just being stupid. And instead of accepting it, I let it eat at me. I think getting to know Kanji better helped a lot, but I still didn't want to acknowledge it within myself. I chose to focus on the other things about myself that I wanted to fix, to stop letting envy get me down and focus on what I could do today, and the next. To try to live a better life. To better myself, and to be a better friend to you guys.
But when you were dying in my arms, it hit me like a semi. That I really cared about you more than words could describe. And not like in some weird way! Just because the girls want all over you, doesn't mean I do.
But there's one thing I do know. That I want to be with you, more than anyone else. I still don't know what I'm going to do after high school, but I know I want to make this work. I want to try. And listen, bro...I'm sorry if I say things like that. I'm not used to it, and I'm afraid of being humiliated in front of the entire school and my parents. I know I have to come to accept it, and maybe even someday I'll be proud. But for now, this is something I need to work on. And I'm hoping you'd be willing to work with me on it...together.
[He finally exhales once more, done with this speech. He feels better that he got it off his chest, but he also is afraid that he'd hurt Yu again. But it was the truth, and he knew that the truth wasn't always something nice and fluffy. Or they wouldn't of worked so hard, gone through so much to attain it in the TV world.]